People saying "i did'nt know he was depressed, if only i had known..."

[Nerozero]

I was thinking about when those people find out someone they know killed himself.

They all say things like "I didn't know he was suicidal, I wish I knew so I could have helped him. Now if some of you are depressed please talk to me or someone, you can get help"

So I think, what could they do? Tell you to go to therapy? Listen to your problems and do nothing about it other than saying shitty tips to cope with depression?

This is all they could manage to do. I don't imagine some of these people (maybe only your parents if you are too young) going to pick you up to your house, paying and send you to therapy. Or doing something useful to deal with your problems. They just want to talk, and give you their opinion "hey, keep fighting", to feel they are helping

 

[Euthanza]

They have different definition of "help" that contradicts our interest. Seems to me they just don't understand us in life and in death until it happens to them.

 

[akirat9]

They have different definition of "help" that contradicts our interest. Seems to me they just don't understand us in life and in death until it happens to them.

all these 'explanations' are what OP says;

So I think, what could they do? Tell you to go to therapy? Listen to your problems and do nothing about it other than saying shitty tips to cope with depression?

This is all they could manage to do. I don't imagine some of these people (maybe only your parents if you are too young) going to pick you up to your house, paying and send you to therapy. Or doing something useful to deal with your problems. They just want to talk, and give you their opinion "hey, keep fighting", to feel they are helping

maybe if those places paid us for time there it would actually help

 

[Nerozero]

They have different definition of "help" that contradicts our interest. Seems to me they just don't understand us in life and in death until it happens to them.

My point is that they CAN'T help even if they understand. Unless the only help you need is that someone tells you "go to therapy", or you just need to talk to someone to feel better

There are people who only need that. But not on the vast majority of the cases

 

[toasterbath]

it's such stupid fucking advice people just say that shit to feel better about themselves like virtue signalling. for some people ceasing to exist is the only option but it continues to be a taboo in society

 

[chloramine]

It definitely comes off kinda hollow. Realistically it's arrogant and unhealthy to think that you can "fix" anyone in the first place. It feels a little trivializing too? Like yes for sure one person can make a huge difference but the idea that the things that lead to suicide can always been solved by one person (if they actually helped at all) feels so. Dismissive almost.

 

[makethepainstop]

I was thinking about when those people find out someone they know killed himself.

They all say things like "I didn't know he was suicidal, I wish I knew so I could have helped him. Now if some of you are depressed please talk to me or someone, you can get help"

So I think, what could they do? Tell you to go to therapy? Listen to your problems and do nothing about it other than saying shitty tips to cope with depression?

This is all they could manage to do. I don't imagine some of these people (maybe only your parents if you are too young) going to pick you up to your house, paying and send you to therapy. Or doing something useful to deal with your problems. They just want to talk, and give you their opinion "hey, keep fighting", to feel they are helping

If the dumbasses around us were engaging us in our lives, we might NOT have ctb.
But the idiots never see that. If they had taken just a little time to talk with us., but again they may not even care. At least until you ctb, then look out for all of those concerned individuals!

 

[Littlewittlelight]

If the dumbasses around us were engaging us in our lives, we might NOT have ctb.
But the idiots never see that. If they had taken just a little time to talk with us., but again they may not even care. At least until you ctb, then look out for all of those concerned individuals!

I also see it as they have their own families, lives and are so busy they can't do much about everyone else's life but their own or blood related but the thing is we live in society and if we even stopped to comfort people maybe it will all fail so they need to say those words *it gets better and it helps some when they are just feeling a bit low but not really the suicidal but nothing changes the fact they have their own lives but they don't want to accept they can't help much and it's hard to admit that maybe that's all the mess but I don't know how that would change and also one thing the people hired for this particular work like mental health provider if they don't even help them that sucks but the general population it can't do much but they wouldn't accept that and they haven't lived with it to go out of their way to help someone or offer more than those comforting words that's how I want to look at it. If you feel it's kinda true let me know because I also am confused and tbh life can be so happy and an illusion if you are content with it. Some people who have nothing can be happy,some who have everything can die and for now I feel that there isn't anyone on earth who doesn't have the ability to die or couldn't go this CTB way but it depends on how long you can distract yourself,feel content, how you see things and that's it for me. Sorry I omitt punctuations and I am pretty bad at them as English isn't my first language so sorry about that.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that some people who don't understand what it's like to be suicidal live under delusions that everything can be helped and made better. Talking doesn't solve real problems and take away real suffering. The fact is that for many people leaving this world is the most desirable option and this is hard for the non suicidal people to comprehend as accepting this would shatter their beliefs towards existence. Those types of people are in denial of the cruel reality of this world. Wanting suicide can be the most rational choice in a world like this, at least in my case it is as the thing that I have a problem with is life itself and leaving this world would solve everything for me.

 

[symphony]

The "if only I had known" gets me. Like, as if you could have done shit. I'm depressed as fuck and there are people in my life who know. No way in hell that could prevent my suicide. The only thing they could do to "save me" is have me locked up, then after I get discharged I could go right back home and finish the job. Get off your high horse savior complex.

 

[hamvil]

Just canned answers, they probably do not even think much of about it. They like a blanket statement that makes them feel better, like they had the power to save you but probably you did not do enough to make them know. If you had done something to make them know before they probably would have redirected you to a doctor or told you that life is precious and you must bring yourself up. After they do this they feel satisfied that it was enough and after that it is just your fault if you do not change attitude. I saw this already and I stopped talking with people about this.

 

[WorldRoamer]

Often people dont't read or understand the feelings of others. Also if they didn't experienced something it's difficult to imagine for them.

It's also that suicidal thoughts are taboo and people will start to go into positivity and preventing withouth adressing root of the problem. Not much people would go outside of this box and consider things that really can help or try to understand the will of life ending.