Discussion Pretend?

[Obliviate]

I've been thinking of ways to make CTB easier. Sometimes what I do is pretend that I'm already in my senior years and terminally sick and that my time is coming....it just makes it easier...that the life I lived already is enough. Very sad.

Side note: This is no offense/disrespect to people who are actually terminally or greatly sick/old, I respect that you have even lived this long and gonr through so much.

 

[almaranthine]

What gives me trouble is imagining what my relatives will have to deal with after I'm gone... like sorting through my belongings and debts and what not. I try to imagine a scenario in which they have little to nothing to get rid of, in that I cleaned up my little apartment and donated clothes, art supplies, and whatever else someone might find useful. Actually doing this in reality is difficult for me to face, because if I fail and had to continue life for whatever amount of time I would have quite literally nothing left. Idk what to do honestly.

 

[Obliviate]

What gives me trouble is imagining what my relatives will have to deal with after I'm gone... like sorting through my belongings and debts and what not. I try to imagine a scenario in which they have little to nothing to get rid of, in that I cleaned up my little apartment and donated clothes, art supplies, and whatever else someone might find useful. Actually doing this in reality is difficult for me to face, because if I fail and had to continue life for whatever amount of time I would have quite literally nothing left. Idk what to do honestly.

I get it, I try not to think about how my body will be discovered, people finding out, my stuff etc etc bcause I'll be in heaven happy and at peace. This is the problem for the ones who have done me wrong.

 

[almaranthine]

I get it, I try not to think about how my body will be discovered, people finding out, my stuff etc etc bcause I'll be in heaven happy and at peace. This is the problem for the ones who have done me wrong.

I get that perspective for sure. My family have helped me in my life but also done me wrong considerably... so idk how to really feel about them. I guess I just want my death to be as easy to physically deal with as possible. I like to imagine a scenario in which I could kill myself and my death isn't judged a suicide so they never know. I have no way of accomplishing this though.

 

[Obliviate]

I get that perspective for sure. My family have helped me in my life but also done me wrong considerably... so idk how to really feel about them. I guess I just want my death to be as easy to physically deal with as possible. I like to imagine a scenario in which I could kill myself and my death isn't judged a suicide so they never know. I have no way of accomplishing this though.

Well in some inert gas with the exit bag, it's very difficult to find out how the person died, that is if there is another person who will help take the bag off and get rid of the cylinder

 

[FuneralCry]

Old age sounds so horrifying to me. The human life expectancy is far too long these days. But it's understandable wanting to find ways to make ctb easier for you. Finally being free from this world can certainly not be easy.