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Q

qpsns

Member
Feb 2, 2022
52
Just because I'm young doesn't mean I shouldn't CTB.

My depression has gone to a state where it's unfixable now.

I am getting treatment and nothing is working.

My depression is making people tired and I already ruined many chances because of depression.

It's too late now.

I just wanna leave.

So please, stop helping me.
 
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locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
9,028
Whatever you do I wish Peace to you.
 
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Reactions: Heartaches, CloseFriendofCamus, Manaaja and 1 other person
its-about-time

its-about-time

nope
Mar 19, 2022
807
It's hard not to. I'm suicidal but see it as the final option. It's hard to not encourage people to consider other options. At the end I get it though. I'm sending you love no matter what.
 
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D

downndone2

Living in misery
Jan 23, 2022
1,270
It is difficult not to. I'm 44 and wasnt suicidal until the last few years after some really unfortunate events. When you're young, there's time to build a better life. Of course, I'm sure people would tell me there is still time but I lost nearly everything. I do hope whatever you decide, that you find happiness and peace.
 
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Catchingdabus27

Catchingdabus27

Enlightened
Dec 8, 2019
1,567
I relate to what you wrote a lot especially today. It's hard for people that care to just stand by and watch someone die. It's can get frustrating tho 💞
 
BigG91

BigG91

I'd rather be homeless with good health.
Aug 21, 2021
191
Just because I'm young doesn't mean I shouldn't CTB.

My depression has gone to a state where it's unfixable now.

I am getting treatment and nothing is working.

My depression is making people tired and I already ruined many chances because of depression.

It's too late now.

I just wanna leave.

So please, stop helping me.
I think that if you post your problems then people will try to help or talk you out of it.
If you don't want that then i suggest just posting about methods and plans and seek advice on how to make it as peaceful as possible.
 
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L

LittleJem

Visionary
Jul 3, 2019
2,669
I understand entirely. I do also recommend you try Ketamine before making final decisions. It can be very helpful for depression. I am in my 40s. Last October I was practising hanging myself. Now I am waking up without suicidal thoughts thanks to a big trip on Ketamine on Christmas Day. I am not saying it will work for everyeone and you need to avoid being addicted to it, but it can really help. My experience was like a death and rebirth, I became atoms and came back as a computer program! Like in the Matrix. I was so constantly suicidal before that trip, and really miserable.

I know others who have used Kambo and cacao. Then there is always ayahuasca.

prozac also helped me after about five weeks - less suicidal thoughts or even suicidal thoughts gone.

atm I take 20 mg of Prozac every other day or so and am okay.

I am totally in favour of the right to die and at the same time think it is worth ruling out things that could help as above. Then you can go knowing that you tried everythuign to have a second life.

If I wasn't dealing with homelessness right now, I'd be enjoying life so much. I applied to Pegasos and got rejected. I will always beleive in assisted dying, but the fact that I have another chance to live right now is something I never expected.

Swear at me if you want to! I know how shit depression is. I would rather be homeless than depressed, 100 per cent.
 
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GentleJerk

GentleJerk

Carrot juice pimp.
Dec 14, 2021
1,372
Things here aren't black and white. There's a spectrum of opinions. Some think suicide is totally acceptable for everyone, for any reason. Some think it's only understandable for people in the most harrowing and hopeless of situations, like horrible disease or illness.

Most are somewhere in the middle, and often express concern and care, possibly by trying to offer help, but also understanding for someone who is contemplating suicide.

You can try to demand that everyone stops offering you help, but you can't stop them. It's an open public forum. At least here on SS you are relatively free from the usual opinion that suicide is always completely unacceptable.
 
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PlushieLover

PlushieLover

XII - THE HANGED MAN
Mar 24, 2021
118
I'm also young and depressed and I tried to not be depressed for about 4 years now. For me, is an eternity and probably for you is also a lot of time. Old wiser people in here think that we can rebuild our lives and keep moving forward. But what if we can't even build a life in the first place? Some people are not born to succeed in any capacity in this absurd world so in my honest opinion, I think we have the right to just leave this miserable reality if we want even if we are barely adults.

So yeah. I'm not telling you to get help or to ctb, just make sure you are making the right decision.
 
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Weebster

Weebster

Everyone is alone. Everyone is empty.
Mar 11, 2022
1,683
Okay
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,908
I understand why you would be frustrated, as other people have no idea as to what you are going through as they are not living your life. Only you know if ctb is the right thing for yourself. I'm sorry that you are going through such unbearable suffering. I know that it can be awful when everything is hopeless. I wish you the best in whatever happens.
 
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thedaywillcome

thedaywillcome

I will leave soon
Apr 2, 2022
358
Just because I'm young doesn't mean I shouldn't CTB.

My depression has gone to a state where it's unfixable now.

I am getting treatment and nothing is working.

My depression is making people tired and I already ruined many chances because of depression.

It's too late now.

I just wanna leave.

So please, stop helping me.
The depression state come automatically correct?
 
C

Capsicum_Corral

Experienced
Dec 10, 2021
209
Just because I'm young doesn't mean I shouldn't CTB.

My depression has gone to a state where it's unfixable now.

I am getting treatment and nothing is working.

My depression is making people tired and I already ruined many chances because of depression.

It's too late now.

I just wanna leave.

So please, stop helping me.
Being young means it's very unlikely that it's "too late". But I didn't happen upon this site randomly, and certainly understand how it can feel that way. There's a lot of very convincing evidence that I'm never going to make my $100 million after the mistakes I made, but somewhere in the thick of it I reordered my priorities and goals.

Yes, I'm poor now, but a large part of that result is because I'm old af and no longer believe in our corrupted societies. The 40 to 50 year difference in our ages means you could end up in a completely different place than I am, in your distant future. You may feel like shit now, but feelings change regardless of external circumstances.

As we grow older, our past behaviors cut off multiple choices we "could have made" if we hadn't chosen (or ended up on) our current path. I was 'getting treatment' too, and it didn't work. Really, what finally worked was riding out the feelings that I should ctb for the good of everyone. Not pleasant in any way, but the belief that I should ctb finally dissipated after a number of years.

Not to help you, but it's not too late, and if you can miss the bus a few more times it's highly likely you'll end up being glad you did. Here's a video I just watched a bit ago, and one of the reasons I'm glad I stuck around.

 
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M

Messgram

Meaningless struggle
Dec 30, 2021
202
people seem to set an age at which is fine to die, but what difference does it make if we die today or 100 years from now? in the end, nothing will matter anyway as we will no longer exist to care about anything that happened here. Life is just an insignificant cycle of suffering where there are no winners, only purposeless sufferers.
 
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Reactions: PlushieLover

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