please vote. What is more responsible that you intend to commit suicide?

[eduardo]

if you want , you can talk about it more or tell other reasons of your intending.

 

[SongBird1318]

I'm new here. Is there a search bar I can use?

 

[eduardo]

I'm new here. Is there a search bar I can use?

yes .sure. top of the page you can see

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Going with having been born since that seems like the most underlying cause of my suicidality. Another cause is autism (well, what it has caused in terms of relationships, mental health and employment), but I'm not sure which category that goes into.

 

[OnlyBuilt4Linxs]

The painful isolation/loneliness. Idek what's wrong with me for people not to like me like that. Whatever it is, I can't keep living my life like this. When I'm not at work I literally spend my days in bed rotting and the pain is real. I hate myself and my life. I wish I could change it but at 21 almost 22 I feel like life is meant to be like this

 

[SongBird1318]

I have an athlete's foot problem that won't go away. I dread dealing with a chronic issue in college.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

All of the above, really.

Raised in a drug house by drug dealer parents [both dead now]. Mentally ill, I have pain from permanent nerve damage in my ankles and hips. On disability, can't work or go to school. Pain meds for my nerve damage have wrecked my mind, the one thing I took pride in when I was younger--the memory problems are horrendous. Can't remember most of my life. Can't remember yesterday or what I did a few minutes ago sometimes.

 

[eduardo]

All of the above, really.

Raised in a drug house by drug dealer parents [both dead now]. Mentally ill, I have pain from permanent nerve damage in my ankles and hips. On disability, can't work or go to school. Pain meds for my nerve damage have wrecked my mind, the one thing I took pride in when I was younger--the memory problems are horrendous. Can't remember most of my life. Can't remember yesterday or what I did a few minutes ago sometimes.

yes but you can choose what it is MORE responsible and you feel it more.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

yes but you can choose what it is MORE responsible and you feel it more.

And I did, before commenting I voted for shit luck.

 

[Sebuet]

Done with people.

 

[littlelungs]

All of the above. Here's the "short" version:

I hate that I was born into a world full of cruelty, greed, selfishness, arrogance, inequality, bullshit systems and social expectations... and it just goes on and on.

I'm sick of dealing with people. I don't even know how to elaborate on that because I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

I'm traumatized from years of physical, psychological and sexual abuse in childhood that messed me up beyond repair. I have a whole grocery list of physical and mental problems, many of which don't have any approved treatment or cure, and even with the ones that could theoretically be helped, I've been mostly resistant to treatment, and it's sure as hell not due to a lack of trying - I've tried everything that has been accessible to me. I can't think of a single point in my life where I was even remotely at peace with myself or my surroundings, and I've always been in some sort of pain or distress. Between genetics and environment, I didn't have a shot in hell.

This whole "being a meat sack on a spinning rock in space" thing is just so bizarre and I don't even know how to go along with any of this. I don't know why I'm here, but I've been suffering relentlessly the whole time and I want out.

 

[eduardo]

All of the above. Here's the "short" version:

I hate that I was born into a world full of cruelty, greed, selfishness, arrogance, inequality, bullshit systems and social expectations... and it just goes on and on.

I'm sick of dealing with people. I don't even know how to elaborate on that because I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

I'm traumatized from years of physical, psychological and sexual abuse in childhood that messed me up beyond repair. I have a whole grocery list of physical and mental problems, many of which don't have any approved treatment or cure, and even with the ones that could theoretically be helped, I've been mostly resistant to treatment, and it's sure as hell not due to a lack of trying - I've tried everything that has been accessible to me. I can't think of a single point in my life where I was even remotely at peace with myself or my surroundings, and I've always been in some sort of pain or distress. Between genetics and environment, I didn't have a shot in hell.

This whole "being a meat sack on a spinning rock in space" thing is just so bizarre and I don't even know how to go along with any of this. I don't know why I'm here, but I've been suffering relentlessly the whole time and I want out.

I am so sorry for you and I wish that you achieve peace and dignity.

 

[littlelungs]

I am so sorry for you and I wish that you achieve peace and dignity.

Thank you, me too. I'm really looking forward to finally getting some relief.

And I wish the same for you as well, of course.

 

[stankboy421]

I'm just fucking crazy. I've been a weird abnormal freak ever since I started displaying extremely unusual, socially avoidant behaviours before I was even one year old.

I am officially diagnosed depressed, anxious, autistic, ADHD, and transgender, and a genius IQ. I don't relate to anybody at all. I struggle with maintaining basic functions. I can barely maintain a job at the same time as looking after my basic needs. I havent even brushed my teeth in a week even though i am quite manic at the moment. I can only achieve one thing a day, so that is normally either housework or I cook dinner. I am flakey and unreliable and avoidant, I hurt all my friends and family by avoiding them and letting them down even though I love them. Inside I feel weird, cold and hard, sometimes inhumane. I feel like I have the capacity to be incredibly cruel even though I have strong empathy. I hate how I feel. I have no joy, I find things which others value are totally meh. Like performances and entertainment. I don't get it. I don't enjoy doing anything any more. I have barely left the house in three years. I don't see any friends or family and I don't have any meaningful relationships other than my gf, and she is emotionally distant and asexual so we don't even have a very fulfilling relationship. I feel she keeps me around to help with bills and do the housework while she goes out partying with her friends. She is really mean to me when she is drunk and I believe every word she says. The other day she told me I am spoilt even though i dont even communicate with my family more than the occasional whatsapp message about the political status quo. I believe she is waiting for me to kill myself because she is too weak to break up with me.

Coupled with the fact i have been a misanthropist my whole life, I like people as individuals but as a species I think we are parasitic and unnatural. And i have also been obsessed with climate change for nearly 20 years - it was too late when I first started reading about it and it is definitely too late to prevent mass suffering now. So even if I did find a personal reason for living, there is only pain and discomfort to look ahead to anyway!!!

Honestly I don't actually understand why anybody ISN'T suicidal in this day and age.

I haven't ever said all of that "out loud" before and it feels really good to get it out of my head, thank you for asking this question.

May we all find peace.

 

[fox_wannabe]

struggle with maintaining basic functions. I can barely maintain a job at the same time as looking after my basic needs. I haven't even brushed my teeth in a week even though i am quite manic at the moment. I can only achieve one thing a day, so that is normally either housework or I cook dinner. I am flakey and unreliable and avoidant, I hurt all my friends and family by avoiding them and letting them down even though I love them. Inside I feel weird, cold and hard, sometimes inhumane. I feel like I have the capacity to be incredibly cruel even though I have strong empathy. I hate how I feel. I have no joy, I find things which others value are totally meh.

I am also autistic and I feel that. I mean I also feel empathy and cruelty at the same time. I write this because I have nobody to relate to. I struggle with keeping household and having a job.

 

[stankboy421]

I am also autistic and I feel that. I mean I also feel empathy and cruelty at the same time. I write this because I have nobody to relate to. I struggle with keeping household and having a job.

I'm really relieved that it's not just me who struggles with this disparity... sometimes I wonder if I am like a psychopath or something. I guess its probably an autistic thing but the autistic movement is so vomitously positive it would never admit it. Bless you for your reply

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

sometimes I wonder if I am like a psychopath or something.

Autistics, schizoids, psychopaths and c-ptsd victims can seem very similar according to this guy:

 

[stankboy421]

Autistics, schizoids, psychopaths and c-ptsd victims can seem very similar according to this guy:

Yo I am convinced I have schizoid!!!!! I forgot about it, thanks for reminding me! I'm high-key reluctant to add it to my list of fun identity labels tho haha. My gf made fun of me "collecting disorders" when I went for my autism diagnosis smh

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I'm high-key reluctant to add it to my list of fun identity labels tho haha.

"This will make a fine addition to my collection."

 

[eduardo]

Done with people.

what do you mean?

 

[Kattt]

completely wasting opportunities others would killl for
hurting my dad who gave me everything
fear of age killing me

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Poor parenting, neglectful uneducated parents
Lack of opportunities externally
Mental problems (depression, social anxiety, trauma, low self esteem, overthinking, overly emotional)
Alcohol abuse
Physical problems (looks and acne)

 

[FuneralCry]

For me I simply do not like existing. I see life as tedious and pointless and life does not interest me in any way. I want to ctb to prevent decades of meaningless suffering, as in this life there is no limit as to how bad it can get. This life holds unlimited potential for suffering. I dislike simply being conscious. It is uncomfortable. I am tired of the same thoughts.

I have had bad luck and have experienced health problems and I dread the future. I do not want to reach an old age. I have always struggled with life and I am not meant for this world. I just prefer the sound of non existence. I would rather rest and be at peace. I despise everything about living and that is my reason. It is hard to say what is more responsible as for me the problem is life itself. In a way I have already died.

 

[Upos]

Childhood trauma + growing up in an unsupportive environment + not receving adequate mental help at the right time = YOU ARE FUCKED for good
You end up being highly addictive and insecure person who looks for safety in unsafe places and is unable to maintain any kind of meaningful relationship.
I think of myself as I was already lost by the age of 15. I consider surviving almost twice as much as miracle. But it's not the right word for it as society is literally supporting me to go away.

 

[WaaaghEnjoyer]

My main reason is the fact that no matter what happens after we die, life is not worth living.
If there is no afterlife, then our memories exist only as long as we are alive, thus making life pointless.
If there is an afterlife, it lasts an eternity and that is an awfully long time. Human life is nothing compared to the infinity.
So why bother? Happiness is fleeting and we can't experience it constantly, but pain can persist for your whole life. Chasing happiness (which is what I think is the main purpose of living) is insanity.

 

[eduardo]

My main reason is the fact that no matter what happens after we die, life is not worth living.
If there is no afterlife, then our memories exist only as long as we are alive, thus making life pointless.
If there is an afterlife, it lasts an eternity and that is an awfully long time. Human life is nothing compared to the infinity.
So why bother? Happiness is fleeting and we can't experience it constantly, but pain can persist for your whole life. Chasing happiness (which is what I think is the main purpose of living) is insanity

exactly. I am tired of people all around us that they are extremely selfish.

They work and behave as if they want to live forever. this world has turned people to greedy and selfish people.
they dont take care of anything just they take care of their net worth ,their social character and etc. I am so sorry for them.

 

[Kattt]

My daughter recently discovered she has to have a hysterectomy. there was an initial sadness, but now it's become relief

 

[sugarfreejelly]

I am a bad person. I yell at my friend, one left me because apparently I am childish, fake and a liar. I hate the way I am and no matter how hard I try, I don't get better.
Besides that I have an eating disorder which is tiring me daily.
I know I'm not capable of being successful in the future, I am stupid and lazy. Neither do I have good looks that would help to achieve something (dumb reason but I feel like it's valid)
Narcissistic and egoistic as well.

I don't want to fail in life but I've already partly done it. Nothing good is going to come out of it when I do decide to live longer, especially cause not only I am a burden to this world, it itself is fucked up as well. The climate is warming, people are being killed (especially when the reason of murder is to satisfy some nonsensical immortal God-creature), sexes aren't treated equally and women (especially) are abused every day, and I could go on for ages about how many problems humanity has and causes.

At the end of the day, I doubt anyone would love to live long and be sick and having everybody else help them.

I just don't understand why I shouldn't kill myself if it would stop my own problems so effectively. Why would I keep wasting my parents money if I don't plan to live old anyways? Seems like a waste to me.

Anyways, thanks for reading my stupid self-absorbed reply, I guess.

 

[Sebuet]

what do you mean?

Haven't been very social for years. Hid all problems under drugs. Wanted to change finally. Left behind and judged by the last few people I had for opening up about problems. Treated like disposable scum.

 

[fox_wannabe]

I'm really relieved that it's not just me who struggles with this disparity... sometimes I wonder if I am like a psychopath or something. I guess its probably an autistic thing but the autistic movement is so vomitously positive it would never admit it. Bless you for your reply

I am diagnosed Asperger so It might be It. This plus a lot of suffering. I think suffering kinda gives you psychopath traits.

Childhood trauma + growing up in an unsupportive environment + not receving adequate mental help at the right time = YOU ARE FUCKED for good
You end up being highly addictive and insecure person who looks for safety in unsafe places and is unable to maintain any kind of meaningful relationship.
I think of myself as I was already lost by the age of 15. I consider surviving almost twice as much as miracle. But it's not the right word for it as society is literally supporting me to go away.

Thanks for posting that. I feel like I was lost the game before the junior highschool. Before 3rd class of primary school it was already over I was socially retarded and traumatized. Now I am 22, have no social circle, no job, my friends already have relationships and jobs, live with parents and all that jazz. If not expectations it would be ok but this world is fucking brutal. I really have no reason to stay here, meaby except for internet friends. I don't count family, they don't see my suffering and they couldn't handle it. I would be told "take your meds and go to psychiatrist".

It is hard people. Future seams bleak and memories are too heavy