DrowningWithin
All I wanted
- Jan 23, 2025
- 20
Hi friends,
I am someone those tried full and partial suspension in the past multiple times. I can't never seem to die and my closest attempt triggered survival instincts that saved me. (Before blacking out fully.)
I need to leave tonight, no expectations. I can't stop bed rotting because the consequences of my actions are catching up to me. I have nothing to live for but I'm so disappointed in myself. I can never seem to die, or do it right. It's so frustrating because I've tried so many times throughout the years and I haven't gotten better at all.
More than anything I want out, I don't believe in heaven or hell but oblivion. Exactly where I want to be. But if I fail again, I don't think I can even remotely hide my depression from my family. They already see the cracks in me not wanting to talk to anyone. I love them but I wish they and everyone else left me alone forever.
I am someone those tried full and partial suspension in the past multiple times. I can't never seem to die and my closest attempt triggered survival instincts that saved me. (Before blacking out fully.)
I need to leave tonight, no expectations. I can't stop bed rotting because the consequences of my actions are catching up to me. I have nothing to live for but I'm so disappointed in myself. I can never seem to die, or do it right. It's so frustrating because I've tried so many times throughout the years and I haven't gotten better at all.
More than anything I want out, I don't believe in heaven or hell but oblivion. Exactly where I want to be. But if I fail again, I don't think I can even remotely hide my depression from my family. They already see the cracks in me not wanting to talk to anyone. I love them but I wish they and everyone else left me alone forever.
