
CandyCane
Student
- Mar 11, 2022
- 139
I have a chronic illness. I can't get better. Every day I spend in torture. I go to the doctor and I am gaslit and not helped. I don't have the ability to even drive anymore. I talk about suicide and people are like "your life is worth something!"
THAT IS NOT THE POINT!
Then they make it all about how they'd feel if I was gone. But I feel terrible not being gone every day I'm alive because I am trapped in physical torture. My mother told me "I need a counselor" and I'm like what on earth would a counselor do beyond waste my energy? Can they make it so I'm not physically being tortured every day? If not, what on earth is the point of counseling? There is nothing irrational about my position. I just wish I could tell people "I can't feel better, despite trying very hard for many years. I don't want to be sick every day anymore. I'd like to go peacefully nad have my wishes carried out after I'm gone regarding my property." And not get stupid answers back.
Obviously, I would rather feel better, too, but after 14 years of being sick, it's not happening.
It would actaully give me more peace knowing people would just put my money and possessions where I ask after I'm gone. It's just another burden for me to have to manage in advance.
THAT IS NOT THE POINT!
Then they make it all about how they'd feel if I was gone. But I feel terrible not being gone every day I'm alive because I am trapped in physical torture. My mother told me "I need a counselor" and I'm like what on earth would a counselor do beyond waste my energy? Can they make it so I'm not physically being tortured every day? If not, what on earth is the point of counseling? There is nothing irrational about my position. I just wish I could tell people "I can't feel better, despite trying very hard for many years. I don't want to be sick every day anymore. I'd like to go peacefully nad have my wishes carried out after I'm gone regarding my property." And not get stupid answers back.
Obviously, I would rather feel better, too, but after 14 years of being sick, it's not happening.
It would actaully give me more peace knowing people would just put my money and possessions where I ask after I'm gone. It's just another burden for me to have to manage in advance.