Venting PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKED UP

[Unattainable666]

Okay so this may sound trivial but it irritates the shit out of me. One of the dumb bitches I am forced to work with (this may be too much info for some) had an IUD - well she was too stupid to go to the doctor so she just left it in for god knows how many years (mind you she's married and has like six or seven kids and is like 35) (sound judgmental don't I?). well anyway it grew into her body so she has to have it taken out. I have no pity for her stupidity. the attorney I work for actually went over to her buddy four times yesterday and asked how she was doing - are you fucking kidding me? Okay, so this is my point. People walk around with mental illness every day and are considered - feeling sorry for themselves, oh get over it, take a walk, find a hobby, all the bullshit that we're told to do to take care of our little issues. People who have medical issues are so take care of by friends, family, medical providers. This is soooooooooooo fucking skewed. And people wonder why there are so many suicides. In my instance (PTSD, anxiety, severe depression), I am totally ignored at work - no one speaks to me - someone with a medical condition - they are given all the care and consideration one can give. I know this will never change because people who dont understand mental health are too ignorant to get it. And suicide will continue until understanding comes into play.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Mental illness is more stigmatized, especially when its ill-understood and with less visible symptoms.

Regarding IUDs, some people keep using them well past their expiration for e.g. 20 years without a pregnancy. 10 years is a common expiration date, and if she is 35 with 7 kids then she probably wasn't using it for too long. Perforation does happen in about 1 in 1000 cases so it's not her fault.

 

[Unattainable666]

Mental illness is more stigmatized, especially when its ill-understood and with less visible symptoms.

Regarding IUDs, some people keep using them well past their expiration for e.g. 20 years without a pregnancy. 10 years is a common expiration date, and if she is 35 with 7 kids then she probably wasn't using it for too long. Perforation does happen in about 1 in 1000 cases so it's not her fault.

WE

 

[seawolf11]

I agree. People don't get it. People don't understand. I have found in my own life, people who have known me well, prefer to act like everything is normal rather than ask a thoughtful question. It's very strange. For me, the first thing i do if somebody seems sad or upset is ask them if something is wrong, or if something happened. I never pretend everything is okay when it isn't and the fact that this is normal in our culture goes against all logic, in terms as my model for logic.

IE. if there is a house on fire, call the fire department, find out if somebody is inside and if you can help them, try to put out the fire, etc., and hope the fire department arrives soon. I believe in being supportive of people and asking questions, at least until they let me know they don't want to talk about it.

People are indeed fucked up, on average.

The strangest thing I have learned about people is this. When someone is upset, or bothered by something I typically notice it. When I am bothered or upset, or sad, I always believe that it's obvious. Actually, it is obvious because my demeanor changes. I know it's obvious and I have always thought that clearly people can see my sadness, they must be able to see that I'm upset about something. Surely, they would inquire. Surely, they care about me and would want to find out what is wrong. Surely, no!

First, the sad truth is that a high percentage of the population are disconnected from themselves and therefore there is no chance they can be emotionally connected to another human being. These people do not see what I believe is obvious. These people cannot see what to you or I is clear as a pie in the face. It seems unbelievable, and makes me feel as though I belong to a different species, but it's sadly true that sometimes the people we need the most when we are upset, do not have the awareness or compassion to be able to do so.

Second, another high percentage of the population do not like to deal with anything emotional or uncomfortable. Often, it's caused by either having a perfect childhood so they never had to deal with emotion. I know such people. Emotion is uncomfortable for this segment of the population. They find sadness uncomfortable and they'd rather pretend that emotions do not exist. Surely, unless you were to force an issue they would never inquire deeply about my emotions or why I might be upset about something. They are likely aware of it but would rather ignore it. These people prefer to stick their head in the sand and pretend everything is good. Much of it is subconscious as they find emotion a foreign entity and they don't know how to handle elevated emotions. Well, other than happiness and joy. These emotions are always welcome and they expect the world to play along with them.

Their is a very small percentage of the population who are conscious, compassionate, observant and caring. I'd say around 10% of the population are genuinely compassionate and empathetic. The reason is usually they had a more difficult childhood, which has shaped them to be far more sensitive human beings. These are the type of people I get along with the best and feel connected to. They are hard to find in this world, but they do exist.

Obviously I am generalizing but hopefully you see my point. I don't understand most people I meet. I honestly don't understand people who lack self awareness, compassion and the realization that relationships are far more important than things.

I definitely feel like an outsider. This planet doesn't have a place for people like me. Let's face facts, society doesn't appreciate genuine honesty. Employers don't value honesty. Compassion and empathy are qualities people talk about as admirable but day to day, I don't see these qualities all that much, other than the people you are close to, maybe, if you're lucky. Truth is, we are moving further and further away from our human nature. People are in love with their phones and virtual friends. Kids growing up today will one day talk about their best friend, who was an robot, or an Ai model on their phone. I wish it were a joke but it's hard to find a place called home anymore, at least for me.

I digress. It's funny how stupidity gets a lot of attention, but people who are intelligent but are struggling emotionally, are ignored or alienated because real emotion is uncomfortable for most people. And that's typically because of unresolved events from their own life.

 

[BornHated]

Spoiler: Original Post

I agree. People don't get it. People don't understand. I have found in my own life, people who have known me well, prefer to act like everything is normal rather than ask a thoughtful question. It's very strange. For me, the first thing i do if somebody seems sad or upset is ask them if something is wrong, or if something happened. I never pretend everything is okay when it isn't and the fact that this is normal in our culture goes against all logic, in terms as my model for logic.

IE. if there is a house on fire, call the fire department, find out if somebody is inside and if you can help them, try to put out the fire, etc., and hope the fire department arrives soon. I believe in being supportive of people and asking questions, at least until they let me know they don't want to talk about it.

People are indeed fucked up, on average.

The strangest thing I have learned about people is this. When someone is upset, or bothered by something I typically notice it. When I am bothered or upset, or sad, I always believe that it's obvious. Actually, it is obvious because my demeanor changes. I know it's obvious and I have always thought that clearly people can see my sadness, they must be able to see that I'm upset about something. Surely, they would inquire. Surely, they care about me and would want to find out what is wrong. Surely, no!

First, the sad truth is that a high percentage of the population are disconnected from themselves and therefore there is no chance they can be emotionally connected to another human being. These people do not see what I believe is obvious. These people cannot see what to you or I is clear as a pie in the face. It seems unbelievable, and makes me feel as though I belong to a different species, but it's sadly true that sometimes the people we need the most when we are upset, do not have the awareness or compassion to be able to do so.

Second, another high percentage of the population do not like to deal with anything emotional or uncomfortable. Often, it's caused by either having a perfect childhood so they never had to deal with emotion. I know such people. Emotion is uncomfortable for this segment of the population. They find sadness uncomfortable and they'd rather pretend that emotions do not exist. Surely, unless you were to force an issue they would never inquire deeply about my emotions or why I might be upset about something. They are likely aware of it but would rather ignore it. These people prefer to stick their head in the sand and pretend everything is good. Much of it is subconscious as they find emotion a foreign entity and they don't know how to handle elevated emotions. Well, other than happiness and joy. These emotions are always welcome and they expect the world to play along with them.

Their is a very small percentage of the population who are conscious, compassionate, observant and caring. I'd say around 10% of the population are genuinely compassionate and empathetic. The reason is usually they had a more difficult childhood, which has shaped them to be far more sensitive human beings. These are the type of people I get along with the best and feel connected to. They are hard to find in this world, but they do exist.

Obviously I am generalizing but hopefully you see my point. I don't understand most people I meet. I honestly don't understand people who lack self awareness, compassion and the realization that relationships are far more important than things.

I definitely feel like an outsider. This planet doesn't have a place for people like me. Let's face facts, society doesn't appreciate genuine honesty. Employers don't value honesty. Compassion and empathy are qualities people talk about as admirable but day to day, I don't see these qualities all that much, other than the people you are close to, maybe, if you're lucky. Truth is, we are moving further and further away from our human nature. People are in love with their phones and virtual friends. Kids growing up today will one day talk about their best friend, who was an robot, or an Ai model on their phone. I wish it were a joke but it's hard to find a place called home anymore, at least for me.

I digress. It's funny how stupidity gets a lot of attention, but people who are intelligent but are struggling emotionally, are ignored or alienated because real emotion is uncomfortable for most people. And that's typically because of unresolved events from their own life.

Sadly I find myself agreeing with most things here. The part about a bad childhood though, I've found, doesn't guarantee a person growing into a good person.
It is true that we all need to experience certain emotions to understand them better and more fully as well as those of others, and experiencing various forms of pain contributes greatly to it, but much of the time they also just evolve into narcissists. On the other hand, a lot of the good people who had easier childhoods just end up incredibly naive. The older I get the more I suspect a genuine genetic component to this aspect, something that interacts with neuroplasticity and vice versa.

I feel you though, I do agree. It's frustrating to watch this trend continue so strongly in a lot of the teens I encounter online. Ultimately I also think it's about the political and socioeconomic climate that's evolving, everyone knows the majority of the population is subject to the whims of the classes above them so they're more guarded with their time and energy. When you know your hopes and dreams aren't realistic as it was in the past and that it requires a lot of connections-making with the average person which, as you've noticed, is not willing to connect to others in the way we'd find comfortable.

Ultimately, all categories have existed and will always exist, but I think the times really influence which ones come out winning and which ones get stepped on.

 

[seawolf11]

There's no hard and fast rules, as you say, having a difficult childhood can take someone in any direction possible. It can turn someone into a monster, drug addict, bully, criminal or on the positive side, it can turn us into a lawyer to fight for those who can't defend themselves, a counsellor, artist, writer, accountant, and on and on it goes. I agree, humans are too complex and context is everything, including genetics. I think the environment we are born into determines most of how we become later in life. The theory of epigenetics makes sense and I have observed it in myself, and my family. I see it as if we are born with the potential to go in seemingly unlimited directions at birth. That potential is there, assuming we are born healthy, but who are parents are and their ability to parent, and the class we are born into, the neighbourhood, luck and chance, and our immediate influences, blah blah -- it all matters.

Those roads begin to close off fairly quickly because we don't choose any of it until we're fairly formed in who we are. The older i get I realize how little I can change, but I attribute it to my parents and what did or did not provide me. This is a deep topic. I feel like I could go on and on, but I'll stop myself. Ultimately it doesn't matter. All that matters is this, that somehow I wound up here and it's just not at all how I pictured things.

There have been several times in the past few years when I thought that maybe we are living in a simulation. It sure seems like it at times. And i say that because a few things happened that they honestly seemed to have occurred as though someone or some thing was trying to see how far they can push me before I completely give. It's felt like i am a guinea pig in an elaborate study, and the study to see what it takes to break a persons spirit. Have you ever felt like you were doing everything right, doing your best, being a good person, working hard, and everything seemed to be working and then something happens that is so unlikely, and more than once, that it honestly feels intentional by something that you have no control over?

Anyway, that's a little of what I have been feeling and experiencing. I'm not religious. Actually, the other thought was that if there is a god, he really hates for some reason. That thing they call god, if it is true, it hates me. Especially, because i see a lot of not so great people who seemingly are rewarded and they're not even trying. There's something strange that doesn't up for me. I'm not attributing anything to any god-like scenario but I do genuinely think that people who are sensitive and compassionate, empathetic, etc., find life more challenging and they have fewer options. Certainly, there's a way to be content in this world or everyone, but the structure of their life has to be decided by them. In other words, if such people don't have the luxury to choose the way they live, then it's a far more difficult road compared to someone who is more detached and indifferent, sees the world in black and white. Life is much easier if you're dumb. Let's be honest. I envy someone who is seemingly happy no matter what their life looks like. I'm just not wired that way. It's not who I am.