• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
SatinSoul

SatinSoul

Technically innocent is the best kind of innocent.
Feb 6, 2026
73
It's been a 6-8 hours since i drank SN. Threw that nasty white foam up again quickly and passed out.

I am awake now and doing alright overall, however, when can i finally drink even a drop of water without instantly throwing it up again?

@Dante_ maybe you know more
 
  • Aww..
  • Hugs
Reactions: MMOSTHATED, Matchaaa, SleeplessAndSad and 5 others
I

inconclusivesorbet

On my way
Jan 28, 2026
99
How much sn did you drink? Have you tried eating mints
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: SatinSoul and Kamaainakupua
N

NoHorizon

A pig in a cage on antibiotics
Nov 22, 2022
413
I know this probably isn't what you want to hear but after a failed SN attempt you really should get medical attention. I would recommend going to your local hospital/ER so they can check you over and give you whatever you need. If you're unable to keep fluids down they might put you on a drip to help you recover more quickly.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: kunikuzushi, cyanidekitty, fadedghost and 9 others
Asya

Asya

See you at the curtain call.
Mar 17, 2026
180
I know this probably isn't what you want to hear but after a failed SN attempt you really should get medical attention. I would recommend going to your local hospital/ER so they can check you over and give you whatever you need. If you're unable to keep fluids down they might put you on a drip to help you recover more quickly.
Hidden content
You need -1 more posts to view this content
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: OnMyWayToSomewhere2, aufrechtm7 and SatinSoul
SatinSoul

SatinSoul

Technically innocent is the best kind of innocent.
Feb 6, 2026
73
EMTs brought me to the hospital. IV is great. Thankies
 
  • Love
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: cyanidekitty, Forveleth, MMOSTHATED and 17 others
Dante_

Dante_

Global Mod
Feb 27, 2025
506
Very relieved to know you're in hospital and getting the medical attention needed to be okay Satin...any amount of sn ingested is just not best to left to chance that it may resolve on its on without treatment.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Forveleth, NeverHis, peacecomingsoon and 6 others
vyvanceandvodka

vyvanceandvodka

hoping to recover .✦ ݁˖♡
Jan 7, 2026
202
I'm glad you're okay :(( I'm sending you so much love. :heart: Here if you need someone to talk to!
 
  • Love
Reactions: webb&flow and SatinSoul
iveseenfootage

iveseenfootage

it’s almost dry
Nov 30, 2025
108
Glad to hear you're okay. Hope all is well for now and you find peace.
 
  • Love
Reactions: SatinSoul
SatinSoul

SatinSoul

Technically innocent is the best kind of innocent.
Feb 6, 2026
73
Quick Update: I'm doing good overall. The ICU medical team did a great job, and i can walk again, somewhat, and my brain works alright enough as well. I still can't really eat or drink without throwing it up again despite IV anti nausea medication, so my arm has done most of the drinking since tuesday :D

I'm sure that will be fine again as well and i am aiming for going home or to a hotel today.
⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

(Extra Special Thankies to SN_Dante)
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: Forveleth, bananamatcha, LonelyPrince and 4 others
Mr.Tristesse

Mr.Tristesse

@##@@ ME AND MY GODDAMN LIFE
Jul 23, 2022
4,926
How did you explain your SN ingestion?
 
  • Yay!
Reactions: SatinSoul
SatinSoul

SatinSoul

Technically innocent is the best kind of innocent.
Feb 6, 2026
73
How did you explain your SN ingestion?
Was honest. I am well known there. Bullshit excuses won't work anymore. Got questioned by the police again in the hospital, once the basic procedure of keeping me alive was over. I just denied answering most of their questions. 24h hold, which is soon over so imma bounce if I can. At least I had a great nap.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: Forveleth, webb&flow and geepeedee
Mr.Tristesse

Mr.Tristesse

@##@@ ME AND MY GODDAMN LIFE
Jul 23, 2022
4,926
Was honest. I am well known there. Bullshit excuses won't work anymore. Got questioned by the police again in the hospital, once the basic procedure of keeping me alive was over. I just denied answering most of their questions. 24h hold, which is soon over so imma bounce if I can. At least I had a great nap.
I see. I am glad it didn't lead to more coercive measures.
 
  • Love
Reactions: SatinSoul
SatinSoul

SatinSoul

Technically innocent is the best kind of innocent.
Feb 6, 2026
73
I see. I am glad it didn't lead to more coercive measures.
My country is pretty chill around SN and the cops & medical staff were really kind, so I returned the favor.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Forveleth
Macedonian1987

Macedonian1987

Just a sad guy from Macedonia.
Oct 22, 2025
930
If you dont mind me asking how much SN did you ingest, and did they administer methylene blue in the hospital?
 
SatinSoul

SatinSoul

Technically innocent is the best kind of innocent.
Feb 6, 2026
73
If you dont mind me asking how much SN did you ingest, and did they administer methylene blue in the hospital?
I'd prefer not to share the amount. And no, i denied methylene blue this time.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Dante_ and Macedonian1987
SatinSoul

SatinSoul

Technically innocent is the best kind of innocent.
Feb 6, 2026
73
After reading my discharge report, I realized that I was in worse shape than I originally thought, and they apparently did administer methylene blue without my knowledge. Figured I might as well excerpt and translate a few things in case anyone finds the report useful:

"Patient presented to the emergency department in distress following an ingestion event resulting in mixed sodium nitrite, benzodiazepine, and alcohol poisoning. The patient reported losing consciousness shortly after ingestion and later waking up in her own vomit. Upon regaining consciousness, she complained of severe and diffuse abdominal pain, rated at an 8/10 in severity. Additional endorsed symptoms included chest pain, extremity pain, cluster headaches, perioral shortness of breath, confusion, auditory hallucinations, and speech impairment."

"On initial assessment, the patient appeared ill, ashen, discolored, and in acute distress. There were visible signs of severe dehydration, alongside noted perioral cyanosis and perioral syncope. Initial vital signs showed the patient was afebrile, tachycardic to 104 bpm, and tachypneic with a respiratory rate of 24. Blood pressure was elevated with a systolic reading in the 120s. Oxygen saturation was critically diminished at 81% while receiving 10 L/min of oxygen via Bag-Valve-Mask (BVM). Ocular examination revealed unremarkable visual acuity; however, pupils were anisocoric with 2+ pupillary light reflexes."

"Immediate stabilization and medical management were initiated for acute toxicity and hypoxia. The patient received 1 mg/kg of methylene blue to counteract the suspected methemoglobinemia from the sodium nitrite ingestion, along with 40 units of vasopressin for hemodynamic support. Dehydration and systemic stabilization were treated with intravenous resuscitation fluids, followed by a continuous maintenance infusion of normal saline."

"Following medical clearance, the patient was transferred to the inpatient psychiatric unit for further evaluation and management."

@Dante_ :3
 
  • Like
  • Love
  • Aww..
Reactions: kunikuzushi, vyvanceandvodka, COP2CON and 3 others
Dante_

Dante_

Global Mod
Feb 27, 2025
506
Glad you're okay.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: vyvanceandvodka, OnMyWayToSomewhere2, COP2CON and 3 others
S

Suizident

Member
Aug 7, 2025
86
I'd prefer not to share the amount. And no, i denied methylene blue this time.

I hope I didn't miss anything, but do you know why your attempt didn't work?

Do you think there wasn't enough SN?
 
Fadenself00_

Fadenself00_

Student
Sep 21, 2025
192
I hope I didn't miss anything, but do you know why your attempt didn't work?

Do you think there wasn't enough SN?
don't mean to break any boundaries with this, but from what I have seen with a few posts here, many take an amount that is not surely lethal, due to psychologic reasons. I'm assuming OP did the same and therefore doesn't want to share the amount.

I am very glad that OP is okay though 🙏
 
  • Like
Reactions: Suizident
SatinSoul

SatinSoul

Technically innocent is the best kind of innocent.
Feb 6, 2026
73
I hope I didn't miss anything, but do you know why your attempt didn't work?
don't mean to break any boundaries with this (you did), but from what I have seen with a few posts here, many take an amount that is not surely lethal, due to psychologic reasons. I'm assuming OP did the same and therefore doesn't want to share the amount.

Yes, I know for sure I drank enough SN. It was a for my body type adjusted SaSu-Standard-Dose. I did not want to share the exact amount since I'd prefer not to give people advice on how to kill themselves and there is already plenty of such advice readily available on here. Don't need to betray my morals for no reason.

The attempts' failure was caused be my being in acute dissociative crisis with no self-control left. It was very much a spontaneous ingestion with no preparation or medication whatsoever, combined with me being very drunk on said day and snorting benzos on top of everything to control my emotions. When that didn't work I apparently chose the SN.

I don't remember much of that night myself, which lead me to believe, for a long time after waking up, that it wasn't an actual attempt. After seeing videos, pictures, hearing from a person that witnessed the whole night and checking my remaining SN doses, I can assure you that it was a very lethal amount. What saved me was a full stomach, throwing up during the whole night and calling for help when I did. Yet, the SN still took a toll on my body and mind, but I am still hoping I will fully recover soon.

I am very glad that OP is okay though
Thank you. I am glad to be alive. This really wasn't my time to go, and I regret the attempt so incredibly much, especially the way I did.
 
  • Like
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: kunikuzushi, Suizident, stay_gold and 1 other person
Fadenself00_

Fadenself00_

Student
Sep 21, 2025
192
Yes, I know for sure I drank enough SN
Oh, alright then, sorry about that assumption.

is it even possible for anything besides the throwing up part (no AE(?)) to have contributed to you surviving, in any meaningful way? I was under the impression that SN's lethality was pretty separate from normal psychoactive substances
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: SatinSoul
SatinSoul

SatinSoul

Technically innocent is the best kind of innocent.
Feb 6, 2026
73
is it even possible for anything besides the throwing up part (no AE(?)) to have contributed to you surviving, in any meaningful way?
Impossible for me to tell. The EMT's seemed shocked as well that I even managed to walk a few meters before collapsing so... I guess weird body doing weird body things. Just got lucky... I guess ╮ (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ╭
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Fadenself00_
Fadenself00_

Fadenself00_

Student
Sep 21, 2025
192
Impossible for me to tell. The EMT's seemed shocked as well that I even managed to walk a few meters before collapsing so... I guess weird body doing weird body things. Just got lucky... I guess ╮ (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ╭
Did you get released from the psych hold?
 
  • Like
Reactions: SatinSoul
SatinSoul

SatinSoul

Technically innocent is the best kind of innocent.
Feb 6, 2026
73
Did you get released from the psych hold?
I did. They took over with IV's and similar small procedures for a while, and I'd say it was a rather relaxed time. Had way worse experiences there.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: kunikuzushi and Fadenself00_
S

Suizident

Member
Aug 7, 2025
86
... I can assure you that it was a very lethal amount. What saved me was a full stomach, throwing up during the whole night and calling for help when I did. Yet, the SN still took a toll on my body and mind, but I am still hoping I will fully recover soon.


I wonder exactly when the vomiting occurred. If, as described in the SN Bible, SN is usually fatal within 40 minutes, vomiting hours later likely did nothing to help her survive.

And at some point, all the SN that reached the stomach was either absorbed into the bloodstream or vomited out. The fact that the body was still vomiting hours later seems to me to be more of an overreaction of the immune system.

Now the question is: Did you vomit within the first 40 minutes? When exactly, how often, and how much fluid came back up?

I'm not a doctor or a biologist, but I could imagine that a full stomach contributed to survival: The alcohol enters the bloodstream much more slowly, and the maximum blood alcohol level is perhaps lower than with oral intake on an empty stomach.

Anyone who has ever had a can of beer on an empty stomach and on a full stomach should know the difference: The degree of maximum intoxication (and thus the maximum blood alcohol level) is greater when alcohol is consumed on an empty stomach than when consumed on a full stomach.
 
SatinSoul

SatinSoul

Technically innocent is the best kind of innocent.
Feb 6, 2026
73
I wonder exactly when the vomiting occurred. If, as described in the SN Bible, SN is usually fatal within 40 minutes, vomiting hours later likely did nothing to help her survive.
Vomiting started just a few minutes after ingestion. How long the initial vomiting phase was I am unsure. Don't remember much of that time, but I apparently passed out relatively quick. Around 4-5 hours after ingestion I was actually conscious again. I had the worst hangover of my life, and I was extremely dehydrated. Whenever I tried to drink water I threw it up again within seconds. That went on for a couple of hours and I kept drifting of into sleep again. I was freezing, my extremities were stinging everywhere, very similar to a frostbite. Once I realized it is only getting worse I called for help. My medical record further up on this thread describes my symptoms in more detail.
Obviously don't do what I did.
 
  • Like
  • Informative
Reactions: dreaming and Suizident
fadedghost

fadedghost

Found SaSu after reading BBC & watching YouTube
Dec 10, 2025
446
Vomiting started just a few minutes after ingestion. How long the initial vomiting phase was I am unsure. Don't remember much of that time, but I apparently passed out relatively quick. Around 4-5 hours after ingestion I was actually conscious again. I had the worst hangover of my life, and I was extremely dehydrated. Whenever I tried to drink water I threw it up again within seconds. That went on for a couple of hours and I kept drifting of into sleep again. I was freezing, my extremities were stinging everywhere, very similar to a frostbite. Once I realized it is only getting worse I called for help. My medical record further up on this thread describes my symptoms in more detail.
Obviously don't do what I did.
Are you still receiving locked involuntary care?
 
S

SDB

Student
Jul 21, 2025
129
Vomiting started just a few minutes after ingestion. How long the initial vomiting phase was I am unsure. Don't remember much of that time, but I apparently passed out relatively quick. Around 4-5 hours after ingestion I was actually conscious again. I had the worst hangover of my life, and I was extremely dehydrated. Whenever I tried to drink water I threw it up again within seconds. That went on for a couple of hours and I kept drifting of into sleep again. I was freezing, my extremities were stinging everywhere, very similar to a frostbite. Once I realized it is only getting worse I called for help. My medical record further up on this thread describes my symptoms in more detail.
Obviously don't do what I did.
Do you think it was the full stomach?

It's these kinds of threads that make me not sure what to think of SN as I need something highly guaranteed. I have almost no access to heights or guns.
 
D

Dontwant2Bhere

Student
Apr 1, 2026
107
Do you think it was the full stomach?

It's these kinds of threads that make me not sure what to think of SN as I need something highly guaranteed. I have almost no access to heights or guns.
The full stomach and the alcohol.
 
  • Like
Reactions: SDB and SMxj9

Similar threads

Anarcholoser
Replies
3
Views
295
Suicide Discussion
Anarcholoser
Anarcholoser
mayachcos
Replies
1
Views
470
Suicide Discussion
Macedonian1987
Macedonian1987
just_a_girl
Replies
45
Views
3K
Suicide Discussion
DanLip22
D