Philopshy or How I Began to Look for a Magic Bullet.

[SuicidalTiger]

Life is hard, painful and long, all of us here know this, we all have our tragedy, it is the reason you and I are here.

But I want to share something with all of you, and see if anyone else has similar thoughts.

Because I am an autistic waste-of-flesh, I think a lot. I think about thinking for fucks sake, life is full of problems, and I think about them, as I imagine alot of you do. I think that if I find the right philosophy, I will be able to "fix" my life and change my perception. Kierkegaard, Neitzche, Aristotle. Plato, Lacan, Camus, Paul-Satre, all these great philosophers, I think to myself "If I just find the right philosophy, the correct way of living, the right things to do! I will save myself"

It is all cope, philosophy will not save me, reason will not lead to solution... I can sit here and read, The Republic, or Thus Spoke Zarathustra all fucking day, but it won't change the facts on the ground... No, it will just lead me to being someone paralysed with "knowledge" and I use that term in full irony.

All of these grand concepts, people have, all of these ideas and thoughts mean nothing if I can't even get a job becaase my brain is riddled with fucking autism and is wired in such a way that people dislike me. Philosophy is just a cope, it won't help me fix myself.

Moreover, every time I seem to read something or look into it, I just... I get swallowed by thoughts, some of how the human race is nothing but a stain on the planet, or other time, about how we treat each other, or how I am a pathetic inferior autistic cunt, and will never come close to the ideal espoused by some of these people.

I read on the forum for another user, I won't name names, as this person has done nothing wrong, and I think they have done nothing wrong either, but they said something on their post about the default state being NEETdom, I agree, but their explanation was that in ancient times, one tribe would kill all of the men of another tribe (implying that the women would integrate with the victors) and it made me sick to my stomach and in a foul and miserable mood for the rest of the day... This person was right, and as stated did nothing wrong...

It's just that thought, and thinking lead to misery and pain, and philosophy is just masturbation in thought... There is no help there, thinking leads to reason, leads to pain and suffering, and comparison.

Even reading this back, I sound like a pretentous cunt.

I am lost in thought alone.

 

[anagram]

I think you'll benefit from SSRIs. They basically make you stop thinking (and turns you into a zombie sort of) and also numbs out your emotions. I used to be an over thinker like you but these days my mind is just empty. I think I found more inner freedom that way.

The side effects of SSRIs can be another hell though. DP/DR if you know what I mean. Also sexual side effects and losing your range of emotion. And also your ability to feel pleasure. Because it kind of messes with dopamine too.

It all depends on your current situation and if you have hope in improving your situation without meds. SSRIs also increase your stress tolerance so most stuff will affect you way less (at least from my experience)

I know the struggle with autism though. It's like everything sort of stresses you out and on top of that, a lot of anxiety. And that anxiety later turns to depression.

Please note that meds might just make you bored with life because of numbed emotions and ability to feel pleasure being snuffed out. Everything has a trade off

 

[SuicidalTiger]

I think you'll benefit from SSRIs. They basically make you stop thinking (and turns you into a zombie sort of) and also numbs out your emotions. I used to be an over thinker like you but these days my mind is just empty. I think I found more inner freedom that way.

The side effects of SSRIs can be another hell though. DP/DR if you know what I mean. Also sexual side effects and losing your range of emotion. And also your ability to feel pleasure. Because it kind of messes with dopamine too.

It all depends on your current situation and if you have hope in improving your situation without meds. SSRIs also increase your stress tolerance so most stuff will affect you way less (at least from my experience)

I know the struggle with autism though. It's like everything sort of stresses you out and on top of that, a lot of anxiety. And that anxiety later turns to depression.

Please note that meds might just make you bored with life because of numbed emotions and ability to feel pleasure being snuffed out. Everything has a trade off

Thank you for this.

 

[onlyconsciousness]

I think you'll benefit from SSRIs. They basically make you stop thinking (and turns you into a zombie sort of) and also numbs out your emotions. I used to be an over thinker like you but these days my mind is just empty. I think I found more inner freedom that way.

The side effects of SSRIs can be another hell though. DP/DR if you know what I mean. Also sexual side effects and losing your range of emotion. And also your ability to feel pleasure. Because it kind of messes with dopamine too.

It all depends on your current situation and if you have hope in improving your situation without meds. SSRIs also increase your stress tolerance so most stuff will affect you way less (at least from my experience)

I know the struggle with autism though. It's like everything sort of stresses you out and on top of that, a lot of anxiety. And that anxiety later turns to depression.

Please note that meds might just make you bored with life because of numbed emotions and ability to feel pleasure being snuffed out. Everything has a trade off

I would think thrice before taking an SSRI. As you mentioned, it can have nasty side effects. And the zombie effect also seems to affect many people taking it, although it's not always as pronounced. I myself have chronic fatigue syndrome (by burnout mainly, so stress) and because I didn't know shit the first years, not even where to look for information, I got in the hands of psychiatrists who "treated" me with an SSRI that eventually made my condition much worse at one specific moment when I reinstated it. I must add that I was taking the medication on and off, which could have contributed to the bad effect that one time. But I read quite a few stories from people who had nasty side effects, like a switch, after the FIRST dose. I dont wanne induce fear, but I would advise to be very cautious and think of alternatives first and why one should even take an SSRI. I don't think they have any special unique benefits to them that can't otherwise be achieved. But they have quite unique, or let's say "special" side effects (some of which they share with stuff like finasteride or other "antidepressants").
At least since covid and my personal experience with an SSRI I am of the firm conviction that big pharma is one big criminal field - and medical schools, doctors and those "expert" associations that determine treatment guidelines are complicit in many many cases of unnecessary suffering. And I think this suffering induced by pharmacological psychiatry much outweighs the suffering in case people wouldn't go visit a psychiatrist.

 

[Havnis]

Maybe you are reading the wrong philosophy, since I read Georges bataille my impulses and depression gone for some reason, and I feel fine about dying. I feel calm which I hate because all thrill gone.

 

[F@#$]

When you said magic bullet,I thought you meant something like the hollow point .357 shell I keep with me all the time. It's the one for me.

 

[Mirrory Me]

"... and philosophy is just masturbation in thought..."

 

[Havnis]

They are both surrogate activities, they differ on utility degree.

 

[Mirrory Me]

They are both surrogative activities, they differ in utility.

Does the matter refer to a phenomenon occurring in nature or to a phenomenon created by man...

 

[derpyderpins]

Life is hard, painful and long, all of us here know this, we all have our tragedy, it is the reason you and I are here.

But I want to share something with all of you, and see if anyone else has similar thoughts.

Because I am an autistic waste-of-flesh, I think a lot. I think about thinking for fucks sake, life is full of problems, and I think about them, as I imagine alot of you do. I think that if I find the right philosophy, I will be able to "fix" my life and change my perception. Kierkegaard, Neitzche, Aristotle. Plato, Lacan, Camus, Paul-Satre, all these great philosophers, I think to myself "If I just find the right philosophy, the correct way of living, the right things to do! I will save myself"

It is all cope, philosophy will not save me, reason will not lead to solution... I can sit here and read, The Republic, or Thus Spoke Zarathustra all fucking day, but it won't change the facts on the ground... No, it will just lead me to being someone paralysed with "knowledge" and I use that term in full irony.

All of these grand concepts, people have, all of these ideas and thoughts mean nothing if I can't even get a job becaase my brain is riddled with fucking autism and is wired in such a way that people dislike me. Philosophy is just a cope, it won't help me fix myself.

Moreover, every time I seem to read something or look into it, I just... I get swallowed by thoughts, some of how the human race is nothing but a stain on the planet, or other time, about how we treat each other, or how I am a pathetic inferior autistic cunt, and will never come close to the ideal espoused by some of these people.

I read on the forum for another user, I won't name names, as this person has done nothing wrong, and I think they have done nothing wrong either, but they said something on their post about the default state being NEETdom, I agree, but their explanation was that in ancient times, one tribe would kill all of the men of another tribe (implying that the women would integrate with the victors) and it made me sick to my stomach and in a foul and miserable mood for the rest of the day... This person was right, and as stated did nothing wrong...

It's just that thought, and thinking lead to misery and pain, and philosophy is just masturbation in thought... There is no help there, thinking leads to reason, leads to pain and suffering, and comparison.

Even reading this back, I sound like a pretentous cunt.

I am lost in thought alone.

lol I remember that thread. The hunter-gatherer stuff still confuses me.

I don't think you sound pretentious, though. You aren't speaking as if you're wiser than everyone else. While you're right that just thinking about things won't solve anything without action . . . thinking about things led to that thought. I think you've drawn a good conclusion, that you need to be doing your thinking with some end goal in mind, or some application to your problems.

An issue you've identified is failure to communicate with people because you are autistic and - understandably - don't naturally follow social cues that are easy for others. So I think if you are going to get philosophical, it should be with bridging that gap in mind. Think about 'why are neurotypicals the way they are,' 'what is the advantage of these social cues I miss,' 'what is commonality in our communication I can utilize so that we can understand each other.'

Just some ideas.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I relate to you. Maybe not in terms of philosophy. I'm embarassingly naive on that. But, in terms of hoping I'll find something that resonates with me and makes everything make sense. It's a hard thing to put in to words. It's not really even the meaning behind life. Sometimes, it's just something that will change the way I'm thinking, or match the way I'm thinking or, simply get me through another day! I sympathise though. I'm not sure it exists. I suppose there are lots of smaller things we relate to instead.