Venting Postponing my suicide to July 20th

[RustedandWeathered]

I'm putting myself through more suffering because my worthless ass deserves it. Plus I will starve myself for a month or so before I kill myself. I'm gonna start cutting myself deeper again just to feel something other than this. I want to cut so deep that blood is dripping from the cuts. If I die from starving myself then oh fucking well. Knowing my ex friend wants me to die makes me feel like even more of a failure. I don't want anyone to mourn me. I want my family and "friends" to be happy that another horrible person is dead. I'm probably going to hell for what I've done. I feel like a stalker for trying to contact my ex friend again. I deserve death. I am a disgusting person. I have nothing and no one left. We have to move out by tomorrow evening. We're gonna be living in a motel for a little while and then move to a different trailer. I hate my life so much and I wish I could kill myself right now. But like I said I'm putting myself through more suffering. I truly deserve this..

 

[ak@]

I don't know what to say.

I feel sad for you that you're feeling so low. You don't deserve pain. I hope life would have been less harsh to you, and that it still can take an unexpected turn for the better.

 

[MollerPlesset]

Starving rarely works but you seem unstoppable. I'm sure you tried your best, within your conditions and abilities. I tried my best too, and I am a failure and hate my life so much as well. Maybe I actually died and I'm hell, is like every time I try to ctb I'm just trying to escape this hell but maybe I already did it. Good luck