Venting parents watch me

[noone2]

So my SN arrived and I managed to hide it in the house. I would have killed myself by now but I am sadly never alone. My parents are aware that I'm suicidal because I was in psych ward before and they keep watching me. Now that I tried to escape yesterday, it got even worse. Fortunately, they only found the painkillers that I have prepared to take and not the SN, so I still have a chance. But I don't want to kill myself at home because I could be discovered and I don't want them to find my body. The plan was to get into the woods, however, my father watches me all the time, even at night. I don't know what to do. I want to leave as soon as possible, yet I don't want to risk a failed attempt and hospitalisation.

 

[FuneralCry]

In an ideal world other people would respect our right to die and let us leave when the time is right for us. It must be really tiring and frustrating being constantly watched by others when all that you want is to be gone. I understand having the fear of failing ctb and it's what holds me back from going through with it. It sounds so awful failing ctb. Other people really shouldn't have the right to interfere with our decision, if they want to live then that is up to them but they shouldn't try to force others to.
I wish you freedom.