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perpetual_ennui

perpetual_ennui

Time heals nothing...
Aug 16, 2023
5
Planning on CTB tonight unless I pussy out. Got a music playlist set to guide me into the afterlife or whatever is beyond this state of existence (if it's nothingness I'm fine with that too). Got any parting words you'd like to leave with me? Not looking to start a pity party or anything: just thought this post was warranted.
 
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tsykoais

tsykoais

i can't drown my demons they know how to swim
Apr 9, 2023
154
whether you do or don't i hope you find your peace and good luck op
 
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h4ppyhypoxia

h4ppyhypoxia

Experienced
Aug 8, 2026
293
hope you find the peace youre looking for no matter what you choose, what are your favourite songs on your playlist?
 
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desiderium

desiderium

divinely inhuman.
Nov 23, 2021
80
Whatever you choose, I hope you find the quiet peace you're seeking. I wish you a peaceful departure that gives you the ending you're striving for. <3
 
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fadedghost

fadedghost

Found SaSu after reading BBC & watching YouTube
Dec 10, 2025
1,032
Planning on CTB tonight unless I pussy out. Got a music playlist set to guide me into the afterlife or whatever is beyond this state of existence (if it's nothingness I'm fine with that too). Got any parting words you'd like to leave with me? Not looking to start a pity party or anything: just thought this post was warranted.
1. Are you male or female?

2. You've only posted 4 things on here. Why so few?

3. Who is in your avatar?

4. Did you at least try any standard treatments to try to decrease your depression?

5. You previously wrote you were considering trying to take a fatal dose of propo-something. Is that still what your plan is?

6. Why do you want to do this? Do you have a terminal illness? Severe disability?

7. What is on the music playlist?

8. You've been here since 2023 and barely posted. Did things get better at one point? Why so quiet?

9. Have you considered options other than suicide? Why or why not?

I'm sorry you are suffering. Just a reminder that in many situations, people with depression who get treated do recover and go on to have happy lives. You probably already know this, but sometimes people try multiple medications or doctors before ending up doing better.
 
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perpetual_ennui

perpetual_ennui

Time heals nothing...
Aug 16, 2023
5
1. Are you male or female?

2. You've only posted 4 things on here. Why so few?

3. Who is in your avatar?

4. Did you at least try any standard treatments to try to decrease your depression?

5. You previously wrote you were considering trying to take a fatal dose of propo-something. Is that still what your plan is?

6. Why do you want to do this? Do you have a terminal illness? Severe disability?

7. What is on the music playlist?

8. You've been here since 2023 and barely posted. Did things get better at one point? Why so quiet?

9. Have you considered options other than suicide? Why or why not?

I'm sorry you are suffering. Just a reminder that in many situations, people with depression who get treated do recover and go on to have happy lives. You probably already know this, but sometimes people try multiple medications or doctors before ending up doing better.
1. Male
2. I heard about SS in a YouTube documentary many years ago and was passively suicidal back then.
3. My avatar is Phillip Mainlander, a philosopher who argued that the entire purpose of life is death. He killed himself shortly after completing his magnum opus, seeing that he had completed his purpose.
4. Standard treatment has in fact made my condition worse, as I am now dealing with chronic akathisia from some of the medication I'm on.
5. Same plan, same dose.
6. My illness is by no means terminal but it makes my life a living hell.
7. I have the albums "Home, Like NoPlace is There" by The Hotelier, "The Normal Album" by Will Wood, and "Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge" and "The Black Parade", both by My Chemical Romance.
8. Things got better for a short while since I joined but have been rapidly going downhill. I don't see a way out of my current situation.
9. I've been to therapy for around eight years now, been on meds for six, none of it helped.

To any reading this please by no means think that meds or therapy will not work for you. I'm just a lost cause, I guess.
 
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darksouls

darksouls

Angelic
May 10, 2025
4,364
however you decide,
I wish you the best, I hope you find relief from suffering ❤️‍🩹
 
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fadedghost

fadedghost

Found SaSu after reading BBC & watching YouTube
Dec 10, 2025
1,032
1. Male
2. I heard about SS in a YouTube documentary many years ago and was passively suicidal back then.
3. My avatar is Phillip Mainlander, a philosopher who argued that the entire purpose of life is death. He killed himself shortly after completing his magnum opus, seeing that he had completed his purpose.
4. Standard treatment has in fact made my condition worse, as I am now dealing with chronic akathisia from some of the medication I'm on.
5. Same plan, same dose.
6. My illness is by no means terminal but it makes my life a living hell.
7. I have the albums "Home, Like NoPlace is There" by The Hotelier, "The Normal Album" by Will Wood, and "Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge" and "The Black Parade", both by My Chemical Romance.
8. Things got better for a short while since I joined but have been rapidly going downhill. I don't see a way out of my current situation.
9. I've been to therapy for around eight years now, been on meds for six, none of it helped.

To any reading this please by no means think that meds or therapy will not work for you. I'm just a lost cause, I guess.
thanks for replying.

i wish you weren't so unhappy. i understand, i am often unhappy too

i have no idea if your plan is going to work, like no idea... no comment from me on it... but... um, are you just guessing with it? i hope it doesn't result in a large amount of pain, i've never heard of anyone trying that way...

i'm sorry you have akathesia. i stopped taking psych meds due to side-effects, disliking psychiatry and psychology generally and the feeling of losing my autonomy, and not feeling like the symptom reduction was worth it to me compared to the financial and time burdens and side-effect burdens. My akathesia did go away mostly after i stopped. i did have some worsening issues issues from stopping, but still prefer it this way.

Have you tried ketamine or psychedlics? If you're this suicidal, why not consider it?
 
Slark

Slark

Experienced
Apr 30, 2023
213
I wish for you to find peace and happiness, whatever decision you make. ❤️
 

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