Privileged people have got it better, by and large.

[Lost Magic]

Now, I am not saying that being born into a life of privileged doesn't have its own set of problems, but coming from a stable family, in a good community with great friends is a brilliant start in life. I didn't have any of that growing up and it has definitely added to my mental problems and suicidality. Anybody else feel similar?

 

[Foresight]

I agree. I'd add good looks to the list. It's definitely a better environment for a comfortable life and body. Not always, I get it, but stress from poverty, bullying, rejection, neglect, lack of stimulating activities and hobbies, etc. works against the brain during development.

 

[theboy]

I am privileged and yet I have lived with sadness for years

 

[KQuotientW]

Privileged doesn't mean stable.

I went to both private and public schools; I've grew up in working class, middle class and upper middle class, environments. I've lived in poorer (by western standards) neighbourhoods and wealthier suburbs. My parents were tertiary educated and my stepfather was owner or manager of various pathology practices around Melbourne. At one point, after leaving pathology then working for federal health (universal healthcare), he was earning $800k a year - I'm not kidding.

Many people suddenly wanted to be my "friend" and eventually the subject of money would make its way into the conversation. Next, they become angry because they'd expected that I would open my purse and throw money at them. The myth that nothing can harm you if you're family are well off, kinda gets under my skin a bit.

Growing up, I was sexually abused by my bio father, later by my stepfather too. My bio father even used me to make child exploitation material (aka, incorrectly, as child porn images). Because of the belief that abuse doesn't happen in such environments, or that victims should just put up with it because their abusers are financially comfortable, I often was not helped or believed when I would try to report it. I've also seen women who marry for money being abused by their husbands who use money as control, and ignoramuses tell the woman, 'I'd stop whining and put up with it if there's money'.

I never got any of the money because I was the scapegoated child, singled out for all kinds of abuse. My siblings would join in by taunting me about the abuse because they'd been conditioned to believe that that's was a normal family dynamic. We are no longer on speaking terms because they still can't shake that way of thinking. Some admit that it was wrong to treat me like that, but ceased contact, fearing that others might find out; particularly, one of my step brothers who is now the CEO of a major, well known, sporting organisation in Australia. He is more concerned about his precious reputation than integrity.

Every other family member would gather around the alpha abuser and protect them, not the victim (me). If I ever spoke out or tried to defend myself, I would be gaslighted or punished further. I was left nothing in any will or estate, to just further cement the idea in everyone's minds that I was worthless. I couldn't afford a solicitor to challenge it. My siblings were allowed to go to university and get good jobs. I was made to drop out and work for family without payment. If I questioned it, I'd get beaten or more sexual abuse.

I was raped by a cop in August 1992, who offered me a lift home, which resulted in pregnancy. My family called me a 'slut', called me 'stupid', told me I'd embarrassed the family, and offered me no support. It's almost 30 years since that happened and 30 years of bullying and harrassment by police ever since. I needed help from police in relation to a stalker (not an ex, everyone assumes) recently, police saw who I am - on their system, their bullshit starts again. 10 years ago, and my family were aware, police even confiscated my privately owned, legally owned, house, without charge, because I'd tried, again, to report the rape.

I've had relationships were it turned out they only wanted me because they thought I had money. They'd start bitching at me, 'You don't know what it's like (to suffer)'. Then they'd bash me for it.

So, yeah, "privileged" doesn't always mean life is smooth and nothing can harm you. My wealthy siblings even know I have a degenerative disability and do nothing to help or support me.

 

[Euthanza]

Now, I am not saying that being born into a life of privileged doesn't have its own set of problems, but coming from a stable family, in a good community with great friends is a brilliant start in life. I didn't have any of that growing up and it has definitely added to my mental problems and suicidality. Anybody else feel similar?

I did, moved to another city couple times before, it felt great especially at the starting years then some problems arrived eventually in a blink of an eye and I realized I get stuck again and again. It's a paradox of "you can't change people around you but you can change people around you".

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I was raised with relative privilege… But my parents had weird fears around money… Due to a general ignorance around all things financial and life in general I've struggled with sporadic employment before inheriting a good chunk of money and then blowing through about half of it… Now I'm living hand to mouth my brain reduced to sludge… You can be dealt a pretty good hand and play it very badly…

 

[GentleJerk]

You'd think so, but funnily enough, all their kids usually end up on drugs.

Not the good kind of drugs either. I'm talking mad crack.

 

[27clubBRIAN]

Yeah yeah you're born privileged but you have to personally be active once you reach adulthood . It hit me like when I ended up living on Skid Row ,a place in US with third world living conditions. Pure American suffering

 

[DrWh033]

Normal mental stable parents with a job, no child abuse, food to eat, free healthcare and education should not be considered "privilege" but normal conditions.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Having "privileges" doesn't change anything mental going on. One can not compare internal to external. Depression is nondiscriminatory and doesn't give a shit what's going on or how good you have it. In some cases these "privileges" can even be the down fall. Like being pretty so you're constantly getting sexually hurt, because that's "fun" and "healthy"

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I agree. I'd add good looks to the list. It's definitely a better environment for a comfortable life and body. Not always, I get it, but stress from poverty, bullying, rejection, neglect, lack of stimulating activities and hobbies, etc. works against the brain during development.

100% agree. None of this helps in the situation

 

[niki wonoto]

I was born from quite a 'privileged' family, yet here I am, still heavily depressed & suicidal.

Contrary to the popular opinion, privilege doesn't always mean that life will be okay. Well maybe yes for some people, but definitely not for everyone who is 'privileged' enough.

Also, privilege comes in a LOT other factors too, other than just being rich & good-looking (which at this point have become a boring cliche).
eg: connections, and then there are circumstances factor too. You can be privileged for example in living from a well-off family background, and even good-looking, but still, if you are not born in the 'right' circumstances, you can STILL basically f*cked-up your life in the end.

So it's not as simple as people often/always think or assume.

Easiest examples are probably all those celebrities who still ctb in the end anyway, eg: Chester Bennington (Linkin Park) always come in my mind. I mean, what 'privilege' that they don't have? Yet they still ctb (suicide) anyway.

In my case personally, there is also what's called the "existential depression" (or existential crisis). This one is often hugely underestimated, and people still don't understand much about it. It basically kills any motivation to live, as I see life is just meaningless & pointless.

In fact, here in my country (Indonesia), there are actually a LOT of poor (& not good-looking obviously) people, yet they're still mostly HAPPY living their lives everyday (mostly due to religions, spirituality, or just generally simple-minded thinking eg: being grateful, etc etc etc).

So it's not that black and white. Life is more complicated than what people often/always think/assume.

 

[gimzero]

Life is so injustice that its like we choose lives like lotery.

 

[makethepainstop]

For those of you here who were abused and were living a lavish lifestyle, I'm sorry, I know that hurt. But y'all abuse happens in blue collar families. The difference is that you could have any material need met, anything material. Let's talk about wealthy, is wealth to you one million, five million.....in assets. Or as I rate wealth, a family with several limousines, several very large estates around the world, a family with its own commercial sized aircraft, helicopters, their own private security,........now to me that is wealth. Lord God please forgive me but if could reincarnate into a family like that......

 

[Brokensaddle]

Now, I am not saying that being born into a life of privileged doesn't have its own set of problems, but coming from a stable family, in a good community with great friends is a brilliant start in life. I didn't have any of that growing up and it has definitely added to my mental problems and suicidality. Anybody else feel similar?

100% agree
Someone I know who went to private schools hated his job for many year. Money doesn't buy you happiness just gives you the chance to be happy but multiply opportunity.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Money doesn't buy you happiness

Not money, not a job, sometimes not even a family or friends.

 

[Sadboyspecimen]

Being privileged made me into a really crappy person. I didn't grow up rich by any means, but where I lived my family was definitely more well off than some families. My mom always wanted to buy us name brand clothes. I hated it bc other kids in school would act like I thought I was better than them. I didn't think that way though. I always had low self esteem from the time I was in kindergarten. I became so self conscious of the fact that people thought about me this way though. I wouldn't wear the clothes my mom bought, I'd just wear hand me downs unless there weren't any clean. I asked my family not to buy me these clothes anymore. It did not matter one bit though. The other kids at school had made up their mind about me. I developed a deep hatred for people for it. Kind a felt cheated that everyone thought I was a snob just bc of my family's money. So I started making fun of people anytime they had something I didn't, just so they could see what it's like to feel the way they made me feel. Most people took it gracefully though and I ended up looking like a dumb asshole. I disconnected myself from my family in an effort to "clear my name" so to speak. I started smoking weed daily and made it my whole personality bc I felt like that way there would be no chance of someone seeing me as above other people. Nobody bought into this. My dumb brain was just flooded with emotional distress and immaturity and somehow rationalized this delusion. The whole time that I was trying to avoid being seen as a dumb snob, I kinda just ended up being a dumb snob. Only now I've ruined my relationship with my family as well as any and all social circles. It's such an embarrassing story to have to tell. I wish I would have just been humble instead of getting so mad. Probably would have saved my life.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Being privileged made me into a really crappy person. I didn't grow up rich by any means, but where I lived my family was definitely more well off than some families. My mom always wanted to buy us name brand clothes. I hated it bc other kids in school would act like I thought I was better than them. I didn't think that way though. I always had low self esteem from the time I was in kindergarten. I became so self conscious of the fact that people thought about me this way though. I wouldn't wear the clothes my mom bought, I'd just wear hand me downs unless there weren't any clean. I asked my family not to buy me these clothes anymore. It did not matter one bit though. The other kids at school had made up their mind about me. I developed a deep hatred for people for it. Kind a felt cheated that everyone thought I was a snob just bc of my family's money. So I started making fun of people anytime they had something I didn't, just so they could see what it's like to feel the way they made me feel. Most people took it gracefully though and I ended up looking like a dumb asshole. I disconnected myself from my family in an effort to "clear my name" so to speak. I started smoking weed daily and made it my whole personality bc I felt like that way there would be no chance of someone seeing me as above other people. Nobody bought into this. My dumb brain was just flooded with emotional distress and immaturity and somehow rationalized this delusion. The whole time that I was trying to avoid being seen as a dumb snob, I kinda just ended up being a dumb snob. Only now I've ruined my relationship with my family as well as any and all social circles. It's such an embarrassing story to have to tell. I wish I would have just been humble instead of getting so mad. Probably would have saved my life.

a person should be judged by THEIR actions, not anyone else's. they also shouldnt be judged by what they wear, typically thats not optional, especially as a child

 

[eternapeace]

I was born from quite a 'privileged' family, yet here I am, still heavily depressed & suicidal.

Contrary to the popular opinion, privilege doesn't always mean that life will be okay. Well maybe yes for some people, but definitely not for everyone who is 'privileged' enough.

Also, privilege comes in a LOT other factors too, other than just being rich & good-looking (which at this point have become a boring cliche).
eg: connections, and then there are circumstances factor too. You can be privileged for example in living from a well-off family background, and even good-looking, but still, if you are not born in the 'right' circumstances, you can STILL basically f*cked-up your life in the end.

So it's not as simple as people often/always think or assume.

Easiest examples are probably all those celebrities who still ctb in the end anyway, eg: Chester Bennington (Linkin Park) always come in my mind. I mean, what 'privilege' that they don't have? Yet they still ctb (suicide) anyway.

In my case personally, there is also what's called the "existential depression" (or existential crisis). This one is often hugely underestimated, and people still don't understand much about it. It basically kills any motivation to live, as I see life is just meaningless & pointless.

In fact, here in my country (Indonesia), there are actually a LOT of poor (& not good-looking obviously) people, yet they're still mostly HAPPY living their lives everyday (mostly due to religions, spirituality, or just generally simple-minded thinking eg: being grateful, etc etc etc).

So it's not that black and white. Life is more complicated than what people often/always think/assume.

Being simple-minded is definitely the greatest privilege. Being able to live in the moment and not dwell on the past or future or existential thoughts allows for max happiness.

Being privileged made me into a really crappy person. I didn't grow up rich by any means, but where I lived my family was definitely more well off than some families. My mom always wanted to buy us name brand clothes. I hated it bc other kids in school would act like I thought I was better than them. I didn't think that way though. I always had low self esteem from the time I was in kindergarten. I became so self conscious of the fact that people thought about me this way though. I wouldn't wear the clothes my mom bought, I'd just wear hand me downs unless there weren't any clean. I asked my family not to buy me these clothes anymore. It did not matter one bit though. The other kids at school had made up their mind about me. I developed a deep hatred for people for it. Kind a felt cheated that everyone thought I was a snob just bc of my family's money. So I started making fun of people anytime they had something I didn't, just so they could see what it's like to feel the way they made me feel. Most people took it gracefully though and I ended up looking like a dumb asshole. I disconnected myself from my family in an effort to "clear my name" so to speak. I started smoking weed daily and made it my whole personality bc I felt like that way there would be no chance of someone seeing me as above other people. Nobody bought into this. My dumb brain was just flooded with emotional distress and immaturity and somehow rationalized this delusion. The whole time that I was trying to avoid being seen as a dumb snob, I kinda just ended up being a dumb snob. Only now I've ruined my relationship with my family as well as any and all social circles. It's such an embarrassing story to have to tell. I wish I would have just been humble instead of getting so mad. Probably would have saved my life.

Man this resonates with me so much. I grew up privileged, but on the other hand I knew I was simply fortunate to be dealt a strong hand and never despised anybody for having less, even if they might hate me/be jealous of me for having more...

This is part of why I've been depressed as well. Guilt for having had a strong hand and not having played it well. Guilt that other people suffer in ways I never had to. Knowing that many people who did not grow up privileged will invalidate my reasons for being depressed and suicidal ideations ("you should be grateful in life/you should be happy because at least you have a job, you have money, you don't have a broken family, etc").

 

[Sad_Sack]

Normal mental stable parents with a job, no child abuse, food to eat, free healthcare and education should not be considered "privilege" but normal conditions.

Free good quality healthcare, food and education should be given to everyone and could be. Sadly good parents can not be guaranteed.

 

[IfyouareamanWinston]

Everyday I pray to not wake up in poverty again and if that is not possible I pray to simply not wake up at all. There are other issues sure but money would allow me to actually deal with them and not suffer so much that I wish to die. For someone else they have financial security but suffer ptsd/ trauma or intense regret (which can cause ptsd) etc. so they cannot heal as I could if I was given their financial situation.

Yes if you have well off parent that mentally or physically abuse you then that is it own hell too. Growing up with the support you need to make it in the world is huge and fundamental. When people say "No I was rich and look at me I'm fucked up" They also had struggles that come from neglect and abuse so they discount how much finances is a base level need because to them they always had that puzzle piece and take it for granted. Just the same way that someone with supportive parents can never understand how fundamentally disadvantage someone from a broken home truly is or how it might feel to view yourself through that lens. They have their own struggles and they only see their own suffering as truly valid. The world is not a fair playing field and it is disingenuous to say that anyone's privileges' override the horror of this world however that also does not take away from the injustices and unfairness of poverty/abuse/neglect that someone else suffered.

Being simple-minded is definitely the greatest privilege. Being able to live in the moment and not dwell on the past or future or existential thoughts allows for max happiness.

I wish I could be dumb as a rock, honestly if I have to live so averagely I would rather be ignorant of it all then know.

 

[Obliviate]

Oh hell yeah. This society is cruel and malicious if you are not privileged in some form

 

[Traveler VII]

Being simple-minded is definitely the greatest privilege. Being able to live in the moment and not dwell on the past or future or existential thoughts allows for max happiness.

Man this resonates with me so much. I grew up privileged, but on the other hand I knew I was simply fortunate to be dealt a strong hand and never despised anybody for having less, even if they might hate me/be jealous of me for having more...

This is part of why I've been depressed as well. Guilt for having had a strong hand and not having played it well. Guilt that other people suffer in ways I never had to. Knowing that many people who did not grow up privileged will invalidate my reasons for being depressed and suicidal ideations ("you should be grateful in life/you should be happy because at least you have a job, you have money, you don't have a broken family, etc").

Each of us bears secret burdens...

In fact, here in my country (Indonesia), there are actually a LOT of poor (& not good-looking obviously)

About that...

Genetics, not finances, determine appearance.

Looks are typically subjective; a person lacking material wealth could still be considered quite beautiful.

 

[ts0hill]

Depends. I went to a private school growing up where I underwent severe mental abuse from the school (strict religion.. things like conversion therapy and speaking in tongues went on at that school) and people there and I believe that's where I got a lot of problems. My parents had money but they are not great parents were abusive at times. I would have done anything to have gone to the "normal"public school in my neighborhood that all the neighbors kids went to and been born into a low class family if that meant a healthy mind. In my opinion I wasn't privileged

Now money I think does make one's life better but someone can still be depressed with it.

For example if your homeless you need money for a certain baseline happiness like food and shelter. But after you are comfortable I don't think it increases your happiness at all

 

[SexyIncél]

I have privileges & oppressions:

• My privileges give me more chances to overcome the oppressions
• My privileges just barely saved my ass against my oppressions. When I was 4 days from suicide
• My life would be better if I had more privileges, or less oppressions

 

[NoLightRemains]

I am very aware of the fact that if circumstances were different and I did not have a supportive family, I would not be alive right now. Being disabled has forced me to lean on the social support of my family, who without their help, I would quickly drain all of my finances and go homeless.

I STILL want to ctb, even with their support though. It does feel bad to have a lot of things go right for you, but I just want to throw it all away anyways.

 

[HoneyandGlass]

I come from a privileged wealthy background. It isn't as great as some may think. I suffered abuse of all forms and never felt like i fitted anywhere. I've also experienced homelessness, no job or money as I refused handout from parents. Being with pretty much nothing is what taught me the most. Sometimes a privileged and wealthy background can lead to extreme loneliness due to not really knowing if people want to hang around because they like you or because they like your bank account.

 

[SarRy]

Wealth begets wealth. The confidence that comes from being secure in life leads to more opportunities. Being safe and secure can be great for mental health. Yeah, rich families can be dysfunctional, but at least they have more of an option of being stable.

If all the poor people died and weren't around to be workers for the rich, what would they do?

 

[makethepainstop]

Well there are degrees of privilege, if you look. Being chauffeured in a Cadillac limousine engenders an absolute state of ecstacy in me. I just can't help it. Wealth, I mean real wealth,(hundreds of millions or billions), that is wealth. Imagine being able to fly any where in the world, whenever you wanted.There have been movie stars and singers who cry about being sexually abused as young stars, by producers and managers. There have been very wealthy families where the dad did kinky things to his sons,(see the Melendez or Mendez bros). Kurt Cobain had some of what I want, blond, blue and rich,yet he took himself out. I could just scream at God for that one. "YOU GAVE KURT what I wanted!" He couldn't handle it, please God do it to me in my next life, I mean like damn, I couldn't have that?! Same with being a child actor or rock star. Let each if you who see my words this day testify before god when you ctb, that I under my site name of majethepainstop, I swear upon my very soul, I would accept sex abuse as long as I can reincarnate into a wealthy family, and be an actor or rock star. I'm sorry if that is offensive,but I love wealth, as a saint loves Christ. As long as my abusers don't do permanent physical damage, leave marks or cause bleeding, I will handle it. Rich rant over.

 

[actual_fox]

Being privileged made me into a really crappy person. I didn't grow up rich by any means, but where I lived my family was definitely more well off than some families. My mom always wanted to buy us name brand clothes. I hated it bc other kids in school would act like I thought I was better than them. I didn't think that way though. I always had low self esteem from the time I was in kindergarten. I became so self conscious of the fact that people thought about me this way though. I wouldn't wear the clothes my mom bought, I'd just wear hand me downs unless there weren't any clean. I asked my family not to buy me these clothes anymore. It did not matter one bit though. The other kids at school had made up their mind about me. I developed a deep hatred for people for it. Kind a felt cheated that everyone thought I was a snob just bc of my family's money. So I started making fun of people anytime they had something I didn't, just so they could see what it's like to feel the way they made me feel. Most people took it gracefully though and I ended up looking like a dumb asshole. I disconnected myself from my family in an effort to "clear my name" so to speak. I started smoking weed daily and made it my whole personality bc I felt like that way there would be no chance of someone seeing me as above other people. Nobody bought into this. My dumb brain was just flooded with emotional distress and immaturity and somehow rationalized this delusion. The whole time that I was trying to avoid being seen as a dumb snob, I kinda just ended up being a dumb snob. Only now I've ruined my relationship with my family as well as any and all social circles. It's such an embarrassing story to have to tell. I wish I would have just been humble instead of getting so mad. Probably would have saved my life.

There is so much of your family and friends in this. But we are product of our environment when we are just kids. This and genes. Being from rich family when nobody likes you and standing out is just other reason for others to alienate you. There always has to be some type of "other" for the group to be cohesive. Our and other.