People with their method at hand ready to go, how do you feel knowing you can ctb whenever?

[idkwho]

I feel an immense sense of relief but also kind of nervous that I'll fail once I do it.

 

[Rairii]

Safe. Knowing that if things really don't work out then I can just go. At the same time, I feel scared. Scared of myself making an impulse decision and screwing it up (so being still here after) or leaving when I'm actually just in a panicked state and not doing the things I wanted to do shortly before I go out. Though I suppose for the latter, it wouldn't really matter if I'm gone.

 

[Fennec123]

When I first received my Nitrogen tank and other bits... it kinda "hit home" how serious the whole thing was.... handling a heavy cold metal "lump" that was going to kill me... was a strange sensation.... in some ways it felt like a security blanket... knowing I had it stashed away felt like i always have an emergency exit.

Fast forward a year... i'm living in a different home.. but i have all the bits I need in a rucksack..... and this time i'm actually going to be using them. It still feels weird when im handling it