yume_
Coffee addict
- Dec 8, 2025
- 84
I'm posting this more for accountability so feel free to just ignore :D
I have been thinking of this for quite some time. I was on the fence if I was going to actually try anything, on one side I have suicide ( which I am too lazy to go research and get all the things for the methods + I would probably chicken out anyways ) and the other side is recovery ( which would mean I have to try living......). Basically I am too lazy for both
I'm sick of having to repeat this cycle. I'm going insane :) am I already insane? I have done nothing of worth for years. Years passed and nothing changed. Y'know I tried many times, countless times. But that's the thing, one random night I promised myself: "I'm going to change! I'm going to be better!" Only to wake up and forget everything. A motivation that doesn't even last a day. I didn't want to promise anymore because every single broken promise hurt me more and more. Eventually I just gave up and ended up in this forum. But it's time I move on? It's time I make one last promise. One that if I break I'll never be able to make another one. I promise, truthfully, that I'm going to try to get better. I'll leave the big decision in the end of this promise. If I feel like living till then I'll live. If I don't... You already know.
If I continue the way I am rn I'm going to end up kms anyways so might as well try something ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ tbh this is more of a last resort for me cause nothing gets me to move so maybe betting my life on it will? I'm going all in :D
I have been thinking of this for quite some time. I was on the fence if I was going to actually try anything, on one side I have suicide ( which I am too lazy to go research and get all the things for the methods + I would probably chicken out anyways ) and the other side is recovery ( which would mean I have to try living......). Basically I am too lazy for both
I'm sick of having to repeat this cycle. I'm going insane :) am I already insane? I have done nothing of worth for years. Years passed and nothing changed. Y'know I tried many times, countless times. But that's the thing, one random night I promised myself: "I'm going to change! I'm going to be better!" Only to wake up and forget everything. A motivation that doesn't even last a day. I didn't want to promise anymore because every single broken promise hurt me more and more. Eventually I just gave up and ended up in this forum. But it's time I move on? It's time I make one last promise. One that if I break I'll never be able to make another one. I promise, truthfully, that I'm going to try to get better. I'll leave the big decision in the end of this promise. If I feel like living till then I'll live. If I don't... You already know.
If I continue the way I am rn I'm going to end up kms anyways so might as well try something ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ tbh this is more of a last resort for me cause nothing gets me to move so maybe betting my life on it will? I'm going all in :D
