Discussion Pros and cons of a suicide note?

[amerie]

I want to write a suicide note but it seems like too much mental effort if I'm not even going to be alive to care about the opinions of others

 

[yellowsouled]

Then don't write one. I think the stats of suicides with notes actually show that most people don't leave one behind, and that the notes are more a trope than anything.

When I CTB I'll probably post one online as a sort of "publish x weeks from now" thing, just so people on my personal social media (disconnected from my "public" ones) know why I suddenly stopped posting. But probably not one for relatives to find.

 

[Surai]

Ive thought and thought of ways I write it, but it seems the more words I put the less I want

 

[Worndown]

You write the note because you care about people now. It is to hive them direction when you are hone.
Keep it focused on why you chose to go. Understanding helps them. You no longer need help.

 

[VoidBlessed]

I've recorded a series of videos on my phone charting my downward spiral for two reasons. I care about the people I leave behind and want them to know the full reason why as well as get to see my true emotional state which I usually hide from the world. The second is that I feel a video is easier for me to produce and more personal to share, because it's not just my handwriting, it's my face and voice that they'll be able to play as many times as they need to.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think just from a legal standpoint: This was a suicide, no one else was involved- they're a good idea. I don't think they necessarily have to be that long. All I really want to cover in mine would be: It wasn't an impulsive decision. There's nothing anyone could have done to help. I hate it that I've caused anyone pain and if I have, I hope they can forgive me.

Personally, I feel like they're something at least for those left behind. They won't answer all the questions but I suppose it shows you cared enough about them to try. Some people have had awful experiences with their nearest though so, I can understand why some don't feel obliged to show them any courtesy back.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

This is just my opinion but here goes nothing:

Pros:

- you get a chance to share your true thoughts to those who you think deserve to hear it and the only way this can be done is via a suicide note because suicide has to be done in secret
- those who read the suicide note could have the grieving process easier for them
- it could potentially get rid of feelings like regret at not doing enough to try and "save" you
- if you hate your family members and they are the reason why you're suicidal, you can write a suicide note to them as a final effort to show them how much trouble they have caused you in life

Cons:
- it requires some mental effort to write a suicide note and the suicide attempt is one of those things that requires a lot of mental effort itself
- your suicide note may not get the desired effect that you wanted it to get
- if you write a suicide note shaming your family members who wronged you and if you were to fail your suicide attempt, you're completely fucked

 

[VoidBlessed]

- if you write a suicide note shaming your family members who wronged you and if you were to fail your suicide attempt, you're completely fucked

This is a HUGE one here. Personally this is just not a risk worth taking. If there is an afterlife you can always hash it out there.

 

[MercenariesofMidgar]

I feel like it would help console your loved ones but requires an incredible amount of mental effort imo... makes me exhausted after writing one paragraph. I'm planning to write pages too

 

[ringo99]

I don't plan to write one at all. The only thing I'll leave behind are my will, life insurance documents and instructions to access my finances

 

[Death is my goal]

not worth it, waste of time

 

[fallingleaves]

I think about this a lot. My mental anguish and desire to die often makes it hard to write, as others have expressed. But I also have the feeling of wanting to explain myself to certain people, and yes, even tell people how they failed me. I was a writer once, but figuring out how to write this stuff has been hard. I understand why a lot of people don't leave notes and I'm trying to figure out what and how I want to communicate to people if I try to go gently into that good night.

 

[HereWeGo!]

I feel like it would help console your loved ones but requires an incredible amount of mental effort imo... makes me exhausted after writing one paragraph. I'm planning to write pages too

I know what you're talking about. I've been writing my notes for several weeks now, right now I've written five pages. It feels like writing a never ending story... that's really exhausting. It's really hard to make "the perfect note".

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

It is a lot of effort but it's worth it if you care at all about how you want to be remembered or if you want to clear the air of any ambiguities or questions people may have. The problem is if you do make a note you have to make sure it's as clear as possible otherwise might make even more wrong assumptions that you won't be able to refute.

 

[Opera]

I would write one for my friends but not for family. I think it just depends on who you want to tell imo

 

[waterbed]

I would write one to assure my family they couldn't have done anything for me. They tried their best but it has been enough.

 

[failureofahuman]

I can't get the words right so I don't even try

 

[TheHolySword]

I'm going to leave notes for many people. I want them to have something to read when they're missing me. Something in my voice. Telling them I love them, I'm watching over them. Something that won't give them peace when it happens, but will give them comfort when they need it.

 

[Worndown]

I can't get the words right so I don't even try

Even a simple list of the things that pushed you into this solution will be helpful.
They do not need poetry, just basic information to process.

 

[me_when_:D]

I'm going to leave notes for many people. I want them to have something to read when they're missing me. Something in my voice. Telling them I love them, I'm watching over them. Something that won't give them peace when it happens, but will give them comfort when they need it.

Whta do you write about to these people? (I mean like generally, not specifically, like your memories of them, feelings towards them or just thoughts on your relationship with them?)

I am thinking if writing these notes for people individually too, but idk how to make it least gloomy and depressing lol.

 

[LURKMOAR]

I agree with @Forever Sleep in that you should only leave a suicide note if it makes the police's job easier. Otherwise, you probably shouldn't write one if your family/friends genuinely cared for you—any reason(s) you give would just be met with, "But we could have gotten you help for that..." inadvertently creating more questions about what could have been.

And when no one cares for you, there is simply no point in leaving some nasty remarks behind when it's just a petty and impotent way of getting back at abusers. Never understood why people in abusive relationships thought that this was a good idea.

 

[HereWeGo!]

Otherwise, you probably shouldn't write one if your family/friends genuinely cared for you—any reason(s) you give would just be met with, "But we could have gotten you help for that..." inadvertently creating more questions about what could have been.

That's also what I think can happen and keeps it really hard for me to write my final notes.

You can read my about my thoughts in my thread here:

Stuck with composing suicide letter & practical issues

Hi there! [My mother tongue isn't English so sorry for the possible incorrections in the text] I've been in the mood for CTB for some months now. There are two main factors that keeps me away from it yet: 1. Suicide letter: I don't really feel comfortable to tell my family/friends about the...

sanctioned-suicide.net