Venting I hate when he acts stupid

[Someplace_nice]

He knows I hate it when he just stands there like a deer in headlights. We usually take showers together, today he started getting ready to get in the shower when I tell him that I thought we were gonna take one together, "you said you were gonna take a bath today." Can I not do both? Than he proceeded to just stand there looking around for half a minute. If I don't say anything he'll stand there for 5 minutes, just doing nothing. I've told him how much I hate that bc it makes me feel like he's acting stupid. I can get it's early, but I don't lose motor function nor cognitive thought processes when I'm tired. I have to tell him what to do when he gets like that bc he can't think by himself of what to do in the moment. I can't stand it and yet it still happens.

 

[wantingdignity]

Is it like a power play? Is he trying to make you say/do the next thing?

 

[Someplace_nice]

Is it like a power play? Is he trying to make you say/do the next thing?

No, he quit literally ether stands there with no thoughts or is thinking of what to say.

 

[wantingdignity]

No, he quit literally ether stands there with no thoughts or is thinking of what to say.

That would annoy me a lot glad that it's not out of malice

 

[2messdup]

He knows I hate it when he just stands there like a deer in headlights. We usually take showers together, today he started getting ready to get in the shower when I tell him that I thought we were gonna take one together, "you said you were gonna take a bath today." Can I not do both? Than he proceeded to just stand there looking around for half a minute. If I don't say anything he'll stand there for 5 minutes, just doing nothing. I've told him how much I hate that bc it makes me feel like he's acting stupid. I can get it's early, but I don't lose motor function nor cognitive thought processes when I'm tired. I have to tell him what to do when he gets like that bc he can't think by himself of what to do in the moment. I can't stand it and yet it still happens.

Don't take this the wrong way but is he neurodivergent, or under a lot of stress, or have anxiety or post-traumatic issues. Because they can affect someone so decision making or unexpectedness can be difficult to deal with and can cause a cognitive or decision-making freeze. I have it but hoping it's temporary, but even something as small as a checkout person in the supermarket trying to make small talk with me has led to them describing me as looking "shell shocked". I know it's not the same because you're partners etc but it could be he's experiencing that form of problem.

 

[Someplace_nice]

Don't take this the wrong way but is he neurodivergent, or under a lot of stress, or have anxiety or post-traumatic issues. Because they can affect someone so decision making or unexpectedness can be difficult to deal with and can cause a cognitive or decision-making freeze. I have it but hoping it's temporary, but even something as small as a checkout person in the supermarket trying to make small talk with me has led to them describing me as looking "shell shocked". I know it's not the same because you're partners etc but it could be he's experiencing that form of problem.

We don't know if he's autistic but that'd be the only thing. I assume it's bc of his mom, she was abusive and isolating, she made his decisions for him. She made it to where he never thought about anything. We have been working on it but it's just the face he makes when he does it that makes me mad.

 

[2messdup]

We don't know if he's autistic but that'd be the only thing. I assume it's bc of his mom, she was abusive and isolating, she made his decisions for him. She made it to where he never thought about anything. We have been working on it but it's just the face he makes when he does it that makes me mad.

Maybe if she was abusive he's having a flashback or emotional flashback.

 

[Someplace_nice]

Maybe if she was abusive he's having a flashback or emotional flashback.

No he is purely just thinking, that's he he tells me all the time. That he's processing or thinking of what to say