Poll: are you on antidepressants? (anonymous answers)

[muffin222]

When I was 21, I tried Prozac for the first time, and it affected me in a positive way almost immediately. Not a happy pill, but gave me some relief. I believe I am one of those with a messed up system. Maybe it's because I'm very empathetic and take on or see things going on around me. I stopped the medications due to insurance. I wonder now how things might have been different (before Prozac became generic).

When I was in 3rd grade, I was in line to take an eye test. I tried to memorize the letters the person said ahead of me, not really realizing my own eyesight was horrendous. The first time I had glasses on, I was surprised I could see every strand of grass. It's sort of the same story with me and depression. I thought my feelings and moods were normal. Like many have said, who really knows what normal is. If my normal is depression 24/7, I don't want it.

I agree- some people do have a chemical imbalance or some biological basis for depression. In my personal, non-clinical opinion, I don't think that depression is a purely medical issue for a lot of people, though. I wish we had more options for people beyond antidepressants, but I know that medication does help some people

 

[Weightoftheworld]

I take prozac, which I wanted to CTB before I started it and any other medication I take, but the other ones I take have side effects that make me want to CTB even more so I'm not sure if it's really helping anymore but I don't want to stop taking it because maybe it is what's keeping me from going over the edge.

 

[Mr2005]

Not for over a month. Might explain why I've been even worse than usual

 

[onlyeverexisting]

I've been on them since I hit puberty. I probably will be for the rest of my life, however long that ends up being. I just switched to my 8th different med, so we'll see how it goes.

They keep me alive mostly, if only by suppressing the worst suicidal thoughts (which I haven't decided is a good thing or not). However, pills aren't going to change my fundamental beliefs about myself, and that's the problem. Pills won't fix your self-esteem or self-loathing. Pills won't make you value your life.

The thing that bothers me is that there are virtually no studies on the long term effects of ADs, especially if you started them while your brain was developing. We're pretty much all guinea pigs.

 

[ghostspace]

I am so glad I'm on antidepressants because my depression and anxiety are less intense and the feeling that I NEED to CTB, that I'm trapped with no way out, has lessened substantially.

I'm grateful for that because I can think more clearly about CTB without the fear that I'm making a decision due to a clouded mental state. I can actually comprehend the lasting consequences and seriousness of such a heavy decision.

I'm suffering much less emotionally (my reason to CTB isn't solely due to depression) and function much better.

Some meds have made me more suicidal because they increased my energy without decreasing my depression. If possible, I want my choice to CTB or not to be made with the clearest headspace possible.

 

[wait.what]

I know antidepressants can really affect people negatively. I just read an article that talked about a type of brain damage from long term use of them.

Yikes, do you remember where you saw it? I've been on psyche meds most of the time for the last 30 years, since I was 18. I just seem to have gotten worse and worse over the decades, and I wonder if the meds have caused some form of damage on top of whatever else I had going on to begin with.

The worst thing is that most of the medications I've been on did little or nothing for me. The reasons I kept taking them were 1) I didn't want to have to give up hope that something might work, and 2) if you refuse medication, you get treated as a "problem patient." Psyche professionals either won't see you at all, or they treat you like trash. That includes the ones who don't even prescribe meds, like the social workers and the psyche nurses. I'm sure I wouldn't have been approved for disability based on my psyche problems if I wasn't on medication. It's entirely possible that my family would have withdrawn their support as well. The consensus is that if you have a "real" problem, you'll take the pills, even if they do nothing, even if they make you sick. If you refuse medication, you "don't really want to get better" and are just "manipulating others for attention."

 

[lighthousekeeper]

Lexapro didn't cause suicidal thoughts in the traditional sense but it makes me so tired that I've let everything fall by the wayside & any hope I had of restoring my life is gone now

 

[ADruinedmylife]

Antidepressants took my OCD away from me but it also took my soul away that is why I am here.

 

[Final_frontier]

Risperidone is rough. Antipsychotics in general are brutal, but risperidone seems especially bad. I'm glad you're no longer on it and hope it didn't have any lasting effects.

What dose are you talking about though. Is it the low dose they give for depression or high dose they give for psychosis? Been on many antipsychotics(combined with antidepressants) for depression. Olanzapine gave me hunger pangs and made me fat. Also gave me breasts. I wonder if they're responsible for the ongoing sexual side effects.

Antidepressants took my OCD away from me but it also took my soul away that is why I am here.

OCD is terrible. What did ADs do to you?

 

[BitterlyAlive]

What dose are you talking about though. Is it the low dose they give for depression or high dose they give for psychosis? Been on many antipsychotics(combined with antidepressants) for depression. Olanzapine gave me hunger pangs and made me fat. Also gave me breasts. I wonder if they're responsible for the ongoing sexual side effects.

Tbh it doesn't seem to matter. I was on a low dose of Abilify and had to stop due to side effects. Olanzapine is Zyprexa, right? I'm pretty sure it can cause those side effects, a lot of APs seem to mess with hormones...

 

[AJ95]

Yep, I'm actually on two at the moment, escitalopram 20mg and mirtazapine 15mg.

I've previously been on sertraline, duloxetine, citalopram, venlafaxine, and desvenlafaxine.

I'm also on lamotrigine 200mg as a mood stabilizer.

 

[k75]

I'm prescribed antidepressants BECAUSE I was suicidal and depressed. They did not create or increase those thoughts.

Lithium can be especially helpful. It's the only med proven to lessen suicidal ideation and urges. But you have to watch your levels closely, take the right dose, and be consistent.

Unfortunately, the dose that did that best for me was also too much for my body to handle. I kept nearing lithium toxicity so we had to decrease it. The smaller amount still works, but it only makes it so I'm less tempted to act on the thoughts. The larger dose took them away completely.

I'm currently off my meds entirely, which is not good and I don't recommend. I keep meaning to fix that, but it's oddly difficult to make myself. I'm definitely better on them, in any case.

 

[Mthom2]

This is going to make me sound like I'm completely out of my mind, but I was and just stopped about a week ago. The only thing that makes me feel better about this world, and life in itself, is the fact that I am not going to be around much longer. My antidepressant was actually helping to offset some of the sadness. I started worrying that I'd lose my desire to check out early. Which would mean having to endure more pain and suffering without a way out.

This sounds so crazy. But I just couldn't handle the idea that I wouldn't have that option. Has anyone else felt like this?

 

[ts0hill]

I am mid twenties and have been on them for 7 years. It has made my mental issues a lot worse in the long run.. and I believe it is what has been making me think of CTB more as the side effects of the drug greatly increased my agitation and how I react to things. They also change who I was as a person and I haven't felt real emotions for years. Also a lot of my hair fallen out on them due to the stress. However for some people they are ok. I am open to answering any questions about them

 

[Meditation guide]

It has made my mental issues a lot worse in the long run.. and I believe it is what has been making me think of CTB more

Have you thought about stopping them to see how you feel? That's a long time to be on them.

 

[TessB]

Sertraline.. put up to 150 mg per day recently. When I was first put on them I remember becoming completely obsessed with the Aokigahara Forest thinking it was the most beautiful place in the world, my suicidal ideation was ramped up 1000% by taking the pills. Sertraline got rid of my anxiety which also included any anxiety about death, meaning I'm not remotely afraid of dying anymore.

 

[Querry1]

I started to take antidepressants once again, I'm giving myself last chance, if they don't help me I'm out