Venting please care

[jane249]

i am writing here because i have nobody in my life that would give a single f or care to listen to me. i am going to kill myself tomorrow. i ahve everything planned out. i am so alone i try so hard to change that and i cant. i have tried so hard for so long to stay alive and i cant. all because of a boy. i love him so much and i hate him so much i hate what he has done to me i hate how he treats me i hate how he doesnt care i hate how he doesnt listen to me. i am so lonely. i am so lonely. i need a friend. i need a friend who gives af i need a friend who cares. i have no one i have nothing. there is no future for me. i am 19 and still have yet to drive or get a job bc i am so fkn depressed and cant funcrtion. he does not care. he does not care. he is over me. after everything he did to me. after everything he did to me. i am coming on here BEGGING for someone tk care. someblody please care. nodboud cares in my life. please. somebody care. i ahve been screaming begging for help. i starve myself i cut myself im begging for help and nobody cares. i cannot take care of myself i cannot make myself happy. i have tried for years. so many years. i cant twke it anymoee. i need a friend. i just need a friend. i cant talk tk anyone. i cannot live my life without him even though he has treatef me so bad and i dont understand why i cant just let him go. i cant do it. i am weak i am nothing there is nothing ahead of me. no future. cant get into university. no ambitions. no desires besides somebody to care about me and treat me right and death. im begging for somebody. please. why am i such a terrible person whybam i so unlovable why cant i be enough for somebody. why cant i ever be enough no matter how hard i try. im begging for someone to care im so lonely. i do nothing but lay in bed and wait for him to text me. two years down the drain. he wasnt even good to me. he fkd me up forever. i have been trying to heal and icant. i am freaking out cutting and crying as i am typing this. i am scream cryinf hoping somebody comes to help me. when i call 911 and they come they dont care about me. i called them when i was freaking oout just needing somebody to care or at least act like they care. they dont car ethey were mean. i think there is something really wrong with me. nobody will read all of this but i need to let this out somewhere somehow. i need somebody. people are going to read this and roll their eyes but you dont know what he has done to me and continues to doif you were in my shoes youd want to die too. i am so lonely. i love evrerybody i just want somebody to love me or just care. please

please
please somebody

 

[AshClouds]

Hey,

I'm sorry you had to deal with so much abuse from some pos. I know whats like to be in your situation. There isn't a single person who cares about me either, but I just kinda wear that fact around me like an old piece of cloth. I really wish you well, you're not the only one here that is lonely, a lot of us are.

Ash

 

[legoshi]

Hi. I can't relate to everything you said but I understand lonely, depression and felling unwanted. But I'm here to listen and try my best if you need it.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Read the whole thing and honestly, my heart goes out to you. But first things first. From the obvious stream of thought way you are typing, you're obviously not thinking straight. Just breathe slowly and calm down a bit. You're safe here and there will be people willing to listen and care. I care. Simply because you are in distress and just need some comfort. Just calm down and let people respond. You'll hopefully feel a bit better soon.

 

[dhjsjdjdjdjhc]

No one here would roll their eyes when you vent, the people here all have this one thing in common; there was a certain point where they couldn't think straight at all. Some have it for longer, some have it all the time but we all get that feeling. It's not your fault so no one is going to judge you for it. It's okay to be upset, it's okay to wish to be taken care of when you can't take care of yourself. I hope everything goes well for you regardless of what you choose, i hope you'll find your person ❤

 

[Alpenglow]

It sounds like they really hurt you and I'm sorry that happened, you're definitely not a bad person and you trying to be better proves the opposite. Some people are just too caught up in their own lives to notice ( I am guilty of this as well T~T) but it's nothing wrong with you as a person. I'm not sure I can make you feel much better but I'm sure there are people hanging around here that would love to just talk, though the chat restriction may force you to go through threads for now. If you'd like to talk feel free to reply, if not I send you my best wishes <3