Venting Price for not taking my life

[conveniently_dead]

I've always understood that by choosing to cbt, you are paying a price to endure that moment of suffering to be released from this life.

It's by no means easy as we know. But one thing that I'm come to realize is there can be a devastating price for failing to end your life.

Everything that drives us to want to die. The accumation of all these horrible things that drive us to suicide just keep compounding.

You find yourself waking up everyday regretting not taking your life. Thinking how you failed yourself by not doing what so clearly had to be done.

 

[Return2themoonlight]

Story of my life summed up perfectly

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

I relate to this really hard. I hope we both find a way out, whatever that entails.

 

[tappingout91]

This is me, deeply. I desperately want to ctb and I hate that it is such a difficult leap and that my survival instinct is still so strong. I just want to go.

 

[Chronicoverwhelm]

100 % true for me. Devastating price indeed.

 

[cosmic-freedom]

I am gearing up and practicing everyday,doing trial runs and accessing what I feel during that time.I am preparing myself,thinking of ctb like a grand event I must prepare for.They are baby steps,but Death and I will find each other soon enough.