I don't know if anyone could understand exactly what I'm going through in terms of resentment.
I know many people deal with resentment, but mine is often quite general, especially when I get into the depths of hopelessness, like I am feeling currently.
It's like I'm emotionally misanthropic, even though I don't believe in misanthropy.
I believe I have AVPD. Perhaps even more severe than most with that personality disorder, based on what I have read online from people with the disorder who still manage to live a life resembling some sort of normalcy.
Even that fuels my resentment. I despise those people who I perceive as better than me in some regard (which is most people since I am quite abnormal in a negative way... at least based on people I've encountered. There are probably people like me who refuse to even write about their experiences on the internet. Probably the narcissist in me).
It's very easy for me to feel resentment. I'll read posts on this forum and resent the author for exposing a particular aspect about their life that I envy. "I hate them. They are nothing like me."
Perhaps I was more amicable towards people in the past, but now I am quite the vile, hostile being.
I know many people deal with resentment, but mine is often quite general, especially when I get into the depths of hopelessness, like I am feeling currently.
It's like I'm emotionally misanthropic, even though I don't believe in misanthropy.
I believe I have AVPD. Perhaps even more severe than most with that personality disorder, based on what I have read online from people with the disorder who still manage to live a life resembling some sort of normalcy.
Even that fuels my resentment. I despise those people who I perceive as better than me in some regard (which is most people since I am quite abnormal in a negative way... at least based on people I've encountered. There are probably people like me who refuse to even write about their experiences on the internet. Probably the narcissist in me).
It's very easy for me to feel resentment. I'll read posts on this forum and resent the author for exposing a particular aspect about their life that I envy. "I hate them. They are nothing like me."
Perhaps I was more amicable towards people in the past, but now I am quite the vile, hostile being.
