Overdose

[inconclusivesorbet]

im talking to a seller of fentanyl
That sounds like the most peaceful way out? Right its gotta be if its not Sn but I cant fuck this up and get accidentally addicted if it doesnt work. This person says they can drop it off. Thats like so convenient! I wish it didnt come to this. I dont know if I am gonna string him along until he blocks me or take the bait. I really want to take the bait. At first i was considering sn but then my debit gift card didnt work out. Then I was considering hanging and that seems like a terrible thing to do to my mom who loves me the most. I'm dead weight as an unemployed uneducated 30 year old felon. Im not any good to take care of her in her old age. This feels like something i need to do even if im so numb i dont actually want to as much as I had before. I just numb myself out staring at my phone. I lost almost all of my friends in psychosis. Its just not worth it. I figure i bang down a few pressies and snort a gram of powder drown it down in whiskey and just fade away. Theres no 2 day procedure to prepare and if theres no tolerance than i just! Poof! I get to leave. I can never live a life i cannot forgive myself in and i cant forgive myself.

 

[MyMomWasMyLife]

You're mom would be devastated. Please reconsider.

 

[peacebenow]

how do you know the seller is legit?

 

[inconclusivesorbet]

I've been trying to push through it but im no good to her like this. I hate myself so incredibly deeply. I have called the hotlines, attended therapy groups, been sober for a year. Checked into the hospital. She's my whole world and its such a deeply lonely one. I cannot help her. I cannot help myself. I know this heartbreak would ruin her for she's such a compassionate and lovely woman that's seen death time and time again in her time as a nurse. But im on borrowed time. I dont even think im capable of love let alone deserving of it anymore. I have destroyed all my relationships through negligence and selfishness and self destruction. I need to do this soon.
He was sending me photos and checking if I was a cop on telegram. Its pretty easy to get here in seattle. Have had a couple of people ive known accidentally go out this way.

how do you know the seller is legit?

They were sending me photos and confirming I wasn't a cop
Im amazed when people have SN and are able to store it until they need it. Most times it seems like they just take the plunge. Id probably just take the plunge and go for it I think.
How long have you been holding on to your method of choice?

 

[peacebenow]

I've been trying to push through it but im no good to her like this. I hate myself so incredibly deeply. I have called the hotlines, attended therapy groups, been sober for a year. Checked into the hospital. She's my whole world and its such a deeply lonely one. I cannot help her. I cannot help myself. I know this heartbreak would ruin her for she's such a compassionate and lovely woman that's seen death time and time again in her time as a nurse. But im on borrowed time. I dont even think im capable of love let alone deserving of it anymore. I have destroyed all my relationships through negligence and selfishness and self destruction. I need to do this soon.
He was sending me photos and checking if I was a cop on telegram. Its pretty easy to get here in seattle. Have had a couple of people ive known accidentally go out this way.

They were sending me photos and confirming I wasn't a cop
Im amazed when people have SN and are able to store it until they need it. Most times it seems like they just take the plunge. Id probably just take the plunge and go for it I think.
How long have you been holding on to your method of choice?

I've been trying to push through it but im no good to her like this. I hate myself so incredibly deeply. I have called the hotlines, attended therapy groups, been sober for a year. Checked into the hospital. She's my whole world and its such a deeply lonely one. I cannot help her. I cannot help myself. I know this heartbreak would ruin her for she's such a compassionate and lovely woman that's seen death time and time again in her time as a nurse. But im on borrowed time. I dont even think im capable of love let alone deserving of it anymore. I have destroyed all my relationships through negligence and selfishness and self destruction. I need to do this soon.
He was sending me photos and checking if I was a cop on telegram. Its pretty easy to get here in seattle. Have had a couple of people ive known accidentally go out this way.

They were sending me photos and confirming I wasn't a cop
Im amazed when people have SN and are able to store it until they need it. Most times it seems like they just take the plunge. Id probably just take the plunge and go for it I think.
How long have you been holding on to your method of choice?

sounds like you know the scene and have a good gut feeling on the seller. I am still waiting for my SN to arrive. it has been in transit in U* for about a month now and has yet to leave U* . Extremely slow and challenging waiting. so you know, you are lovable even if you don't believe it.

 

[inconclusivesorbet]

sounds like you know the scene and have a good gut feeling on the seller. I am still waiting for my SN to arrive. it has been in transit in U* for about a month now and has yet to leave U* . Extremely slow and challenging waiting. so you know, you are lovable even if you don't believe it.

Are you planning on using it as soon as you get it?

 

[Kanau_Nano]

I'm concerned it's not very pure or actually fent or they might be a cop. But, I'm not in your situation you know more than me. Can you at least get fent test strips when you get it to make sure this is real? Wouldn't want you taking god knows what and getting injured possibly.

It's really hard to leave your mom behind i understand. I'll be doing the same. You love her so much i don't think you'd ever be deadweight to her.

Everything your feeling sounds really hard

 

[inconclusivesorbet]

I'm concerned it's not very pure or actually fent or they might be a cop. But, I'm not in your situation you know more than me. Can you at least get fent test strips when you get it to make sure this is real? Wouldn't want you taking god knows what and getting injured possibly.

It's really hard to leave your mom behind i understand. I'll be doing the same. You love her so much i don't think you'd ever be deadweight to her.

Everything your feeling sounds really hard

I feel like theyre not a cop because they tried to make sure I wasn't a cop and showed me pictures of the product. Even if its not completely pure a little can go a long way. How else could I be injured if it doesnt work?

 

[Kanau_Nano]

I feel like theyre not a cop because they tried to make sure I wasn't a cop and showed me pictures of the product. Even if its not completely pure a little can go a long way. How else could I be injured if it doesnt work?

I've never been involved with cops really, but they can lie or do things to seem legit like that. I've seen it on YouTube videos.

True a little can go a long way, if you got no tolerance. If it's cut with certain stuff it could just be really bad to have inside of you, but not in a deadly way. When I used to get drugs I know for a fact some of my stuff was cut or completely diffrent and one time I went into psychosis real bad. Sometimes I just got mystery powder and felt sick.

Get something to test it tho fr