Help Preparing to grow up, what should I look/watch out for In my 30’s+ and beyond

[justsayin]

Cheesy yet still 100% true:

I can confirm that it's 100% true.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/words-of-wisdom.65869/

 

[Superdeterminist]

My view is that life is really too complicated to give advice. Everyone is in a unique situation and the future is too unpredictable to ever develop advice which will guarantee to be useful rather than harmful.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

I suppose CTB is a option but I'm only 20 with minor depression/bi-polar and that's all, with that said If I don't manage to CTB what things in life should I watch out for, I. E. Mistakes to avoid unwanted disaster (what should I know about being an adult these days)

Sorry if this is off-topic, just feeling a tad hopeful today

Follow what is most meaningful to you - you'll put the most amount of effort and enthusiasm into whatever you love the most, and that will ensure you'll excel at whatever that thing is - do not do anything just for the money, prospects, benefits or great pension - you'll regret it like hell at 45 when you're getting up every day to do something you dislike, whilst you fantasize all day about what you wish you'd have pursued - if you have a dream that is based in reality i.e. you've already found you love to do something, it's extremely meaningful to you, and you're good at it, but you're struggling with the self-belief that YOU could actually do it, JUST GO FOR IT - you'll regret the things you didn't do way more than the things you did (within reason, obviously - don't end up in prison, etc...)

The number one thing people report regretting on their deathbed...

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

Nurse reveals the top five regrets people make on their deathbed

Source: DNA/May 12, 2014 For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special time

www.oldcolonyhospice.org

Imagine you're 80, on your deathbed - what things will you regret not doing? DO THEM!!!

"Live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now" - Victor Frankl

 

[CiproKilledMe]

do not do anything just for the money, prospects, benefits or great pension - you'll regret it like hell at 45 when you're getting up every day to do something you dislike, whilst you fantasize all day about what you wish you'd have pursued

So true. I chased money and found this out with a quickness. I'll never forget bitching about my mindless job to someone back in 2003 and he said to me, "Be careful--at some point in life you become your decisions." Scared the shit out of me because I knew I was making the wrong decisions yet I couldn't stop myself. Also in the end it wasn't really more money because I'd burn out, quit for a year, then go back again only to burn out after another year. Add up all that unpaid "burn out" time and I should've just found a job paying half as much that was actually bearable.

Fast-forward 20 years and I'm now an expert on regret. I could write a book on the subject. How Not to Live Your Life. Everything I did, do the opposite.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

So true. I chased money and found this out with a quickness. I'll never forget bitching about my mindless job to someone back in 2003 and he said to me, "Be careful--at some point in life you become your decisions." Scared the shit out of me because I knew I was making the wrong decisions yet I couldn't stop myself. Also in the end it wasn't really more money because I'd burn out, quit for a year, then go back again only to burn out after another year. Add up all that unpaid "burn out" time and I should've just found a job paying half as much that was actually bearable.

Fast-forward 20 years and I'm now an expert on regret. I could write a book on the subject. How Not to Live Your Life. Everything I did, do the opposite.

Same here - I got a job 2 years ago in healthcare, because of the 'great pension' and prospects. I hated every second of it, and developed my chronic pain during that period - maybe there's a connection. I've known for 15 years what was most meaningful to me, what I wanted to pursue, but I was too scared to go for it. I regret it more than anything, and I'm now lying on my bed in pain, unemployed, torturing myself about what I know I could've achieved, had I just listened to my conscience and just gone for it.

 

[Unicornsrnot4dislife]

Just do what makes you smile everyday. Don't waste anything or anytime on things that make you sad

 

[nohopeleft69]

I can't answer that because I am not you and you are not me. However, my 30's have been an absolute nightmare. Probably the worst decade of my life so far.

Same. Everything went to shit for me after 30

 

[fight_club]

Start building credit as soon as you can (annoying and not something I support morally, but unfortunately necessary).

Establish a primary care provider, dentist, and therapist/psychiatrist as needed.

Put 10% of each paycheck into a savings account.

Put aside at least 50 dollars a month for fun. Treat yourself. Seriously, it's important.

Buy a regeant test kit if you're going to do drugs...make sure you're getting what you wanted, read up on all possible interactions, take the proper supplements, etc. And do the drugs if you want to! Drugs are fun!

If you qualify for EBT, rent assistance, or any other kind of financial assistance, get it! Maintain it!

Take night drives and blast music. Scream-sing at the top of your lungs.

If you have the means and want to adopt animals, do. Hide that shit from your landlord, most places won't find out or care (though I'd ask other residents to make sure).

Attend college if you have the means--not necessarily for the degree, though that's cool too, but to meet other folks your age. Hell, don't even attend if you don't want to, just show up on campus and hang out.

Prepare yourself that all relationships end. Even the most beautiful, enduring, healthy relationships come to and end. It's very rare that they last forever (though anything is possible!)

Be weird. Go to punk shows even if you hate that shit. Volunteer at a shelter. Go to clubs and get wasted. Hug your friends.

Save money, but remember that it exists to be spent.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Start building credit as soon as you can (annoying and not something I support morally, but unfortunately necessary).

Establish a primary care provider, dentist, and therapist/psychiatrist as needed.

Put 10% of each paycheck into a savings account.

Put aside at least 50 dollars a month for fun. Treat yourself. Seriously, it's important.

Buy a regeant test kit if you're going to do drugs...make sure you're getting what you wanted, read up on all possible interactions, take the proper supplements, etc. And do the drugs if you want to! Drugs are fun!

If you qualify for EBT, rent assistance, or any other kind of financial assistance, get it! Maintain it!

Take night drives and blast music. Scream-sing at the top of your lungs.

If you have the means and want to adopt animals, do. Hide that shit from your landlord, most places won't find out or care (though I'd ask other residents to make sure).

Attend college if you have the means--not necessarily for the degree, though that's cool too, but to meet other folks your age. Hell, don't even attend if you don't want to, just show up on campus and hang out.

Prepare yourself that all relationships end. Even the most beautiful, enduring, healthy relationships come to and end. It's very rare that they last forever (though anything is possible!)

Be weird. Go to punk shows even if you hate that shit. Volunteer at a shelter. Go to clubs and get wasted. Hug your friends.

Save money, but remember that it exists to be spent.

I like this post except I would say one thing :

All relationships do end. Humans die . All of them will end - fact .

This guys advice about credit is very important. One of the best kept secrets of life if you are American is that all middle and upper middle class people travel for free if they have good credit . You travel for flight tax and maybe hotel taxes owed and that is it.

The banks hand out miles and hotel points like candy.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Over what time frame?

You seriously going to suggest to a young poster to save for a mythical "retirement" that is very likely to be derailed by uncontrolled climate chaos ?

The make part almost anyone could agree with but when talking about saving you need to talk about over what time frame. Telling a 20 year old today to save for retirement might be bad advice given that most energy system forecasters predict the oil will be long gone before they retire

I was not talking about saving for retirement. My advice was to save your money and invest it either in real estate or equities, thereby earning $ off of your savings. As for myself, I had a substantial inheritance but I foolishly Passed up an opportunity to increase that chunk of money and create real financial independence. I figured there would be a larger pot of gold somewhere in the future but I was wrong. So long story short, if you can afford it try setting aside a little bit of extra money every month or so and invest it in stocks. And that your earliest opportunity buy real estate. Buy a duplex and rent out one of the apartments. Build your wealth. I did not and I regret it.

 

[Of The Universe]

Advice from George Harrison:
" Beware the thoughts that linger
Winding up inside your head..."

 

[RN12]

antidepressants. Don't touch them or you end up here again like me wanting to die because of disabling side effects.