Discussion Poll: What has caused you the most suffering in your life? Select 2.

[Dark Window]

Obviously you may have suffered all, but I wanna focus in on the ones you people have unfortunately suffered with the most, so we gain an understanding of what is more likely to drive people to CTB or just understand each other in general.

Consider also putting a comment if you feel comfortable going into detail about what you've experienced.

If you feel comfortable

State your choices in order of how much they've impacted your life

E.G.

1 ) Depression
2) Psychological abuse

Vote results will be displayed, but voters will not be made public under results, unless they come forward in the comments voluntarily. So your choices will be displayed, but it will be anonymous poll.

If you don't think your primary issue is on the poll, feel free to leave a comment, I unfortunately only had limited options, but please still try to select 2.

 

[bookgirl]

Borderline Personality Disorder
Anorexia

 

[thenamingofcats]

1) sexual abuse
2) psychological abuse

Although it will probably be the finances that do me in.

 

[madasco]

Parent's physical abuse (beatings), and neglect.

Just edited this because it was two. Strong neglecting was more harmful than the verbal abuse

 

[FuneralCry]

Being conscious and aware trapped in a decaying flesh prison with no way to easily cease existing in peace has caused me to suffer. Human existence is the most dreadful, harmful abomination with literally no limit as to how torturous it can get, I really wish I never existed at all, under no circumstances would I ever want to exist, to me non-existence is preferable no matter what, I only wish to be permanently unaware. To exist as a human is the most futile and torturous burden, existing is just meaningless suffering.

 

[rozeske]

1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 8. Sorry it won't let me choose multiple and I can't really separate them as to which is more responsible.

 

[sserafim]

I'm not sure actually. I think mainly Asperger's and ADHD as well as social anxiety which stemmed from them. I've also been physically, verbally, emotionally/psychologically abused and emotionally neglected. I probably have some kind of personality disorder, but I'm not sure what exactly it is. Maybe SzPD or AVPD? For the poll though, I chose:

1) Other mental disorders - ADHD
2) Emotional or psychological abuse

 

[UnwindingStar]

I went back and forth about which ones to choose, mainly between depression and emotional abuse. I chose emotional abuse because I feel it may have been easier to deal with all the physical abuse and mental health issues if I wasn't torn apart and pushed down so often by people's words. Most often those words came from the people I cared for and loved very much. I grew up it a very toxic and confusing family dynamic that I haven't 100% recovered from.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Every bit of suffering everyone has experienced was caused by the fact that you were born. Why were you born? Because ur parents believed "life is good". So every bit of suffering was caused by the belief "life is good" and those who continuously push that belief.

If your parents believed like I do that life is very bad you'd never have been born. I won't have any children

 

[sickgirlzis]

1. depression
2. sexual abuse
was flip flopping between emotional abuse and sexual abuse but I don't know , I have barely unpacked the effects of my emotional abuse. and the effects of my sexual abuse are hitting me hard currently because I still have to live with the person who abused me, so it probably is affecting me the most right now atleast.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I've suffered abuse but it doesn't bother me nearly as much as my depression and anxiety which work together like the ultimate dynamic duo to keep me a lonely 30 year old incel and that's the real reason I'm suffering most.

 

[anhedonya]

I put poverty and physical abuse. Poverty I think is pretty self explanatory but is not the primary cause. I've been poor all my life. The real issue is the physical abuse I went through on top of that. My mother couldn't handle the stress and EXTREME poverty of America and became about 50000 times worse than when we were in our home country. I was happy before we moved here, even if I didn't have any luxuries. I even liked my mom, I genuinely enjoyed her presence even if she had issues.

The particular poverty America can induce and the intense stress it puts on a person is what led to me being physically abused for years on end. I endured things that I know for a fact wouldn't have happened if we never moved here to begin with. My mom became unrecognizable and I actively hate her to this day. I cannot stand someone hugging me and constantly think people are going to try to hit me. The second a situation goes badly, I immediately disconnect mentally because of the incoming blow (literal or metaphorical) that I'm already expecting.

It all ties together really. I live with the constant fear of homelessness above my head now.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

1. Severe depression
2. Borderline Personality Disorder

I don't know, from my every day life, where one illness starts and the other ends. I chose depression first because it's the one I can identify more easily.

 

[Unknown21]

I want to choose everything honestly

 

[Praestat_Mori]

1 & 8

A big failure in life has lead to stress / burnout and financial problems, as follows depressive episodes and suicidal ideation.

 

[Silent_cries]

Ocd and nervous in general. I no even write normal rn, it no fun at all! I nervous when see ppl do no good emotionally irl, it make socializing no easy to me. It make life very no easy to me. It main reason I want to ctb.

I chose other as number 2 bc autism and maybe me no sane.

My ocd and nervous most of what makes my life no easy though, I get no medication either so it no fun at all. Life, please set me free! <3

 

[Forever Sleep]

Growing up with a (suspected) narcissist caused me to feel suicidal initially and I suppose has formed the person I am now- so I went for emotional/psychological abuse. Now, my ideation is more to do with really just living in this world and being a slave to money. So, I chose financial second. Another major thing in my life has been a lot of bereavement. Especially in early childhood.

 

[madasco]

Sorry to hear that. Can you move back to your country?

 

[LunarLight]

1) Depression
2) C-PTSD from sexual abuse

But I could have checked much more boxes lmao.

 

[calebzz1]

I have mild depression after having post surgical complications (LASIK) and my vision being forever altered where I can't enjoy 99% of my hobbies and treatment is very limited.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I chose "other mental disorders" for autism but that's it as the rest don't really apply to me. I have social anxiety but I don't think that I'm suffering from it as I'm starting to get used to being lonely.

My main cause of suffering is life itself and how hard it is for a human to exist. There's just simply so much responsibilities that I have to do because I never consented to existence in the first place. It's absolutely unfair. Why did it have to be me that got forced to deal with all of the responsibilities? Why not somebody else? I'm also suffering because there just simply isn't much that I enjoy... this isn't due to depression but rather because I was thrust into a world against my will that simply wasn't made for me

 

[Braqs]

Anorexia
BPD

 

[WhenTheyCry]

Living normally in America and I've experienced most of those things

 

[Eudaimonic]

1.) Depression or anxiety; not sure which is worse
2.) Other mental disorders; a couple of issues that exacerbate one another, plus ADHD

 

[karmaisabitch]

None of the above!

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Every bit of suffering everyone has experienced was caused by the fact that you were born. Why were you born? Because ur parents believed "life is good". So every bit of suffering was caused by the belief "life is good" and those who continuously push that belief.

If your parents believed like I do that life is very bad you'd never have been born. I won't have any children

Not completely true. I was entirely an accident, coming about through a tear in a condom. Of course, I suppose my mother could have elected to have an abortion, but that wasn't all that popular an option back in the 1960's.

 

[untothedepths]

Is it sad that I could tick all of those boxes? I guess though for brevity mine where sexual abuse from an early age and emotional/psychological abuse. Really though, putting all this in a poll just shows me how interconnected and damaging it all really feels.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Every bit of suffering everyone has experienced was caused by the fact that you were born. Why were you born? Because ur parents believed "life is good". So every bit of suffering was caused by the belief "life is good" and those who continuously push that belief.

If your parents believed like I do that life is very bad you'd never have been born. I won't have any children

I don't even think most people who have kids think it through that far, I think they just mindlessly obey biology and society ("this is just what you do"). I can't tell if that makes it easier or harder to forgive.

 

[thepiecessatup]

I h

1. Severe depression
2. Borderline Personality Disorder

I don't know, from my every day life, where one illness starts and the other ends. I chose depression first because it's the one I can identify more easily.

I have BPD and I feel it encompasses the worst depression ever as well as horrendous anxiety. It's kinda a shopping cart of mental illnesses.

 

[Alex Fermentopathy]

Metabolic disorder of the brain. So rather a Physical health problem with solely mental symptoms. So not sure what to chose.