Help Preparing to grow up, what should I look/watch out for In my 30’s+ and beyond

[°Celsuis_Caesar]

I suppose CTB is a option but I'm only 20 with minor depression/bi-polar and that's all, with that said If I don't manage to CTB what things in life should I watch out for, I. E. Mistakes to avoid unwanted disaster (what should I know about being an adult these days)

Sorry if this is off-topic, just feeling a tad hopeful today

 

[LADY007]

I suppose CTB is a option but I'm only 20 with minor depression/bi-polar and that's all, with that said If I don't manage to CTB what things in life should I watch out for, I. E. Mistakes to avoid unwanted disaster (what should I know about being an adult these days)

Sorry if this is off-topic, just feeling a tad hopeful today

Not saving enough money.

 

[jimmy7754]

Be strict with yourself. No irrational decisions. Try not to make any colossal mistakes that alter your whole life like a glacier.

 

[speck]

I suppose CTB is a option but I'm only 20 with minor depression/bi-polar and that's all, with that said If I don't manage to CTB what things in life should I watch out for, I. E. Mistakes to avoid unwanted disaster (what should I know about being an adult these days)

Sorry if this is off-topic, just feeling a tad hopeful today

Narcissists.

 

[Famous Last Words]

Narcissists.

I was going to post this but you beat me to it.

Op, don't go through life thinking the worst in people - most people are good people who are coming from a good, albeit sometimes misguided, place.

But then there are narcissists who exist to suck the life out of you and then blame you for it. They disguise themselves as awesome and lovely people until you are invested and then they will entangle you in their nonsense and inflict their seemingly infinite capacity for pain, conflict and toxicity onto you. I would go as far as to say that these people are responsible for all of the world's problems.

The key here is to educate yourself about narcissism and recognise it in people before it causes you pain. People who unsure of themselves and just want to be loved and liked are particularly vulnerable to the charms of these people.

Perhaps do some self-reflecting as well and address any narcissistic tendencies in yourself, if you have them. It's a scale, just like anything else. Life as a narcissist is a really shallow and miserable one and they are incapable of ever being happy or fulfilled. Life is an exercise in trying to fill a void within themselves by extracting life from other people but the void can never be filled, leading to a life of perpetual emptiness.

 

[Talvikki]

Ik wil dat CTB een optie is, maar ik ben pas 20 met een lichte depressie/bipolair en dat is alles, dat gezegd hebbende. (wat moet ik weten over volwassen zijn tegenwoordig)

Sorry als dit off-topic is,

I Don't know. i'm sorry I'm drunk. I wish you the best!

 

[Lost Magic]

I can't answer that because I am not you and you are not me. However, my 30's have been an absolute nightmare. Probably the worst decade of my life so far.

 

[speck]

I was going to post this but you beat me to it.

Op, don't go through life thinking the worst in people - most people are good people who are coming from a good, albeit sometimes misguided, place.

But then there are narcissists who exist to suck the life out of you and then blame you for it. They disguise themselves as awesome and lovely people until you are invested and then they will entangle you in their nonsense and inflict their seemingly infinite capacity for pain, conflict and toxicity onto you. I would go as far as to say that these people are responsible for all of the world's problems.

The key here is to educate yourself about narcissism and recognise it in people before it causes you pain. People who unsure of themselves and just want to be loved and liked are particularly vulnerable to the charms of these people.

Perhaps do some self-reflecting as well and address any narcissistic tendencies in yourself, if you have them. It's a scale, just like anything else. Life as a narcissist is a really shallow and miserable one and they are incapable of ever being happy or fulfilled. Life is an exercise in trying to fill a void within themselves by extracting life from other people but the void can never be filled, leading to a life of perpetual emptiness.

100%- in my experience, most suicidal people are lonely, isolated, and vulnerable. You are a perfect target for someone who will build you up and tear you down- Beware!

 

[CiproKilledMe]

Beware of doctors and their arsenal of Rx drugs.

 

[Depressed Cat]

I suppose CTB is a option but I'm only 20 with minor depression/bi-polar and that's all, with that said If I don't manage to CTB what things in life should I watch out for, I. E. Mistakes to avoid unwanted disaster (what should I know about being an adult these days)

Sorry if this is off-topic, just feeling a tad hopeful today

Don't be lulled into thinking that depression won't occur again once you emerge out of a depressive phase. It will be back, so be prepared for it.

I wish you the best!

 

[NSA]

Save your money and never let anyone know how much you have.
Don't fall into "lifestyle" bullshit, just live within your means however you want.
Don't be ashamed or afraid to apply for government or other charity assistance, food banks, etc if you need it. It's there to use.
Credit cards are good for building a good credit score, but always treat them like cash. Never charge what you don't already have in the bank.
Learn what scams look like and never believe anything that sounds too good to be true. Vett everything. As that old tv show CSI used to say, " Trust, but Verify". You may miss a few genuine opportunities by being cautious, but that beats losing everything you own.

There's nothing special about being an adult. Eat, sleep, pay bills. Hobbies if you can afford them. Fnd ways to get money. Only now everyone expects you to do it "all by yourself". You do get to sign your own paperwork and have the legal right to tell your parents to fuck off if you want, but there's not much more to it than that, in my experience anyway. You make your own meaning for it all.

 

[headwood]

Do not, under any circumstances, date or become further involved with a single parent whose ex is still in the picture and has partial custody of the children.

 

[jimmy7754]

Do not, under any circumstances, date or become further involved with a single parent whose ex is still in the picture and has partial custody of the children.

You know I fell for this one and it was a nightmare.

 

[Ashu]

Love and work: get as much of them as you can, as early as you can.

 

[Crazy4u]

try to live a simple life and save money if you can. Avoid drama, negativity and toxic situations whenever you can. Take care of your health and your life skills. Good luck!!

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Not saving enough money.

Saving for what? What will the money be worth for the poster ? What is money worth when the temperature rises globally by 3 degrees or more C?

 

[LivingHellonearth]

Don't play around people, don't make jokes about them, that literally cost my life.

 

[CiproKilledMe]

Cheesy yet still 100% true:

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Make and save $

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Make and save $

Over what time frame?

You seriously going to suggest to a young poster to save for a mythical "retirement" that is very likely to be derailed by uncontrolled climate chaos ?

The make part almost anyone could agree with but when talking about saving you need to talk about over what time frame. Telling a 20 year old today to save for retirement might be bad advice given that most energy system forecasters predict the oil will be long gone before they retire

 

[Pluto]

Saving for what? What will the money be worth for the poster ? What is money worth when the temperature rises globally by 3 degrees or more C?

There are only 2 types of financial outlays: things that make money permanently disappear (holidays, electronics, bills, rent, car repairs) and things that generally increase in value (houses, index funds, desirable collector items, gold, etc.). It's worth understanding and applying this basic concept early. It does not mean never do anything fun, but keeping the long-term issues in mind is something I regret not starting earlier.

In my 20s, I had pondered buying small, cheap blocks of empty land in remote towns, and that would have been a great way to get started on a long-term investment from a young age. Instead, I procrastinated and then I suddenly freaked out when I was over 30, I have lived like a dog ever since, living ultra cheaply, cutting every corner and trying to pay off my house in the purported name of freedom.

Regarding ecological issues, having a roof over one's head is quite desirable in heatwaves and other extreme climates, or times of economic chaos. From a less selfish perspective, a lot of Australia's carbon emissions are caused by burning coal, so I'm glad to be a part of the solution by having solar panels on the house that produce far more energy than I consume, exporting most of their production back into the grid.

Back on topic, the most devastating thing that can happen to a man is to get married and then divorced, losing all possessions in the process, along with any kids. I heard that there is a dedicated forum called 'divorced dads' and there is a very high suicide rate for that demographic. Remember that a lot of women have experienced or witnessed horrible treatment by men in the past. So in addition to having the legal right to leave an ex-husband in the ruins of homelessness, they feel that they have grounds for vengeance. I don't know exactly how to prevent this, but it is something I saw happen all the time when I was working alongside older men. You have been warned.

Do not, under any circumstances, date or become further involved with a single parent whose ex is still in the picture and has partial custody of the children.

I'd be curious to learn more about why you say this. In my age 40+ group, the majority of single people seem to be in that category.

 

[achilles]

Saving for what? What will the money be worth for the poster ? What is money worth when the temperature rises globally by 3 degrees or more C?

Having more resources at your disposal will improve your ability to mitigate how much personal suffering you experience as a result of ANY crisis you have to deal with. Don't listen to people who try to tell you things will get so bad you need not worry about them getting worse. It can always get worse. You cannot buy happiness, but money will help you avoid misery.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Having more resources at your disposal will improve your ability to mitigate how much personal suffering you experience as a result of ANY crisis you have to deal with. Don't listen to people who try to tell you things will get so bad you need not worry about them getting worse. It can always get worse. You cannot buy happiness, but money will help you avoid misery.

Does money have value in a world where food does not grow ?

Not all crises are fixable or temporary as humans have come to assume .

I seriously suggest to young people today that they view money differently. We are living in an inflationary world now because most people realize this is probably as good as it gets and they better spend before the resources deplete .

 

[CiproKilledMe]

I regret having worked and saved as much as I did. I sold my youth (and my prime, healthy years) for money which now sits in a bank account, unused, where it is being legally stolen by inflation more and more each month. I always worked and saved hard to ensure my future would be a good one. Only one problem with this plan: It assumed I had a future. It turns out I did not. My future was taken from me over a decade ago now after I was maimed by an FDA-approved antibiotic, taken exactly as prescribed by my doctor. I am now 100% bedridden and cannot do anything out in the world that I once dreamed of doing. All that money I'd saved for my mythical future life: Useless now. You can only want or need so much when you live in a bed. So my point is: Be careful. Don't put all of your eggs in one basket (the 'today' nor the 'future' basket). Money means nothing if you don't have your health. Stroll through a graveyard and ask the people buried there how much they value money. If I had it all to do over again I would have worked the bare minimum to pay my bills and get by and then simply enjoyed greater free time while I still had it. Hindsight is 20/20 of course. Who knows--perhaps you'll be one of the rare ones who manages to avoid all of life's invisible pitfalls and makes it to the ripe old age of 100 with your health still intact whilst working a job you actually love (and therefore don't feel as though you're selling your soul to the devil every day as you drudge to work). Nobody knows what their future holds. Just be careful with all the advice telling you to make money and work your #1 priority in life...that's all I'm saying. I did that and I regret it. Granted, my story is not typical--but I know what it's like to live with the regret of wasting my one and only life on something that ultimately didn't matter. Living with regret sucks. Experiences > Money

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

I regret having worked and saved as much as I did. I sold my youth (and my prime, healthy years) for money which now sits in a bank account, unused, where it is being legally stolen by inflation more and more each month. I always worked and saved hard to ensure my future would be a good one. Only one problem with this plan: It assumed I had a future. It turns out I did not. My future was taken from me over a decade ago now after I was maimed by an FDA-approved antibiotic, taken exactly as prescribed by my doctor. I am now 100% bedridden and cannot do anything out in the world that I once dreamed of doing. All that money I'd saved for my mythical future life: Useless now. You can only want or need so much when you live in a bed. So my point is: Be careful. Don't put all of your eggs in one basket (the 'today' nor the 'future' basket). Money means nothing if you don't have your health. Stroll through a graveyard and ask the people buried there how much they value money. If I had it all to do over again I would have worked the bare minimum to pay my bills and get by and then simply enjoyed greater free time while I still had it. Hindsight is 20/20 of course. Who knows--perhaps you'll be one of the rare ones who manages to avoid all of life's invisible pitfalls and makes it to the ripe old age of 100 with your health still intact whilst working a job you actually love (and therefore don't feel as though you're selling your soul to the devil every day as you drudge to work). Nobody knows what their future holds. Just be careful with all the advice telling you to make money and work your #1 priority in life...that's all I'm saying. I did that and I regret it. Granted, my story is not typical--but I know what it's like to live with the regret of wasting my one and only life on something that ultimately didn't matter. Living with regret sucks. Experiences > Money

Great post and I hope your advice can be valuable to the youth !

Your government is lying to you ! If you are in your 20s odds are Your pension will not be there as the civilizational paradigm that enables nonsense like "pensions" will no longer exist

The United States invaded and occupied an entire nation to get oil to prop up its own social security system

Fun fact : there are limited nations in the world you can invade to get more oil.

What do you think happens to pensions when the menu of nations to invade is exhausted ?

 

[Superdeterminist]

I regret having worked and saved as much as I did. I sold my youth (and my prime, healthy years) for money which now sits in a bank account, unused, where it is being legally stolen by inflation more and more each month. I always worked and saved hard to ensure my future would be a good one. Only one problem with this plan: It assumed I had a future. It turns out I did not. My future was taken from me over a decade ago now after I was maimed by an FDA-approved antibiotic, taken exactly as prescribed by my doctor. I am now 100% bedridden and cannot do anything out in the world that I once dreamed of doing. All that money I'd saved for my mythical future life: Useless now. You can only want or need so much when you live in a bed. So my point is: Be careful. Don't put all of your eggs in one basket (the 'today' nor the 'future' basket). Money means nothing if you don't have your health. Stroll through a graveyard and ask the people buried there how much they value money. If I had it all to do over again I would have worked the bare minimum to pay my bills and get by and then simply enjoyed greater free time while I still had it. Hindsight is 20/20 of course. Who knows--perhaps you'll be one of the rare ones who manages to avoid all of life's invisible pitfalls and makes it to the ripe old age of 100 with your health still intact whilst working a job you actually love (and therefore don't feel as though you're selling your soul to the devil every day as you drudge to work). Nobody knows what their future holds. Just be careful with all the advice telling you to make money and work your #1 priority in life...that's all I'm saying. I did that and I regret it. Granted, my story is not typical--but I know what it's like to live with the regret of wasting my one and only life on something that ultimately didn't matter. Living with regret sucks. Experiences > Money

Is there a name for the long term condition you have suffered due to cipro? Are docs aware of it?

 

[balshoi77]

I was going to post this but you beat me to it.

Op, don't go through life thinking the worst in people - most people are good people who are coming from a good, albeit sometimes misguided, place.

But then there are narcissists who exist to suck the life out of you and then blame you for it. They disguise themselves as awesome and lovely people until you are invested and then they will entangle you in their nonsense and inflict their seemingly infinite capacity for pain, conflict and toxicity onto you. I would go as far as to say that these people are responsible for all of the world's problems.

The key here is to educate yourself about narcissism and recognise it in people before it causes you pain. People who unsure of themselves and just want to be loved and liked are particularly vulnerable to the charms of these people.

Perhaps do some self-reflecting as well and address any narcissistic tendencies in yourself, if you have them. It's a scale, just like anything else. Life as a narcissist is a really shallow and miserable one and they are incapable of ever being happy or fulfilled. Life is an exercise in trying to fill a void within themselves by extracting life from other people but the void can never be filled, leading to a life of perpetual emptiness.

Everyone is a narcissist god damnit.
Do you understand what narcissistism is?

It's simply just that these people you mention are traumatised people who got stuck in a developing age where narcissistic traits show most clearly. This is why. But we all inherit these traits since we were born.
These were just unlucky people who got bullied or assaulted in a young age and now they're stuck in a bad position.
Compassion is the right angle for these people. Not ostracizing.


Tips for OP:
Avoid all drugs at all cost.
Even from the so called psychiatric clinics.
All SSRI are harmful drugs. They can make you get bipolar disorder and a lot of other things.
But worst are the drugs on the street. They will kill you slowly or fast depending on what you take.

If you're going to take drugs , then do a lot of research and have respect for the drug.
Never take too much of anything.

But I would still advice to never touch drugs in the first place if you wanna have a chance at life without despair.

 

[CiproKilledMe]

Is there a name for the long term condition you have suffered due to cipro? Are docs aware of it?

They call it being "floxed" or "fluoroquinolone toxicity syndrome." The vast majority of doctors are completely ignorant about it...many deny it even exists. They're quick to prescribe this shit and then run for the hills once you've fallen victim to it. Definitely avoid the entire class of fluoroquinolone antibiotics if you at all value your health.

 

[Superdeterminist]

They call it being "floxed" or "fluoroquinolone toxicity syndrome." The vast majority of doctors are completely ignorant about it...many deny it even exists. They're quick to prescribe this shit and then run for the hills once you've fallen victim to it. Definitely avoid the entire class of fluoroquinolone antibiotics if you at all value your health.

That sounds horrible. It's awful to have your serious problems dismissed like that. Just an 'oops' and they just leave you to it. They need to talk more about this.

 

[Famous Last Words]

Everyone is a narcissist god damnit.
Do you understand what narcissistism is?

It's simply just that these people you mention are traumatised people who got stuck in a developing age where narcissistic traits show most clearly. This is why. But we all inherit these traits since we were born.
These were just unlucky people who got bullied or assaulted in a young age and now they're stuck in a bad position.
Compassion is the right angle for these people. Not ostracizing.


Tips for OP:
Avoid all drugs at all cost.
Even from the so called psychiatric clinics.
All SSRI are harmful drugs. They can make you get bipolar disorder and a lot of other things.
But worst are the drugs on the street. They will kill you slowly or fast depending on what you take.

If you're going to take drugs , then do a lot of research and have respect for the drug.
Never take too much of anything.

But I would still advice to never touch drugs in the first place if you wanna have a chance at life without despair.

Op, narcissism is a scale but not everyone takes this to a pathological level.

You can save yourself a lot of trouble in life by not becoming friends or having relationships with them or picking them as your roommates.

It's great to be compassionate towards these people because they certainly need it but you can't show compassion when you're stressed out, defensive and anxious. After a while, you'll have elevated stress hormones just from being around them and it's hard to show compassion when you're in this state.

Here's a video about what you should be looking out for