godforbidpain
dead gayboy
- Aug 31, 2024
- 14
i have picked a method to attempt to CTB.
im calling it an attempt because im not 100% sure this will be successful, but at this point i DON'T care anymore. i've run out of hope and i have no regard or respect for this body. i am worthless and not special or remarkable, so might as well leave it up to chance.
i am still picking out the specific place and the specific date, but i'm thinking SOON on a thursday in the middle of the night (i've thought about all the circumstances a lot).
i know this sounds poorly planned and rash but i've thought about CTB for over a decade now and have researched this plenty. i'm aware of every single possibility (and again, i don't care what ends up happening.) the universe hates me anyway so at least the uncertainty will make me suffer psychologicallly. i feel like i deserve it. i've suffered and been sad all my life, so whats more suffering at a possible end?
im calling it an attempt because im not 100% sure this will be successful, but at this point i DON'T care anymore. i've run out of hope and i have no regard or respect for this body. i am worthless and not special or remarkable, so might as well leave it up to chance.
i am still picking out the specific place and the specific date, but i'm thinking SOON on a thursday in the middle of the night (i've thought about all the circumstances a lot).
i know this sounds poorly planned and rash but i've thought about CTB for over a decade now and have researched this plenty. i'm aware of every single possibility (and again, i don't care what ends up happening.) the universe hates me anyway so at least the uncertainty will make me suffer psychologicallly. i feel like i deserve it. i've suffered and been sad all my life, so whats more suffering at a possible end?
