drmihilo
desperate
- Jul 30, 2022
- 90
I have constant instability in my head. My mind tries to latch on to some idea or thought (and it makes me happy), but after a while everything disappears and I find myself in internal instability again. This causes me pain. It is much easier to live with an idea, because everything seems so meaningful. Without ideas, the world is gray, empty, and meaningless. It's like a house of cards where the structure is the idea. But with just one whiff of wind, the house of cards inside me collapses. Such an idea can be, for example, death..... I dwell on that death until the idea disappears.
I don't know whether this is due to a philosophical crisis or to an abnormal functioning of the brain. One thing I do know is that I cannot live with this instability. I have no choice, though, because my psychiatrist doesn't understand me.
I don't know whether this is due to a philosophical crisis or to an abnormal functioning of the brain. One thing I do know is that I cannot live with this instability. I have no choice, though, because my psychiatrist doesn't understand me.
