Venting People suck

[barely_afloat]

I wish that I could be a person that doesn't need social interaction to go through life. Unfortunately, I'm not. Although I have a low social battery, I still need to interact with people time to time or else I feel hella depressed.

But it's a double-edged sword since almost everybody I interact with doesn't really care about me, but rather about what I have to offer. Nobody cares to text me. Nobody cares to check in on me. Unless they need help. Help with assignments. Help with advice. Help with needing someone to talk to. And I comply like a pathetic loser. Because when I refuse, the request becomes an awkward insistence that ends up making me feel like crap. And besides, at least I get some form of socialization, albeit a feigned friendship, right?

Honestly, I just don't get it. Why use me as a tool? I can't even function that well anymore. I'm already fucking broken, why break me further? It takes a lot to make someone feel empty and hollow. To feel dead before being dead.

It's unfair, really. I know I'm not a good person. And I don't believe in karma. But I really do put an effort to being positive. I believe that if I help someone out, some day someone will help me. If I extend my hand out to someone that needs a hand, some day someone will extend their hand out to me. Not because of karma or anything, but it gives me some form of hope, I guess. Yet years pass by and nothing changes. I might be meeting new people (I move around quite a bit) but I still have to put up with the same crap.

Right now, I just feel so so empty. I don't want to be alive anymore. I hate that my life amounts to nothing, but that doesn't matter. I know it's a stupid rant, but I want to be heard in some capacity right now.

 

[Silent Raindrops]

I don't need interaction with people. I get along fine by myself.

 

[barely_afloat]

I don't need interaction with people. I get along fine by myself.

Extremely lucky. I can get by a few weeks. But then I need someone to talk with.

 

[Final_Choice]

I unfortunately can relate. I usually don't like to interact with people but at the same time I get lonely easily if I'm alone. I would actually somewhat enjoy when people used me for one thing or another, which is just sad. Unfortunately people are usually pretty selfish and don't really reciprocate what you give to them unless there's an explicit reason to do so.

 

[FuneralCry]

Sadly so many humans really are so incredibly selfish after all, they only care about themselves and what benefits them, I certainly believe they cannot be trusted and relied on. But anyway best wishes, I'm sorry you have to suffer like that, it is unfair.

 

[Rogue Proxy]

Indeed. All relationships and interactions are transactional and conditional. In all social groups and societies, every individual must be useful to other humans, particular those within their designated groups. Of course, exploitation of other organisms is intrinsic to the existence of all lifeforms. And humans are one of the most high-maintenance "need-machines" on Earth.