Venting Paranoia

[szk]

I hate living with paranoia. It's a painful and tormenting feeling to deal with too. Each time I do something wrong I can't help but feel as if others know. For example when I tear up my skin from self harm I can't help but shake and tremble as if my friends know I did it even though they're not around. I also feel as if I'm being watched doing this stuff too. I don't know the best way to describe it but it makes me have panic attacks more frequently and often. The day I plan to CtB (which might be pushed back) I don't want to tell my friends because I'm scared they're already gonna know and try to talk me out of it which at this point I doubt they can.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really horrible what you have to go through, it's true that existing here certainly can be torture, at least to me it's best not to be open about plans to ctb with other people. But anyway I wish you the best.