Venting Overwhelmed by the demands of life

[willitpass]

I'm overwhelmed by all the things life demands of me. I'm doing well in life. I'm successful at my job, doing well in school to ultimately achieve my dream career, I have hobbies, okay money, some friends. But the effort it takes to maintain these things is consuming me. I feel like I'm falling behind trying to chase the train of demands. Even though I'm succeeding and from the outside appear put together, internally I don't want to keep doing this. I want a break. A months long vacation to just do nothing. Yet I know even that can't make me happy. I just want to stop. I need to stop. I need to die. I need to fucking die.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Do you feel the people in your life having trouble taking your pain seriously because of how outwardly successful you are?

It sounds like a lot of the difficulty stems from having to emotionally cope all alone.

 

[willitpass]

Do you feel the people in your life having trouble taking your pain seriously because of hoe outwardly successful you are?

It sounds like a lot of the difficulty stems from having to emotionally cope all alone.

I don't tell people how I'm feeling anymore. I spent years and years in every treatment available, including a cumulative of two years inpatient throughout the years. I saw how much hurt I caused the people around me while I was sick. It was incredibly incredibly hard on my friends and family, and I lost many people along the way. Despite all of those efforts to get better, I am still in the same place I was in the beginning, if not worse in some ways. There are no more treatment options, and I refuse to put the people around me through that turmoil again. There is nothing they could do to help me that has not already been tried, so suffering alone is the best option for me and those around me.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I don't tell people how I'm feeling anymore. I spent years and years in every treatment available, including a cumulative of two years inpatient throughout the years. I saw how much hurt I caused the people around me while I was sick. It was incredibly incredibly hard on my friends and family, and I lost many people along the way. Despite all of those efforts to get better, I am still in the same place I was in the beginning, if not worse in some ways. There are no more treatment options, and I refuse to put the people around me through that turmoil again. There is nothing they could do to help me that has not already been tried, so suffering alone is the best option for me and those around me.

That's understandable. You don't deserve to suffer alone but it can be easier to just keep it to yourself. Well, easier in some ways.

Is there any way to slow down the pace of your life so you can catch your breath?

Even if you don't share your deepest thoughts and feelings is there any degree of support available from anyone?

 

[willitpass]

That's understandable. You don't deserve to suffer alone but it can be easier to just keep it to yourself. Well, easier in some ways.

Is there any way to slow down the pace of your life so you can catch your breath?

Even if you don't share your deepest thoughts and feelings is there any degree of support available from anyone?

I'm on therapy. I have a good family and some friends. There is no help for me as I don't want it. I am long since too exhausted to want to continue problem solving. I am resigned to my suffering.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I'm on therapy. I have a good family and some friends. There is no help for me as I don't want it. I am long since too exhausted to want to continue problem solving. I am resigned to my suffering.

Okay Well, I hope you find peace. Must be exhausting to try to continue to engage with the world the way you are whilst feeling this way. I've long given up on that. So I give you full credit.