Discussion parasocial relationships and loneliness

[cryvinglightning]

the definition of parasocial in the oxford dictionary is:

"involving or relating to a connection between a person and someone they do not know personally, for example a famous person or a character in a book".

i've been relying on parasocial relationships all my life to avoid feeling alone. some of the most notable:

• harry potter characters, particularly sirius black and the marauders in general;
• anime characters. i don't even know who to mention first but i'm really connected to characters with inferiority complexes. (gee, i wonder why);
• kpop idols, especially in highschool;
• members of bands that i listened too, in general.

lately my best friend is getting me more into fall out boy. i don't think there's anyone on the face of the earth that loves them more than him. because he's been a fan for a really long time, he knows things about them that a lot of people might have missed.
he told me that pete wentz (the band's bassist and main songwriter) had a really dense life and a livejournal where he wrote his thoughts, with the most recent update being in 2010. it seemed rather important to understanding FOB's lyrics, so naturally i embarked on this old website.
what was supposed to be a shallow swim became a deep, deep dive. pete wrote and wrote and wrote and he did so beautifully. some of the phrases that stuck with me (from july 26, 2005):

you've got salty nails ripping my wounds open that you're telling me to let heal.

love is the way to blow your brains out minus the gun, i swear. it's the stupidest form of suicide cause you don't die. and whatever doesn't kill you only laughs at you for coming close enough to.

i'm just loose words hanging on the ends of your lips, even looser when i'm anywhere near your hips. poetry written from blistered fingertips and sleep deprived eyes that was better before the ink dried. he said, "i should have stayed with her," and i should have stayed away.

these are from the day of my 2nd birthday:

everyone else uses beds to fall asleep and now i'm using mine to fall apart.

sun from the curtains creeking over to illuminate the alarm clock cause time stands still without you but everything else keeps moving.

songs someone else wrote about someone else stuck in my head about you. don't be the reason i dream, be the reason i wake up.

i am connecting way too deep with the words a then 27 year old man wrote when i was 2. it's moving me in the same deep, visceral way that kurt cobain's suicide note did and seeing so much of myself in other people tears me apart. so i guess this is another parasocial relationship that i will use to fill my voids, like talking to ambrick wall that i have built myself.

i got really carried away, but i was trying to get to the question: how many people on here use parasociality to cope? is it as vast of a phenomenon as it seems to be? i know for a fact that i'm not alone in this. i'm just trying to confirm that i am not.

love and peace.

 

[cold_severance]

i do relate to characters in games/anime though i wouldnt say its coping for me and i never had that with people irl. also it like fades really quickly within a week or so and i stop caring altogether. dont know if that counts as parasocial relationship or not. i think all of them have themes of being ostracized, lonely and suicidal.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'd never heard the term before but yes, this is very much me. I get obsessive about characters in fims/books, whatever. I sort of partly 'live' in these realms as a coping mechanism. Pathetic but, it's what makes life bearable sometimes.