Parents need to push their children out the house at 18

[saltshaker]

All of your opinions are garbage, i'm glad OP is gone tbh.

 

[Tkmiz_Tsukumizu]

The names just now crossed out. Think they came and left, or got banned for being a douche

and good riddance

Most compassionate post ever. Idiots will think you're heartless.

This is why I consider my parents evil. They want me to be dependent on them by any means. Any.

No he has no empathy and acted like an ass towards other users.

 

[aneurysm]

Also, I think OP got banned because they posted a whole rap song about quitting porn, but it was full of slurs, in this very thread.

lmao

It's not about being heartless, it's about being oblivious to the reality of this world and thinking being kicked out of home is the solution for depression, as if there isn't homelessness,

got it

No he has no empathy and acted like an ass towards other users.

okay.

 

[Tkmiz_Tsukumizu]

lmao

got it

okay.

Got it you just want to stir the pot. Ok troll

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

If they are feeling suicidal or you are too and don't have a job and still rely on your parents you should be doing everything to get a job ( I don't care how shit it is)

How is working a shit job supposed to make anyone feel less suicidal? Also what if I still felt suicidal even when I was working relatively not-shitty jobs?

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Also, I think OP got banned because they posted a whole rap song about quitting porn, but it was full of slurs, in this very thread.

 

[Good4Nothing]

"But I tried, didn't I? At least I did that."
- R. P. McMurphy, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

 

[aneurysm]

How is working a shit job supposed to make anyone feel less suicidal? Also what if I still felt suicidal even when I was working relatively not-shitty jobs?

you'd be surprised.

Sometimes, receiving help from the devil is far worst than not receiving help at all. Parental love and support is conditional and most often than not, you have no idea what price you're paying.

Some people are unconsciously waiting for their parent to die to start living. To start discovering what life can be. To start discovering who they are.

Every time, every single time I have tried to free myself from my parents, they have done everything to keep me I to captivity. Yet, you need extreme alertness to réalisé this because every single of their action simply appear to be loving. The self deception is real. They think they love me.

Yet, they'd rather have me dead than free. There is nothing I can do against this psychological hold, since it's not officially recodnized as abusive. And it's infinitely too subtle to be detected by the idiots who call themselves healthworkers.
Anyway, I can't be dépendant on myself because in our family scheme, it's not normal. It's not in the unwritten contract and by becoming free and happy, my bond with them would be broken forever.

"what's the problem since you want to be free from them?" you might wonder. Well, the problem is I'm incapable of breaking the unwritten contract between us since it's the foundation of my existence and everything else that follows. If I break it, it equals to destroying my very being.

and so I'm forced to tolerate this situation. I'd rather be a homeless beach dog.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

you'd be surprised.

Sometimes, receiving help from the devil is far worst than not receiving help at all. Parental love and support is conditional and most often than not, you have no idea what price you're paying.

Some people are unconsciously waiting for their parent to die to start living. To start discovering what life can be. To start discovering who they are.

Every time, every single time I have tried to free myself from my parents, they have done everything to keep me I to captivity. Yet, you need extreme alertness to réalisé this because every single of their action simply appear to be loving. The self deception is real. They think they love me.

Yet, they'd rather have me dead than free. There is nothing I can do against this psychological hold, since it's not officially recodnized as abusive. And it's infinitely too subtle to be detected by the idiots who call themselves healthworkers.
Anyway, I can't be dépendant on myself because in our family scheme, it's not normal. It's not in the unwritten contract and by becoming free and happy, my bond with them would be broken forever.

"what's the problem since you want to be free from them?" you might wonder. Well, the problem is I'm incapable of breaking the unwritten contract between us since it's the foundation of my existence and everything else that follows. If I break it, it equals to destroying my very being.

and so I'm forced to tolerate this situation. I'd rather be a homeless beach dog.

It's probably because I'm just soft but even if my parents were perfect and regardless of whether or not I'm living with them, I'd probably still want to kill myself if my job sucked since I'd be doing it every day and money isn't worth enough to me unless I'm making absurdly huge sums like at least in the tens of millions.

I'm really sorry you have to stay with yours though. Your parents sound like my dad who I've luckily been free from for over ten years even though I still live with my mom (who's not perfect but she's very good compared to some of the other nightmare parents people here have had).

It seems like no job shitty or not could really save you from this situation due to how much control they have over you which also sucks. I want to be clear I also wasn't against gaining independence in any way, I just think that one aspect of things, that being getting any job, won't necessarily guarantee happiness especially if it's a shitty one but hey maybe that's just me. It could still work for some people....

 

[Tkmiz_Tsukumizu]

you'd be surprised.

Sometimes, receiving help from the devil is far worst than not receiving help at all. Parental love and support is conditional and most often than not, you have no idea what price you're paying.

Some people are unconsciously waiting for their parent to die to start living. To start discovering what life can be. To start discovering who they are.

Every time, every single time I have tried to free myself from my parents, they have done everything to keep me I to captivity. Yet, you need extreme alertness to réalisé this because every single of their action simply appear to be loving. The self deception is real. They think they love me.

Yet, they'd rather have me dead than free. There is nothing I can do against this psychological hold, since it's not officially recodnized as abusive. And it's infinitely too subtle to be detected by the idiots who call themselves healthworkers.
Anyway, I can't be dépendant on myself because in our family scheme, it's not normal. It's not in the unwritten contract and by becoming free and happy, my bond with them would be broken forever.

"what's the problem since you want to be free from them?" you might wonder. Well, the problem is I'm incapable of breaking the unwritten contract between us since it's the foundation of my existence and everything else that follows. If I break it, it equals to destroying my very being.

and so I'm forced to tolerate this situation. I'd rather be a homeless beach dog.

In simple terms are your parents just overly protective or helicoptering you throughout life?

 

[aneurysm]

In simple terms are your parents just overly protective or helicoptering you throughout life?

on top of everything, they always blame themselves when I'm depressed and come to my rescue. It's the most vicious form of abuse.

they appear to be so loving, and supporting that no one will listen to me if I say that they're abusing me. Imagine someone who just constantly, viciously steal your indépendance? So you're dépendant on them emotionally, ideologically, financially, socially, mentally, professionally...?

Ever wondered why these Arabic princesses keep running away despite being wealthy and cared for in every possible way? They're miserable.

This is a very complex situation and freedom is almost impossible. Like I said earlier, I'm completely dependent psychologically, even tho in appearance, I look like any normal 24yo woman.

When I tell all this to my parents, they look at me with compassionate eyes, like I'm just insane (which they'll find a way to blame themselves for, simultaneously taking away my will to free myself) When I desperately try to become indépendant, they become excessively hard on me like to send me a warning.

 

[Tkmiz_Tsukumizu]

on top of everything, they always blame themselves when I'm depressed and come to my rescue. It's the most vicious form of abuse.

they appear to be so loving, and supporting that no one will listen to me if I say that they're abusing me. Imagine someone who just constantly, viciously steal your indépendance? So you're dépendant on them emotionally, ideologically, financially, socially, career wise...?

Ever wondered why these Arabic princesses keep running away despite being wealthy and cared for in every possible way? They're miserable.

This is a very complex situation and freedom is almost impossible. Like I said earlier, I'm completely dependent psychologically, even tho in appearance, I look like any normal 24yo woman.

When I tell all this to my parents, they look at me with compassionate eyes, like I'm just insane. When I desperately try to become indépendant, they become excessively hard on me like to send me a warning.

Most of my life my family was very overly protective and shielded me from things even until around the age of 24. It really is exhausting when you are treated that way, destroys your confidence, esteem and truly leaves you stunted when your family is no longer around,

 

[aneurysm]

Most of my life my family was very overly protective and shielded me from things even until around the age of 24. It really is exhausting when you are treated that way, destroys your confidence, esteem and truly leaves you stunted when your family is no longer around,

and this is the most fertile ground for self-blame. If you're the type to severely blame yourself for everything, it's a direct, paradoxical, consequence for this kind of upbringing.

the soul- crushing self-blame is what's driving me closer to suicide everyday. and I can feel in my soul that my parents are proud of me when I blame myself like this.

 

[Pen>Sword]

Doesn't give him an excuse to act like that towards other users.

You have a valid point.

 

[Nexey]

I agree with you on a surface level. It'd be ideal if everyone could distance themselves from their parents at 18. It's amazing how much more "free" you feel when you're living on your own vs with people who have authority complexes.

That said, it's not practical in this day and age. Of course, people in their 20s should still strive to move out, but you have to be careful. Roommates and occasionally even spouses can very well treat you worse than your parents do. I could say to never put all of your eggs in one basket, but that's very difficult advice to actually follow.

 

[Tkmiz_Tsukumizu]

I agree with you on a surface level. It'd be ideal if everyone could distance themselves from their parents at 18. It's amazing how much more "free" you feel when you're living on your own vs with people who have authority complexes.

That said, it's not practical in this day and age. Of course, people in their 20s should still strive to move out, but you have to be careful. Roommates and occasionally even spouses can very well treat you worse than your parents do. I could say to never put all of your eggs in one basket, but that's very difficult advice to actually follow.

Roommates can definitely be risky I've had some that we're dealing heroin and had cops over

 

[Squiddy]

How is working a shit job supposed to make anyone feel less suicidal? Also what if I still felt suicidal even when I was working relatively not-shitty jobs?

Exactly. I've gotten the I need to work and maybe I'd feel less suicidal by 4 people now. One by my cousin and 3 by mental health professionals and it's so annoying. I wish they'd fuck off. I'll eventually work, but right now, that's not what I need and I'd probably just get fired or I'd feel miserable and end up in the hospital and then get fired.

 

[kovkay]

My mental health was at my worst when I was working a min. wage job. I think the idea is that young depressed people don't know real struggle - haven't been exposed to the "real world", or maybe that earning money is supposed to make you feel better. Well, I don't have anything to spend the money on because I'm too apathetic to care.

I think doing something which has some meaning behind it, something which makes you feel like you're contributing to some field which you care about, is very different from counting items on shelves or folding returned clothing. Money isn't a good enough motivator and living alone seems like it would be lonely and depressing.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Well, I don't have anything to spend the money on because I'm too apathetic to care.

Money isn't a good enough motivator and living alone seems like it would be lonely and depressing.

So much this.

 

[Shadowrider]

*sarcasm*

Yes, the OP is very realistic.
Anyone, literally anyone who's just graduated from high school can get a job, can earn their living and can afford to rent at least a room. Yes.
If not, go to a homeless shelter until you save enough money to rent. :(
Yes, employers will welcome you with open arms if they learn you are homeless :(

No, it is not necessary to study. Not at all. Getting an education is just a waste of time.
Who would need engineers, doctors, teachers, therapists, researchers, jurors, economists?
Go and work. With nothing more than a high school diploma.

Yes, the nicest birthday present you can get on your 18th is having your things packed into a duffel bag and placed in front of the door.
Yes, in the age of 18 you are already mature enough to cope with the adult life, even if a few months ago you weren't even allowed to go to a concert or get a piercing!

*sarcasm off*

Okay, without being ironical: I really can't see what kind of fantasy world the OP was living in, or if they were just trolling.
Yes, spoilt big kids still living in the safe & comfy "mommy hotel" is not good at all, but this statement was more than harsh.

If it was so easy to move out and starting your independent adult life in the age of 18, I think most people would do so.

Most of my life my family was very overly protective and shielded me from things even until around the age of 24. It really is exhausting when you are treated that way, destroys your confidence, esteem and truly leaves you stunted when your family is no longer around,

Yes, being overly protected damages your confidence. You don't gain the necessary life experience, you simply don't know how to do everyday things and how to function in the "adult" life. And as such, you end up being helpless when encountering an "adult" kind of situation.

 

[Imaginos]

Generally speaking, I don't disagree with the notion that's posited here (getting out and doing something instead of stagnating in morbid isolation), but kicking someone such as myself out into this cold and merciless world would've simply led to me being a smelly, piss soaked bum wandering the streets like a lost little lamb with brain damage. Assuming I were lucky, perhaps I would've swiftly died as a result of this action, but in all likelihood I'd probably have instead just gotten by on garbage scraps and would just otherwise be eking along as miserably as possible. My anxiety and mental health problems wouldn't just have magically disappeared. Quite the contrary, they would've only been viciously compounded to a much higher degree than what I'd wager I've suffered living my isolated "manbaby" existence at home.

I mean, honestly, this is some real Ronald Reagan-tier logic being shown here. "Let's kick all the mentally ill people out the door and deny them any kind of shelter or treatment! Surely this will help them in the longrun and give them the firm push they need to finally be independent, functional adults!" And you can read up on how well all that fucking turned out. Spoilers, it didn't.

Be that as it may, assuming you're not a severely mentally ill nincompoop, then yes, leaving the "nest" once one is prepared to do so is probably the best course of action. However, it's extremely arrogant and pigheaded to assume everybody is capable of doing this, or that it would even solve anything to begin with when, in some cases, it would actually only make things significantly worse.

Also, it bears remembering that this whole "leaving the nest" notion/attitude is a very western (specifically american) idea, and a relatively new one at that. Most other countries have long histories/traditions of families which live and stick together under the same roof. Permanently leaving home would, in fact, be seen as culturally abnormal in such places. This whole idea that one needs to strike out into the world and get their own house, little slice of land, or otherwise atomized plot of nothing, was mainly pushed by US business interests in the 1940s and onwards as a means to sell real estate and jump start the extremely flawed nuclear family model.

Yes, being overly protected damages your confidence. You don't gain the necessary life experience, you simply don't know how to do everyday things and how to function in the "adult" life. And as such, you end up being helpless when encountering an "adult" kind of situation.

Granted, this is certainly true and should be, if possible, avoided. I know that at this stage in my existence, I have next to no hope of ever developing "adult" style skills and could simply not ever be expected to handle the otherwise everyday problems/responsibilities that people my age have to deal with on a regular basis. Having said that, it's not like I'm a completely helpless baby. I do the laundry, I shovel the driveway in the winter, I mow the lawn during the spring/summer, I know how to cook for myself, I clean/organize at every opportunity, I do my share of washing dishes, I get involved in fixing up the house and renovation projects, et cetera. Some people my age still don't even know how to do the first of those things. Just because I don't live on my own or have some soul destroying minimum wage job doesn't mean I still can't pull my weight and manage my situation in an equally adult way.

 

[aneurysm]

was mainly pushed by US business interests in the 1940s and onwards as a means to sell real estate and jump start the extremely flawed nuclear family model.

when I tell you that the US is basically a business... Rolf

 

[Makko]

when I tell you that the US is basically a business... Rolf