Overwhelming guilt

[IHurtTheOneILove]

Currently out of state in a hotel away from everyone and I'm getting calls + texts from all my friends and family. I dont wanna keep living but oh my god if I dont feel guilty. I've come so far to pussy out last second.

This sucks

 

[letsgetittogo]

Do they know you plan to ctb?

 

[etherealgoddess]

I'm really sorry about what you're going through. That sounds complicated. </3

 

[IHurtTheOneILove]

Do they know you plan to ctb?

Nope but I'm pretty sure they have a feeling because I've attempted in the past

 

[letsgetittogo]

I saw the post with your previous attempt (I think it was sleeping pills?) is that still your method?

What have your loved ones been saying?

 

[IHurtTheOneILove]

I saw the post with your previous attempt (I think it was sleeping pills?) is that still your method?

What have your loved ones been saying?

Current method is firearm so it'll be sure to work. My loved ones are saying they're worried and that they love me.

 

[letsgetittogo]

that's really tough man :/ I don't have family members so that's not really a problem for me. I can't imagine how much guilt it can bring.
No matter when or how you choose to ctb, you'll always be leaving someone behind. Someone will grieve your absence.

 

[IHurtTheOneILove]

that's really tough man :/ I don't have family members so that's not really a problem for me. I can't imagine how much guilt it can bring.
No matter when or how you choose to ctb, you'll always be leaving someone behind. Someone will grieve your absence.

Thats true but seeing this much of an outpour hurts. I'll see how it goes. I'm still planning on CTB tonight but holy fuck it's so much harder now.

 

[letsgetittogo]

are you 100% sure about ctb?
I don't want to discourage you, I just bet that the outpour might make you hesitate or unsure. Just want to pick your brains about how you feel

 

[IHurtTheOneILove]

are you 100% sure about ctb?
I don't want to discourage you, I just bet that the outpour might make you hesitate or unsure. Just want to pick your brains about how you feel

I'm fairlt certain I want to. I've destroyed my life these past couple months and feel like I can't recover. I could always explain suicidal tendencies to my professors but that feels shitty idk.

 

[justcallmeJ]

Im sorry you in such a difficult situation now, maybe think it through again. Whatever you decide i wish you the best <3

 

[IHurtTheOneILove]

Just put up a note on the closet saying not to come in there's a dead body. I only have FMJ rounds which is making me nervous but I should be unconcious on impact regardless so.

Blocks interior as well so it all works

 

[onbekend]

Best wishes for you, I hope you'll be in peace regardless of what happens.