Iamtired
Experienced
- Sep 30, 2023
- 210
Before I lost my life, he let me go. And I spun out in entropy. A manic state that led me into the darkest place of my life.
I'd like to share some things here that I hope people will gaze over, appreciate in its simplicity of what humans really are: connection. Love bonds. Love is what keeps us here. When we don't have it, or are denied it. It is torture.
My lover knew that. And he crushed it. Purposefully.
Poems.
11.07.23
The ocean: a vast place of consequence
The tides run you over and
Gasping for breath, you try to pull yourself up
He's not with you anymore
The memories are tainted with his silence
A quick flight to pain
Up in a million miles of air
the cloud is loaded
It holds nothing to gain
Compressing my love
It all is a drain
drowning back down in it
Now to keep me on track
In a life I now lack; a dream
To float in existence
I loved it so much
But one day we all have to leave it
Poems of T.
2022.
In a tapestry of jet fueled refineries
You'll find men so attached to their properties
Sitting upright like he owns reality
Quick to silence you when you throw up gasoline.
Fill to the brim of lies and debauchery
But you can still sit here and tell me you love me?
Poems of T (Continued). 2022
In the sudden white silence, where are you?
It seems I carry a letter to you, but the mouth of the mailbox is chocked with snow and the box billows as my computer explodes
Swollen to twice it's size by the thick coating of so many flakes already fallen for hours
left unattended
I think then to call you, seeing a phone, black as night and panes pasted over with glossy opaque tones like a half-marbled sentry box my mother kept in the kitchen. But the floor is so deep that I cannot pull myself to call and knowing you, you would never pick up.
Even the books are thick in snow and the screen is cracking.
Balked, I walk into the park of trees of this new foliage, false orchard bewildering like a fruitless spring. From afar strikes one bell practicing to be heard.
Is it you calling?
No. Only my heart tolling.
Poems of T (end)
2022
I was sad before I met you, it's true
Yeah A Satellite found me, it led me to you
I was good for the killing
Maybe not something you expected
Definitely not someone you're missing
I just couldn't believe you and still don't now
Isn't it funny how we save ourselves?
Yet not quite if I can still feel drowned
In sadness and regret of knowing you
All the singular letters. of the alphabet
Your Alphabetical shrew
No, I'm not your girl now
Remember how you kissed me through the wire and told me it was true
Remember how I showed you the sky in patterns, the shades of purples and soft blues
That light billows a relationship of shapes
For a canvas or a surface to be built up,
Remember how you called me a fucking bitch
And hung up?
I'd like to share some things here that I hope people will gaze over, appreciate in its simplicity of what humans really are: connection. Love bonds. Love is what keeps us here. When we don't have it, or are denied it. It is torture.
My lover knew that. And he crushed it. Purposefully.
Poems.
11.07.23
The ocean: a vast place of consequence
The tides run you over and
Gasping for breath, you try to pull yourself up
He's not with you anymore
The memories are tainted with his silence
A quick flight to pain
Up in a million miles of air
the cloud is loaded
It holds nothing to gain
Compressing my love
It all is a drain
drowning back down in it
Now to keep me on track
In a life I now lack; a dream
To float in existence
I loved it so much
But one day we all have to leave it
Poems of T.
2022.
In a tapestry of jet fueled refineries
You'll find men so attached to their properties
Sitting upright like he owns reality
Quick to silence you when you throw up gasoline.
Fill to the brim of lies and debauchery
But you can still sit here and tell me you love me?
Poems of T (Continued). 2022
In the sudden white silence, where are you?
It seems I carry a letter to you, but the mouth of the mailbox is chocked with snow and the box billows as my computer explodes
Swollen to twice it's size by the thick coating of so many flakes already fallen for hours
left unattended
I think then to call you, seeing a phone, black as night and panes pasted over with glossy opaque tones like a half-marbled sentry box my mother kept in the kitchen. But the floor is so deep that I cannot pull myself to call and knowing you, you would never pick up.
Even the books are thick in snow and the screen is cracking.
Balked, I walk into the park of trees of this new foliage, false orchard bewildering like a fruitless spring. From afar strikes one bell practicing to be heard.
Is it you calling?
No. Only my heart tolling.
Poems of T (end)
2022
I was sad before I met you, it's true
Yeah A Satellite found me, it led me to you
I was good for the killing
Maybe not something you expected
Definitely not someone you're missing
I just couldn't believe you and still don't now
Isn't it funny how we save ourselves?
Yet not quite if I can still feel drowned
In sadness and regret of knowing you
All the singular letters. of the alphabet
Your Alphabetical shrew
No, I'm not your girl now
Remember how you kissed me through the wire and told me it was true
Remember how I showed you the sky in patterns, the shades of purples and soft blues
That light billows a relationship of shapes
For a canvas or a surface to be built up,
Remember how you called me a fucking bitch
And hung up?
Last edited:
