Discussion Poll: What has caused you the most suffering in your life? Select 2.

[PleaseHelpMi]

Physical Health Problems -
Herniated Disk that developed into full back pain (from neck to hips including upper arms & thighs most of the time)
Fibromyalgia
Migraine
Tinnitus
Hyperacusis

Why is the human body so frail that it breaks so easily yet so tenacious that it's hard to die?

 

[Dark Window]

Every bit of suffering everyone has experienced was caused by the fact that you were born. Why were you born? Because ur parents believed "life is good". So every bit of suffering was caused by the belief "life is good" and those who continuously push that belief.

If your parents believed like I do that life is very bad you'd never have been born. I won't have any children

lol we do get quite a few anti-natalists on here.

Physical Health Problems -
Herniated Disk that developed into full back pain (from neck to hips including upper arms & thighs most of the time)
Fibromyalgia
Migraine
Tinnitus
Hyperacusis

Why is the human body so frail that it breaks so easily yet so tenacious that it's hard to die?

Sorry about the back issues, sounds awful to be in such constant pain, how do you manage it?

 

[TiredOfAllThis]

Strong neglect from parents b/c of their general unpreparedness, poverty, health issues, autistic spectrum with social awkwardness, a lot of issues stemming from there. A lot of abuse later.

 

[Dark Window]

Strong neglect from parents b/c of their general unpreparedness, poverty, health issues, autistic spectrum with social awkwardness, a lot of issues stemming from there. A lot of abuse later.

Sorry to hear that

 

[Hotsackage]

Ocd, depression, dp dr, some sort of cognitive decline prob caused by all of these. All of them amplified tho, beyond any comprehension of any medical professional.

 

[Dark Window]

Metabolic disorder of the brain. So rather a Physical health problem with solely mental symptoms. So not sure what to chose.

Interesting, can you go into detail about your symptoms?
I'm particularly surprised that physical types of abuse are so low.

 

[tbroken]

Thank you very much for those polls, it is really nice to have the possibility to vent in peace.
I chose other mental disorders and physical problems.
Mainly CPTSD for some family disorders and the environment i was born in + injuries/infections i got when i was at young age.
Of course CPTSD made it all worse, i suppose a normie would have done the same things i did when i was in the process of healing: find a job elsewhere, make experiences, try something different. But also going away doesn't work anymore. It is really expensive to rent a decent house, you have to do odd jobs just to survive and ppl are more aggressive than ever after COVID.

 

[Dark Window]

Thank you very much for those polls, it is really nice to have the possibility to vent in peace.
I chose other mental disorders and physical problems.
Mainly CPTSD for some family disorders and the environment i was born in + injuries/infections i got when i was at young age.
Of course CPTSD made it all worse, i suppose a normie would have done the same things i did when i was in the process of healing: find a job elsewhere, make experiences, try something different. But also going away doesn't work anymore. It is really expensive to rent a decent house, you have to do odd jobs just to survive and ppl are more aggressive than ever after COVID.

Yeah I enjoy making them, will make more.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Hitting, beatings, severe corporal punishment

A bit of a nitpick here, but beatings would fall under corporal punishment.

Corporal punishment, the infliction of physical pain upon a person's body as punishment for a crime or infraction. Corporal punishments include flogging, beating, branding, mutilation, blinding, and the use of the stock and pillory.

Corporal punishment | Definition, Types & Effects | Britannica

Corporal punishment, the infliction of physical pain upon a person’s body as punishment for a crime or infraction. Corporal punishments include flogging, beating, branding, mutilation, blinding, and the use of the stock and pillory. In a broad sense, the term also denotes the physical disciplining

www.britannica.com

Also, any form of corporal punishment is abuse, whether it is "severe" or not. Corporal punishment has already been shown to have negative effects on children, even the more mild forms of it. If we want to get a hit personal for a moment, I actually had a friend whose mother used more mild forms of corporal punishment on her and she ended up revealing to me that would write messages and prayers in her diary to God, asking him to get her mother to stop hitting and beating her because of how much emotional distress it put her through. Any form of corporal punishment used on children, or anyone for that matter, whether mild or severe, is abuse. There is no such thing as an "acceptable amount of corporal punishment".

 

[Dark Window]

A bit of a nitpick here, but beatings would fall under corporal punishment.

Corporal punishment | Definition, Types & Effects | Britannica

Corporal punishment, the infliction of physical pain upon a person’s body as punishment for a crime or infraction. Corporal punishments include flogging, beating, branding, mutilation, blinding, and the use of the stock and pillory. In a broad sense, the term also denotes the physical disciplining

www.britannica.com

Also, any form of corporal punishment is abuse, whether it is "severe" or not. Corporal punishment has already been shown to have negative effects on children, even the more mild forms of it. If we want to get a hit personal for a moment, I hlactually had a friend whose mother used more mild to moderate forms of corporal punishment on her and she ended up revealing to me that would write messages and prayers in her diary to God, asking him to get her mother to stop hitting and beating her because of how much emotional distress it put her through. Any form of corporal punishment used on children, or anyone for that matter, whether mild or severe, is abuse. There is no such thing as an "acceptable amount of corporal punishment".

This is quite debatable, but ultimately if you feel you've experienced corporal punishment to the degree that you've been abused, then by all means select that option.

I still think that there's a difference between parents who use mild forms of corporal punishment on children that are genuinely behaving badly vs parents who just smack their kids because they're angry with them.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

This is quite debatable, but ultimately if you feel you've experienced corporal punishment to the degree that you've been abused, then by all means select that option.

I still think that there's a difference between parents who use mild forms of corporal punishment on children that are genuinely behaving badly vs parents who just smack their kids because they're angry with them.

There is no difference. Evidence has shown over and over again that corporal punishment in general is an ineffective disciplinary method and that it has negative effects on children. You can't pretend to be against abuse while actively defending it. Your attitude about this is part of why we have so many cases of people being unable to recognize the fact that they were abused as children.

Spanking children may impair their brain development

Spanking may affect a child’s brain development in ways similar to more severe forms of violence, according to a new study led by Harvard researchers.

news.harvard.edu

The research builds on existing studies that show heightened activity in certain regions of the brains of children who experience abuse in response to threat cues.
The group found that children who had been spanked had a greater neural response in multiple regions of the prefrontal cortex (PFC), including in regions that are part of the salience network. These areas of the brain respond to cues in the environment that tend to be consequential, such as a threat, and may affect decision-making and processing of situations.

"We know that children whose families use corporal punishment are more likely to develop anxiety, depression, behavior problems, and other mental health problems, but many people don't think about spanking as a form of violence," said Katie A. McLaughlin, John L.

According to the study's authors, corporal punishment has been linked to the development of mental health issues, anxiety, depression, behavioral problems, and substance use disorders. And recent studies show that approximately half of parents in U.S. studies reported spanking their children in the past year and one-third in the past week.

By contrast, "There were no regions of the brain where activation to fearful relative to neutral faces differed between children who were abused and children who were spanked."

Physical violence against children is completely unacceptable, even more "mild forms" of it. "Disicipline" isn't not a fucking excuse to put your hands on a child. Children are supposed to be treated with kindness and have their boundaries respected, not used as something to take your frustrations out on just because they don't always behave.

 

[Dark Window]

There is no difference. Evidence has shown over and over again that corporal punishment in general is an ineffective disciplinary method and that it has negative effects on children. You can't pretend to be against abuse while actively defending it. Your attitude about this is part of why we have so many cases of people being unable to recognize the fact that they were abused as children.

If you think they're both wrong that's fine, but yes there's a clear difference

1) Because many parents who use mild CP on misbehaving kids would only go so far vs parents who just take their anger out on kids for no reason. The difference in the type of person it takes to inflict the suffering is a distinction
2) To say there's no difference in general is stupid because it's like saying there's no difference between being slapped and being beaten up. Both are wrong, but one is far more likely to do serious damage.

So saying there's no difference is objectively wrong and stupid.

I respect your opinion, and if you want to say they're both abuse is FINE, just don't say there's no difference because their is.

Just because I'm saying there's a difference doesn't mean I don't recognise they can have similar effects.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

If you think they're both wrong that's fine, but yes there's a clear difference

1) Because many parents who use mild CP on misbehaving kids would only go so far vs parents who just take their anger out on kids for no reason. The difference in the type of person it takes to inflict the suffering is a distinction
2) To say there's no difference in general is stupid because it's like saying there's no difference between being slapped and being beaten up. Both are wrong, but one is far more likely to do serious damage.

So saying there's no difference is objectively wrong and stupid.

I respect your opinion, and if you want to say they're both abuse is FINE, just don't say there's no difference because their is.

Just because I'm saying there's a difference doesn't mean I don't recognise they can have similar effects.

Studies have shown that even mild forms of physical discipline still have negative effects on children, it isn't uncommon for parents to start off bu using mild cp before, overtime, using more severe forms of it due to it not producing any meaningful longterm effects.

Research has already shown that there isn't a different. Look at my other post again because I actually posted an article on it. Imagine going out of your way to defend parents harming their children? I hope you never have kids.

 

[Dark Window]

Imagine going out of your way to defend parents harming their children? I hope you never have kids.

I don't know what it is about sites like this and people loving the use of strawman arguments, I've seen so much of it on here when debates start abruptly happening, people resort to crappy tactics like this. I never defended child abuse, I simply pointed out that I think there's vary severities and categories of it

Since you're going to start behaving like this and misrepresenting what I've said, and because I don't want this thread to turn into a heated argument, I'm going to do to you what I've done to others who behave the same way, and put you on my ignore list.

I don't argue with people who argue in bad faith.

Imagine accusing someone advocating child abuse just to try and win an argument on the internet? Pathetic. Literally pathetic.

If you want to respond, I will not see it, but I'm not going to derail this thread any longer with this subject.

Welcome to my ignore list.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

If you think they're both wrong that's fine, but yes there's a clear difference

1) Because many parents who use mild CP on misbehaving kids would only go so far vs parents who just take their anger out on kids for no reason. The difference in the type of person it takes to inflict the suffering is a distinction
2) To say there's no difference in general is stupid because it's like saying there's no difference between being slapped and being beaten up. Both are wrong, but one is far more likely to do serious damage.

So saying there's no difference is objectively wrong and stupid.

I respect your opinion, and if you want to say they're both abuse is FINE, just don't say there's no difference because their is.

Just because I'm saying there's a difference doesn't mean I don't recognise they can have similar effects.

this article, the term corporal punishment signifies noninjurious, openhanded hitting with the intention of modifying child behavior. The terms corporal punishment and physical punishment are synonymous: "physical punishment" is more commonly used among parents in the United States; "corporal punishment" is commonly used internationally and is used in the United States by teachers, principals, and policymakers. Parents tend to use a number of euphemisms to refer to punishment that involves striking their child, including "spank," "smack," "slap," "pop," "beat," "paddle," "punch," "whup" or "whip," and "hit."18 "Spanking" is the term used most commonly in the United States and typically refers to hitting a child on his or her buttocks with an open hand, although some parents may include hitting with objects in their definition of spanking. Throughout this article, "corporal punishment" refers not to the broader array of striking, however designated by parents, but specifically to spanking as so defined here and as administered by parents in the United States.

The meta-analysis by Gershoff noted that thirteen of fifteen studies (eighty-seven percent) found that parents' use of corporal punishment was significantly correlated with less long-term compliance and less moral and pro-social behavior—in other words, corporal punishment was associated with worse rather than better child behavior.35 In their meta-analysis, Larzelere and Kuhn determined that "customary" corporal punishment was no better at promoting the development of children's conscience or positive behavior than were other methods of discipline, including reasoning, time-out, taking away privileges, threats, and ignoring misbehavior.36 In two more-recent studies not used in either meta-analysis, the more boys were physically punished, the less likely they were to behave in morally appropriate ways; there was no significant effect for girls.37

research to date on corporal punishment and child aggression is entirely consistent with these expectations from theory. In one meta-analysis of twenty-seven studies, every single study found that the more parents used corporal punishment, the more aggressive their children were.42 Similarly, twelve of thirteen studies found that the more frequently or severely corporal punishment was administered, the more strongly it was associated with more antisocial behavior.43 Although the majority of this research has been conducted in the United States, these findings have been replicated around the world. Indeed, corporal punishment has been associated with more aggression in Canada, China, India, Italy, Jamaica, Jordan, Kenya, Philippines, Singapore, and Thailand,44 and with antisocial behavior and other behavior problems in Brazil, Hong Kong, Jordan, Mongolia, Norway, and the United Kingdom.45

Empirical research has found that parents' risk for abusing their children increases significantly the more frequently they corporally punish their child. A meta-analysis of ten studies found a strong association between use of corporal punishment and risk for physical abuse.55

Yet a series of research studies has found that, despite parents' conscious intentions, this is indeed the case. One summary of the literature found that use of corporal punishment by parents was associated with more mental-health problems in all twelve studies examined.67 In particular, the more frequently or severely children are spanked or hit, the more likely they are to have symptoms of depression or anxiety, both at the time they are corporally punished and in the future. This finding has been documented in countries as disparate as Hungary,68 Jamaica,69 Mongolia,70 Norway,71 and the United States.72

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8386132/

 

[Dark Window]

Ocd, depression, dp dr, some sort of cognitive decline prob caused by all of these. All of them amplified tho, beyond any comprehension of any medical professional.

Sorry to hear this. Hope you get better.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I don't know what it is about sites like this and people loving the use of strawman arguments, I've seen so much of it on here when debates start abruptly happening, people resort to crappy tactics like this. I never defended child abuse, I simply pointed out that I think there's vary severities and categories of it

Since you're going to start behaving like this and misrepresenting what I've said, and because I don't want this thread to turn into a heated argument, I'm going to do to you what I've done to others who behave the same way, and put you on my ignore list.

I don't argue with people who argue in bad faith.

Imagine accusing someone advocating child abuse just to try and win an argument on the internet? Pathetic. Literally pathetic.

If you want to respond, I will not see it, but I'm not going to derail this thread any longer with this subject.

Welcome to my ignore list.

Oh, so that's why you defending parents physically hurting their kids then? Because you would never defend child abuse! Even if there are decades upon decades of research showing that what you are defending is child abuse. Severity doesn't matter, researchers have pointed this out, psychologists have pointed this out, social workers have pointed this out, and pediatricians have pointed this out. The vast majority of the most qualified people to talk about this have pointed it out.

You don't argue with people who point out your bullshit, you aren't above anyone. You are trying to defend parents harming their kids and then getting upset when I callout the fact that you are basically just defending child abuse rather than reflecting on your shitty views? You've got to be kidding me. What a fucking joke.

Just because you don't like being told that you are basically defending child abuse doesn't mean that isn't what you are doing. You cannot be against child abuse while defending people using corporal punishment, no matter how "mild" it is, especially when research has already demonstrated that it has negative psychological effects on children. It is abuse, whether you like it or not.

 

[Jorms_McGander]

Addictions come third on my list

Edit: my list being

1) neurodivergence (ADHD dx, autism possible)
2) BPD
3) addictions

Like dominoes in that order

 

[Dark Window]

Addictions come third on my list

Edit: my list being

1) neurodivergence (ADHD dx, autism possible)
2) BPD
3) addictions

Like dominoes in that order

BPD is common on this forum. Seems to be one of the hardest disorders to live with.

 

[Jorms_McGander]

BPD is common on this forum. Seems to be one of the hardest disorders to live with.

Suicidality and high risk behaviour are symptomatic of BPD... And it is quite painful at times too lol. It's what I call a dialectic truth after therapy, two sides of the same coin.

 

[eatantz]

Autism has ruined my life and anxiety has completely crushed me

 

[notevenhere]

what does it say about me that i have to check each and everyone.

but i have to admit, my BPD makes me the most suicidal because I act on impulse, which is why I fail. I have plans so it doesn't fail, but 100% the times i attempted was out of impulse because something triggered me and the state of being alive physically makes me sick so i have to take all my meds, cut and drink as much alcohol as i can. you can only imagine how that fails to kill me, reckless methods does not succeed.

 

[Dark Window]

what does it say about me that i have to check each and everyone.

but i have to admit, my BPD makes me the most suicidal because I act on impulse, which is why I fail. I have plans so it doesn't fail, but 100% the times i attempted was out of impulse because something triggered me and the state of being alive physically makes me sick so i have to take all my meds, cut and drink as much alcohol as i can. you can only imagine how that fails to kill me, reckless methods does not succeed.

Yeah almost always there's abuse in a BPD past.

I'm very sorry.

 

[notevenhere]

Yeah almost always there's abuse in a BPD past.

I'm very sorry.

People without bpd don't really understand why it's so difficult for me to let them go. My previous partners would look at me like I've gone crazy when I beg them not to leave even after we've hurt each other because that's the logical thing to do. They don't understand that my fear of being abandoned is so nightmarish, I actually would rather die than live another second being left.

They villainize my bpd and I understand that, because I do end up harrassing them to keep me in their life when the next normal persona can fuck off once someone drops them. That's something I physically cannot do because I end up actually killing myself. I wish I can stop. nobody understands how fucking hard it is to have bpd. it's like I'm not allowed to love without hurting the person i care about the most. I'm doomed to enter any relationships. the people who do want a bpd gf are abusers because they know we won't leave them once we're attached. it's all so fucked up.

I really have to die soon, I can't take anymore of this.

 

[notevenhere]

the human body so frail that it breaks so easily yet so tenacious that it's hard to die?

i agree. it's so messed up that the body fights so hard from dying but breaks down from surviving it (if it's a failed suicide) it's so fucking cruel.

 

[Dark Window]

i agree. it's so messed up that the body fights so hard from dying but breaks down from surviving it (if it's a failed suicide) it's so fucking cruel.

Hope you get better.

 

[Dark Window]

bump

 

[neverLoved]

Honestly for me it is mostly the non functional family I was born in to. Home life was never safe, alcoholic father who loved to threaten with knives, abuse, death threats and emotional neglect. Financial problems, which in turn caused a lot of moving around which made it hard for me to develop the social skills I needed, so instead I self isolated myself.

Now I am older, thrown in to the 'real world' and have to deal with all of this and the depression.

 

[sparklingtwirl]

Long term depression
Husband leaving after cheating / Disowned after failed attempt by adult children

Heart forever broken = final catalyst

 

[Dark Window]

bump