darkenmydoorstep
Not Waving But Browned Off….
- Sep 27, 2023
- 505
-
Hey Guest,
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TapeMachine
perpetually confused
- Jan 12, 2023
- 385
I don't know how to categorize it, because the thing that has tortured me most has been my own mind, but in the sense that I feel too much. I feel a profound sadness for particular people (can be those I know, as well as those I don't), though the reasons are sometimes unclear.
It isn't depression, though the feelings can trigger depressive episodes from time to time.
I don't proclaim myself an "empath"; its not this "look at me being such a good person" trait I parade about with catchy photos on social media (I do not have those anyway) or any such ridiculous shit. It's just an all encompassing sadness that feels like it's eating me from the inside, and my stomach starts to feel sick, and all of the world's corners seem sharp and ominous...and I try any and everything to evade the sadness.
I drank heavily for 15 years, I've done and still do drugs, etc, all in the hopes of muffling the thoughts and sensations. But I wouldn't say that addiction has been the problem; it's simply a symptom of a far deeper problem.
Don't misunderstand me though. I do not sympathize with every single person I encounter. I'm not some hero who is out there doing the good work and making a difference in the world. I want to get as far away from the sentiments as I can, because I do not feel strong enough for any of it. I can't save myself, much less any one else; and I guess that makes me feel hopeless and guilty on top of everything else.
It isn't depression, though the feelings can trigger depressive episodes from time to time.
I don't proclaim myself an "empath"; its not this "look at me being such a good person" trait I parade about with catchy photos on social media (I do not have those anyway) or any such ridiculous shit. It's just an all encompassing sadness that feels like it's eating me from the inside, and my stomach starts to feel sick, and all of the world's corners seem sharp and ominous...and I try any and everything to evade the sadness.
I drank heavily for 15 years, I've done and still do drugs, etc, all in the hopes of muffling the thoughts and sensations. But I wouldn't say that addiction has been the problem; it's simply a symptom of a far deeper problem.
Don't misunderstand me though. I do not sympathize with every single person I encounter. I'm not some hero who is out there doing the good work and making a difference in the world. I want to get as far away from the sentiments as I can, because I do not feel strong enough for any of it. I can't save myself, much less any one else; and I guess that makes me feel hopeless and guilty on top of everything else.
lefi
waiting for rainy days
- Aug 19, 2023
- 48
Depression and psychological abuse while growing up. I've developed other things in my teenage years, but nothing beats those two for me. They follow me wherever i go.
sancta-simplicitas
Experienced
- Dec 14, 2023
- 240
I choose emotional abuse. I'd also choose structural discrimination, parental neglect and medical abuse if either of them had been on there.
Felodese
Student
- Mar 31, 2024
- 192
Depression - which in large part have been caused by a combination of emotional abuse and emotional neglect. Kind of think different types of neglect should have been an option too. But then again abuse and neglect could be lumped into one, as they kind of go hand in hand: all your feelings/thoughts/opinions are ignored and your needs not ever taken into account - and if you display the "wrong" type of emotions/opinions in any way, you will be ridiculed, shamed, gaslighted, blamed, humiliated and yelled at.
