I'm breaking the cycle.

[hughmun9]

I've been bed rotting for the past 3 months now. Like genuine 16 hrs/day in bed, sporadically browsing reddit/sasu/youtube, 1 meal delivered to my door every day. I took a shower last week and noticed that my legs were shaking slightly from the lack of exercise. I initially wanted to make myself as miserable as possible to push myself over the edge and CTB. I don't think I'll manage to at this rate...

I was reading this book and a paragraph spoke to me:

"She is sleeping because she is bored. Boredom is a vicious cycle. It causes sleep, which causes more ennui, which in turn causes a greater need for sleep. Watching television is a form of sleep. She is just more overt in her actions. She must consciously break the habit and the cycle."

So I am going to be breaking the cycle. I've tried to before, at least 3 or 4 times but within 20 minutes I'm back in my bed. I'll commit this time around. I'll clean my room, go for a walk and cook up a meal. Then I'll force myself to schedule these NHS social events in my calendar and attend them. I've attended them before and didn't get much out of them, but it's better than nothing. Then I'll look for some kind of volunteering. I've literally spoken to one social worker for 40 minutes in the past month, no other social interaction. No motivation is going to come to me. I'm empty. With no energy to move me. I'll need to push myself for a few weeks to restart my engine and get some natural momentum. I'm hoping that's possible since I'm so, so numb right now.

 

[Always-in-trouble]

I've been bed rotting for the past 3 months now. Like genuine 16 hrs/day in bed, sporadically browsing reddit/sasu/youtube, 1 meal delivered to my door every day. I took a shower last week and noticed that my legs were shaking slightly from the lack of exercise. I initially wanted to make myself as miserable as possible to push myself over the edge and CTB. I don't think I'll manage to at this rate...

I was reading this book and a paragraph spoke to me:

"She is sleeping because she is bored. Boredom is a vicious cycle. It causes sleep, which causes more ennui, which in turn causes a greater need for sleep. Watching television is a form of sleep. She is just more overt in her actions. She must consciously break the habit and the cycle."

So I am going to be breaking the cycle. I've tried to before, at least 3 or 4 times but within 20 minutes I'm back in my bed. I'll commit this time around. I'll clean my room, go for a walk and cook up a meal. Then I'll force myself to schedule these NHS social events in my calendar and attend them. I've attended them before and didn't get much out of them, but it's better than nothing. Then I'll look for some kind of volunteering. I've literally spoken to one social worker for 40 minutes in the past month, no other social interaction. No motivation is going to come to me. I'm empty. With no energy to move me. I'll need to push myself for a few weeks to restart my engine and get some natural momentum. I'm hoping that's possible since I'm so, so numb right now.

What's the book's name? Is it some kind of fiction about someone being trapped?

 

[hughmun9]

What's the book's name? Is it some kind of fiction about someone being trapped?

I'm a little embarassed to mention it on here . No, it's a response to someone's question about why their sister is 'always sleeping'. It's meant to be non-fiction though some might see it as fiction.

 

[hughmun9]

Update. Did fuck all. Brushed my teeth and picked up some trash. I'll try again tommorow. I don't know why this is so hard. I say 3 months, but technically it's been more like 8 months. I guess changing your environment isn't as easy as it sounds.

 

[tipoftheRGB]

I was in a similar situation for most of this year. The book and also the workbook Atomic Habits by James Clear has helped me a bit - especially the 2 minute rule part. An app blocker called Stay Focused and a website blocker called Cold Turkey helped me a lot. Being up in the day and working outside of the house is a suggestion I have for you which I am also going to try myself. Attending those nhs events and doing volunteering is a great idea - social isolation is the worst thing you can do. Also I recommend going for runs because you can just put on any of old clothes, be unshowered and just run around somewhere so much easier than other forms of exercise and exercise boosts energy and maybe mood for some people.

Honestly it is very hard and well done for brushing your teeth and taking out the trash today even - better than nothing. Baby steps.

 

[EternalShore]

Best of luck, hughmun9! :) I hope you can continue doing better each day~ ^_^ all at once is hard from what I hear, but starting something, sticking ot it, and maybe adding a bit more each day might be more effective~ :) ofc, results won't come immediately, but it's the only way to get some place that isn't nowhere~ ^_^