Planning final attempt

[hhd]

I'm new here. Lurked for a while.

I am beginning to plan what I hope will be my final attempt. I've tried overdosing with various prescription medications, as well as ligatures.

I've found out that my MH team do not believe I actually will commit suicide and they basically think I'm doing it for attention.

I genuinely wanted help and I reached out so many times for support but now that I know they think I'm a horrible person, I obviously don't deserve support and I need to stop trying as it's too painful to keep getting back up.

I want my next attempt to be successful and quick. I am planning to do it before the end of the month.

 

[hdead]

I'm new here. Lurked for a while.

I am beginning to plan what I hope will be my final attempt. I've tried overdosing with various prescription medications, as well as ligatures.

I've found out that my MH team do not believe I actually will commit suicide and they basically think I'm doing it for attention.

I genuinely wanted help and I reached out so many times for support but now that I know they think I'm a horrible person, I obviously don't deserve support and I need to stop trying as it's too painful to keep getting back up.

I want my next attempt to be successful and quick. I am planning to do it before the end of the month.

Oh how I relate. I've been called a coward (in the case I actually do CTB), a failure, a loser that runs from responsibility. It's all there. Yet here I sit with my world of hurt, my soul wanting to escape desperately and all I get is medications and cliche.

Do you feel comfortable sharing about the method you're planning?

 

[hhd]

I'm told I have the skills, I just need to use them. I have a job that I attend so I'm not prioritising my MH. In reality I go to work to pay bills like everyone else. But because I can't take time off to pick up meds or attend appointments all the time, I'm "being difficult". Because I get frustrated when they don't listen or refer to me as the wrong name four times (4 different names!), I'm "hostile" or "abusive".

I feel like a horrible person for asking for help anymore. It hurts too much to continue in this cycle.


I will likely combine my previous methods of OD until sleepy and then ligature, I think. I was almost successful with this previously.