Method Partial SN documentation

[Saed]

The time differences?

That,too,but mainly just seeing you having misgivings. I didn't realise you only have SN.
I find you to be a very insightful,intelligent person, and I pay attention to your take on things.

 

[Living sucks]

That,too,but mainly just seeing you having misgivings. I didn't realise you only have SN.
I find you to be a very insightful,intelligent person, and I pay attention to your take on things.

Thanks but I'm the same as you and everyone else . And I wanted the debreather to work.

 

[Huntfish34]

Damn.. I. Appreciate the account and wish Mx the best, hope he didn't suffer Too much ( if at all ) I had SN as a possible option in the back of my mind but reading all of this just Reaffirms I couldn't go through that. ( The Knowing of what might happen , the Possible pain , and the timing of it all... Being able to watch the light fade out until its over seriously worries me) So I'll stick with my method for the time being, if and when that time comes which I believe is fairly soon.

 

[Lastsauce]

Thanks but I'm the same as you and everyone else . And I wanted the debreather to work.

The debreather in its current state is just more a complicated and much slower "exit bag".
Also the mask is very difficult to get airtight without glueing it to your face.
Maybe it will get better but that will take time which many don't have.

 

[FadingAway]

I think this thread just reiterates that we need more info on SN as a peaceful method. If anything, following Stan's guide seems more imperative. Hopefully more people will be willing to do what was done here so we can have more data to cull from

 

[SSlostallhope]

I would be willing to have mine documented but haven't been here long enough to build up enough trust with anyone. Time will tell though

 

[Abgrundanziehung]

Thanks from the bottom of my heart to W for sharing this and M for being willing to be documented in this way. This information is so important for the community even if it's incomplete. I've been searching methods for over a decade now and I just discovered this forum last week and It's the best thing I've found on the internet for people like us. So many caring people fixing working to fix the problem of lack of good information out there.

Honestly this doesn't put me off SN at all. I guess I've been witness to a handful of deaths as a caregiver and have seen and heard of much worse. I've seen people suffering for days, even weeks clearly in severe pain. We always do everything in our power to make them comfortable, but it's not an easy process for most. Honestly I've seen people moaning in that kind of pain for hours till we finally get enough morphine or other sedative to calm them down. 20 minutes or less is nothing in the scheme of things. It's just death is so often uncomfortable, at least you have so much more control over it when you are ending things for yourself. I hope that puts things into perspective a bit

 

[Saed]

I would be willing to have mine documented but haven't been here long enough to build up enough trust with anyone. Time will tell though

I can understand that. Personally,I'd rather do it alone.
I really felt for M in this account,when he had to ask for silence,and despite what he was enduring,was careful to say it in a non-hurtful way.

 

[Raminiki]

Thank you so much for this. It's an invaluable and emotive contribution. I'm seriously considering combining methods when it comes to my attempt. I don't want to suffer from SN poisoning, and I don't want to risk being unsuccessful with inert gas anoxia. My plan is to do the SN regime, and follow it with the exit bag. In theory, the inert gas should knock me out within minutes and either the gas kills me or if that fails, the SN finishes the job.

I know there's a risk of vomiting in the bag, but if I'm unconscious and dying anyway, I don't think it matters that much. I may also pull the bag off, but the SN would come in to compensate for that too.

 

[I screwed up]

Like @Living sucks said the time frame difference in the diff cases may be due to the meto, antacid etc. that one may or may not take.
Plus could it be the purity of SN ??? Just wondering. Also the mental state one is in may play a role in the extent to which one feels side effects like nausea, dizziness etc. Just my thought.

 

[Emily123]

I am wondering if the sound might be the 'death rattle'? According to google, "A death rattle is a distinctive sound that a person may make as they are coming to the end of their life and may no longer be able to swallow or cough effectively enough to clear their saliva. While a death rattle can be difficult to hear, it does not usually cause pain or discomfort to the individual." Medical term, it is - "Cheyne-Stokes breathing. It's an abnormal pattern of breathing commonly seen as patients approach death." I heard it can sound like, 'gurgling noises.'

i don't think it was death rattle or he was unconscious after 5 minutes . it sounds like unbreakable pain or discomfort .

 

[Tripz7]

i don't think it was death rattle or he was unconscious after 5 minutes . it sounds like unbreakable pain or discomfort .

Im starting to believe it was pain/discomfort myself. I mean it is poisoning. Im still sticking w this method since hanging has failed me too many times already.

 

[Philosykos]

Im starting to believe it was pain/discomfort myself. I mean it is poisoning. Im still sticking w this method since hanging has failed me too many times already.

Of course it was. Putting this next to Mooni's account which was similar, you'd have to indulge in quite a bit of self delusion to pretend that their lying down, groaning and mumbling 'fuck' several times was not due to discomfort. You don't do that if everything's fine and dandy. I suppose with this method the only thing you can hope for is that unconsciousness will find you fast enough that you won't have to endure the discomfort for too long.

From all the things I read about this, it seems that it takes an average of about twenty minutes to pass out after ingestion and who knows how long those twenty minutes will seem to you while you're in such distress. Actually dying from this can take hours and we don't know if you occasionally slip out of unconsciousness during those hours feeling life fading away but unable to do anything. Not trying to scare anyone here, but that's my observation from all the accounts that have been posted on this forum. I have my doubts if all the other medications actually do anything to alleviate discomfort; from my understanding AEs do nothing but prevent vomiting and maybe help with the nausea, antacids only help it absorb faster and BBs can alleviate tachycardia. But we have no way of knowing what other types of discomfort SN ingestion may cause that no med will help you with. Best case scenario, you find someone kind enough to smack you in the back of the head hard enough to make you pass out immediately after ingestion.

 

[I screwed up]

How about some benzos or Valium tablets to help u into deep sleep during the 20 to 30 mins of discomfort .

 

[MorticiasHair]

I'd like to know what Mooni thought when she said "f' " three times
I would not ignore the psychological part. And 15-20 minutes can seem like an eternity at this moment.

 

[Emily123]

I'd like to know what Mooni thought when she said "f' " three times
I would not ignore the psychological part. And 15-20 minutes can seem like an eternity at this moment.

she might be in pain . but it didn't last too much for her . she lost consciousness very soon

 

[Bct]

Thank you for M who wanted to documented his journey (may he achieved what he wished) and W who witnessed & documented it.

These documentations mean I need to accept some possibilities that will happen when I take SN. It's okay for me to bear some pain, knowing my death will be guaranteed if none disturbs my process, but I understand if people are deterred.

 

[JigsawFeelin]

Slipping in and out of consciousness is what terrifies me. I'm probably not alone in this but I bought SN thinking I'd found the miracle method. God knows what nightmares my already tormented mind will come up with if and when I come to from it.

 

[Brokenwithbpd]

The thought of not being able to breathe is terrifying

 

[Eden1505]

From what I've "seen" so far,I'll stick my neck out far enough to say,in addition to the combinations of peripheral drugs used or not used and unique physiological reactions,I think it possible reagent or lab grade is perhaps harder on the body than food grade.
I know that doesn't make sense looking at them from a chemical perspective.

@Living sucks It's quite sobering for me to see you post that.

Very interesting point you make about reagent lab grade vs food grade SN. Is there a thread somewhere that raises this issue with more info?

I have both types. The reagent lab SN came from a spanish lab with a sealed labeled plastic bottle, purity level and expiry date. Looking as professional as can be whereas the food grade SN came in bulk and a loose air tight plastic bag from the famous ukrainian seller. I will be very curious to see what results the aquarium test strip give.

 

[AlreadyGone]

This and Mooni's account on SN was the reason I moved away from this method.

 

[Brokenwithbpd]

This and Mooni's account on SN was the reason I moved away from this method.

I'm still deciding now

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Like @Living sucks said the time frame difference in the diff cases may be due to the meto, antacid etc. that one may or may not take.
Plus could it be the purity of SN ??? Just wondering. Also the mental state one is in may play a role in the extent to which one feels side effects like nausea, dizziness etc. Just my thought.

Your comment got me to thinking. Please know I'm processing those thoughts in my response. It's not personally directed at you. I think it's good to discuss these things.

I had a bit of a knee-jerk reaction to the speculation that mental state plays a role in nausea and dizziness, but if I step back, I can see how, yes, some people may be more prone to such responses. However, they would likely already be aware if they had a propensity for nausea or dizziness when experiencing anxiety. Purely physiologically, SN is a poison to the body, and nausea and dizziness are two common symptoms. If I consider a physical illness, such as the stomach flu, mental state plays no role in causing vomiting or dizziness. When one has to vomit, "turning a frown upside down" so to speak doesn't stop the body from vomiting.

I'm not sure what could cause the time difference. Everyone's body is different and is going to react in its own way, and from all the anecdotal accounts that have been gathered, it seems that there's a limited number of symptoms as well as a limited time frame. As @Philosykos mentioned in a previous comment, the average seems to be 20 minutes, but Moonicide took around 40 minutes before stopping breathing, and when I read the account closely, she seemed to have been conscious for most if not all of those 40 minutes. She may have gone into unconscious agonal breathing, which is a comforting thought, but she also may have been awake and experiencing difficulty breathing.

I don't mean to poke at anyone's comfort, but we're talking about death here, it's generally not pretty, and for many it can be scary. I think one or the best things about SN is that the symptoms are predictable, and so is the amount of time -- if one knows all of the potential symptoms, and knows they can handle the symptoms for up to an hour, then they can have rational confidence it's a method they can handle. And one can always hope that they have one of the easier experiences, but I think it's folly to go into the experience counting on it to be easier, and then emotionally suffering more because their body processes the SN in a less peaceful way than hoped for. Even with N there are extreme outliers, but with that method I think it is reasonable to have high hope that one will be in the vast majority, and will quickly and peacefully die.

 

[aedric_artifact]

Big thanks to the person who witnessed and documented this, and best wishes & peace to M who passed away.

I would like someone to document my SN attempt, which will be in either a week or less. PM me if interested.

 

[airboy_a380]

The person who witnessed this (whom I will refer to as W from this point onwards) is conflicted about whether they should release this information as full documentation of the SN method could not be obtained due to technical difficulties. But it was the person's last wish to document their experience for the members of this site so they could get a firsthand account of what SN ingestion does to the body. No one should be denied their last wish. MX (whom I will refer to by M from this point onwards), this is for you.

Before SN ingestion
7:25pm (PT) - text conversation was started between M and W. M says he feels calm, not anxious at all. M and W converse a bit, but not much is said between them. W asks once again if M is absolutely sure of his decision, which is confirmed by M. He says he is aware he can stop at any time before or after ingestion.
7:36 - M starts to prepare his supplies. He will make three cups with 25 grams of SN, mixed into 60ml of water each. No other medication was taken, a risk M is aware of which is why he decided for two back up doses in case he vomits. W mentions their feeling sorry that life has brought M to this point but M is determined and seems fairly uninterested in talking about his reasons much. An emergency plan is agreed upon; in case M wants to call it quits after ingestion, he will share his location with W and specifically say: Save me. He instructs W not to try and get help for him under any other circumstances, no matter what happens.
7:47 - M shares some basic information that he considers important for others to know: He is a 20 year old male, 5'6 ft tall (~168cm) and weighs around 210lbs (~95kg). He has not eaten in seven hours and has had only moderate water consumption over these seven hours; almost none in the past hour.
7:52 - M says he is not afraid at all and simply hopes that it will go quickly without too many complications.
7:56 - After W asks M if there's anything he'd like to say to the people on SS, he instructs W to thank everyone on the forum and sends a heart emote.
8:01 - Video call was started.
8:02 - M starts mixing the first cup. W is shown everything of relevance: the scale, the amount of SN on it, the amount of water added to the cup and the bottle of the SN used.
8:08 - M prepares his second and third cup. The mixture which he shows W looks a bit milky, not clear.
8:10 - M mentions feeling a bit of anxiety now that everything is prepared. W once again mentions that he can stop this at any time, that W will be there for him no matter what and the backup plan is once again confirmed by both parties.
8:12 - M mentions his phone battery being almost dead and leaves the bathroom to charge it for another 20 minutes or so just to make sure it won't die before he passes out. He shows W the note taped to the bathroom door, instructing housekeeping not to enter and call emergency services.
8:22 - M mentions his phone is charging very slowly.
8:24 - M returns to bathroom to stir his mixtures some more, says that the SN dissolves in the water for 90% or so, asks if the mixture will keep for a bit while his phone charges. W mentions that they think it will be fine for a bit. M spreads a blanket on the bathroom floor along with a bucket in case he needs to vomit and a backup cup in case he cannot get up later.
8:27 - after once again confirming that he is absolutely certain of his decision and is aware W is there and will call emergency services if M wants them to as per agreed upon backup plan, M drinks the first cup in one big gulp. He shows W some small salt residue at the bottom of the cup. He says it tastes very salty but not too bad. He does not have a mint or sweet to mask the taste afterwards.

After ingestion

8:28 - M mentions his heart beating faster than normal but is unsure whether this is due to anxiety or if it is SN induced tachycardia.
8:29 - M complains of lightheadedness and the urge to burp. He says he will lie down now and does so. Visual is lost at this point and W can only see the blanket. Audio is still fine and they can hear each other.
8:31 - M says he feels nauseous and sweaty.
8:32 - W tries to speak to M to put him at ease as much as they can and asks if M is all right, but M asks them for silence, not intending offence.
8:34 - after two minutes of silence, M picks up his phone and W gets a short visual of his face. He is drenched in sweat and starts groaning profusely. The phone falls on the blanket again and W cannot see anything anymore, only hear M's groans. W calls out to M several times but only gets groaning in response. No more words are spoken and the connection is lost soon after. Whether this was due to a poor internet connection or if M's phone died, W could not say.

I am very sorry it had to end like this for MX and his last wish to document the entire experience could not be fulfilled. No one knows what happened after, if he called emergency services or not or if other hotel guests overheard his groans and alerted hotel staff to it. W had no means to contact M in any way whatsoever after the call was ended. Whatever happened to you, MX, I hope with all my heart that you are in a better place now.

Your vivid account just saved one life, Mine! At least for now, for what I saw you posted on other subjects, I also had a rough childhood, that turned me into a broken adult. I've tried all medicine out there and I see very little evidence that no medication can or will help me. But living like this is a torture.

 

[rt1989526]

I expect discomfort and some pain with this method. I have no choice but to forge ahead and try it.

 

[ceelo]

SN sounds shite to me, christ i wish N was easier to get.

 

[Kae]

It sounds to me like benzos make a world of difference with this method. You could be out like a light rather quickly after SN ingestion if you time it right

how would you go about timing it if you were to go for this method? does the amount of time for benzos to kick in vary from person to person?

 

[rt1989526]

how would you go about timing it if you were to go for this method? does the amount of time for benzos to kick in vary from person to person?

I don't have benzos but I do have zopiclones. I plan to take about 20 minutes before SN.

 

[FadingAway]

how would you go about timing it if you were to go for this method? does the amount of time for benzos to kick in vary from person to person?

I'd test it out first if possible. I don't think the time to kick in varies from person to person outside of taking personal tolerance into consideration. I'd probably go with 6-7mg of Xanax or klonopin about an hour and a half before taking the SN. Maybe set an alarm for the SN in case you pass out too quickly