yeah, that's just cruel. even with "compassion fatigue", there are alot nicer ways to go about it when one really does have their plate full and can't handle the weight without making the person struggling and needing support feel like shit or they're in the wrong for reaching out for support from a friend. like, i'd be so apologetic if i wasn't in a mindset to give proper support because i'm in a bad place, i'd be apologetic, straightforward, still try to help by giving ideas and kept-promises of when i'd be able to actually talk and connect with them, kept-promises, not just brushing off/avoiding, fake promises. and that's only when i'm in a state where i can't really handle anything else, i'd never be lmean or rude or cruel about it, i'd be very straightforward with why i can't be emotionally available right now, that it's not me closing the door on them at all.
i wish those people who are actually rude about it and have actual cutting-off mindsets, which is not appropriate at all, when they need support, they're made to feel in the wrong or like they're doing bad when they're doing the human thing, which is reach out for support, what humans are designed to do. all i can say is see that as a sign that those people are just not the people for you to be friends with, i know that's very hard to do because you've been deeply hurt by them, but they're not the ones to give you what you need, which is empathy, understanding, time, care, they're not the ones, unfortunately. that's helped me a little bit, it's a hard pill to swallow, but you'll feel better about it when you move your attention to finding people who actually listen, don't want you to shut up, just have zero empathy or care, because when you find people who are up for it and open to it and actually supportive, it'll be the much-needed life-floaty you';ve been needing. it doesn't stop the hurt of the people who are actually mean/cruel about it, i don't have advicefor feeling better about that, i struggle with that alot and get so damn angry about it, but seriously, find other places, whether SaSu or other people who actually listen, don't judge, want to help, want to listen and hear you, support you.