Plan or Impulse?

[ayololly]

I think I've just about read enough/seen enough suicide related content.
It's frustrating to be continually planning or researching when there are just very limited options or ways to guarantee success.
On that note, I believe I'll be more successful by Impulse.
I get overwhelmed with anger and gate for myself that my mind automatically moves to suicide.
I'm holding on, day by day for the sake of family/friends and this fantasy that something will change somehow.
But in reality it doesn't work like that.
It's going to be one way or the other, suicide or self improvement, both take work and courage. I don't know if I have the willingness for the latter or the strength for the former.
I'm scared of myself. I hate this.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

The decision for the "right" method can be a large pain. Imo there are some methods that can work in an impulsive reaction, e.g. jumping, and hanging, both don't need too many preparations. Other methods need preparations to be performend at any time given the circumastances that will lead to an impulsive event of CBT.

What probably scares us all most is the fact that there is always a little chance of failure leaving us as veggies .... unfortunately

 

[ayololly]

The decision for the "right" method can be a large pain. Imo there are some methods that can work in an impulsive reaction, e.g. jumping, and hanging, both don't need too many preparations. Other methods need preparations to be performend at any time given the circumastances that will lead to an impulsive event of CBT.

What probably scares us all most is the fact that there is always a little chance of failure leaving us as veggies .... unfortunately

Wish there was an eject button hidden somewhere!

I would hope that if I were to end it a vegetable my family would do the right thing and let me go. But who actually knows!

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Wish there was an eject button hidden somewhere!

I would hope that if I were to end it a vegetable my family would do the right thing and let me go. But who actually knows!

Is your family pro-choice? If not, I doubt they would "help" you finally leaving this cruel and hostile world to find freedom. I wish you all the best!!

 

[Valky]

It's going to be one way or the other, suicide or self improvement, both take work and courage. I don't know if I have the willingness for the latter or the strength for the former.

Beautifully said!
It really is a shame that we aren't offered any easier methods. Before coming here and reading people's stories I really had no clue that it is THAT hard to ctb.

Tho, whatever you decide to do, we will be here for you and I wish you all the best <3

 

[deathLiberation]

It's going to be one way or the other, suicide or self improvement, both take work and courage. I don't know if I have the willingness for the latter or the strength for the former.

What probably scares us all most is the fact that there is always a little chance of failure leaving us as veggies .... unfortunately

Impulse is very risky. People fail a lot. I mean people fail in so many aspects, with all the plans, that with ctb cant be different.

Planning reduces the chance of failure. And as you said requires research and focus. There is no easy way out of this sick joke of existence.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Impulse is very risky. People fail a lot. I mean people fail in so many aspects, with all the plans, that with ctb cant be different.

Planning reduces the chance of failure. And as you said requires research and focus. There is no easy way out of this sick joke of existence.

unfortunately there is no way for us to escape this horrible, hostile world for us in an easy way right now.

 

[PinkMeow]

I have two attempts and both were impulsive and failed miserably. The second one put me in coma and fuck my brain for months. Planning is important from what I've learned with my experience

 

[ayololly]

Beautifully said!
It really is a shame that we aren't offered any easier methods. Before coming here and reading people's stories I really had no clue that it is THAT hard to ctb.

Tho, whatever you decide to do, we will be here for you and I wish you all the best <3

Same here, I never realised how hard it was. This place has been really enlightening in that sense.

Doesn't make it easier though knowing there's just so many constantly suffering.

I'm really hoping some day the wider population can understand.

Impulse is very risky. People fail a lot. I mean people fail in so many aspects, with all the plans, that with ctb cant be different.

Planning reduces the chance of failure. And as you said requires research and focus. There is no easy way out of this sick joke of existence.

Risk is inevitable, thanks for the reminder.

 

[Dainhla]

I attempted last year driven by the desesperation pressure of wanting to leave immediately this world but I didn't achieve my goal because of the lack of information about how to slit my wrists correctly, so I can get to cut an artery.

Now, I look forward to CTB next year, planning carefully what I will do, so I won't have any opportunity of failure.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hate how we exist in a world where there's limited options of ways to reliably ctb, it's such a cruel punishment how we are denied the option of a guaranteed, peaceful way to finally free ourselves from all the suffering.

But I guess that if one has managed to find a method plan that they feel confident in then they can just leave when the time feels right, I think that planning and research is important when one's going to ctb as failing ctb sounds so horrible to me. I certainly envy and admire all the people who've managed to overcome all the difficulties involved in leaving this world, to me those who no longer exist are the only true fortunate ones.