Venting Thought I could looksmax my way out of a subhuman life

[laydownandrot]

Pretty much title, for the last year or so I've been trying to improve my appearance, thinking that it would magically make me happy, that people would like and respect me, and that I could go out and have fun amongst people my age. To no one's surprise but mine, literally nothing in my life has changed in a positive direction. Other than to go to school, I never leave my room and drain my lifeforce watching bullshit (and now researching various treatments, drugs and surgeries). Only now I hate myself more and am more afraid to go out in public as I'm increasingly aware of my appearance. Sure I'm better looking now, but ultimately it's irrelevant against my manlet genetics (170cm) and my repulsive psychology that makes me unloveable.

I've become so resentful recently as I've come to terms with my reality, missing out on all these social milestones that everyone else my age seems to be enjoying. This combined with my high inhbition and inferiority complex has made me socially retarded. I've got a school formal event coming up and I got a girl to go with me, but I'm terrified. It'll be the first time I meet her, and probably the last. I don't even like her, I just want to seem like a normal, sociable human being for one night.

Also I'm still going to continue trying to optimise my appearance. There's improvements yet to be made before I run out of non-surgical options, then I'll probably explore surgery. Even if it does nothing it's admittedly been kind of engaging researching, implementing and seeing the tangible outcome.

 

[sometimelater]

what kind of school formal event? like prom or something? in high school i never had any events that i would be going to with a girl i had never met before

 

[laydownandrot]

what kind of school formal event? like prom or something? in high school i never had any events that i would be going to with a girl i had never met before

Kinda like prom yeah. Most people are going with girls they already know but the event's seen as prestigious so girls from other schools are willing to go with random dudes if it means they get an invite.

 

[never mind me]

I'm sorry your feeling so bad about yourself. Honestly I think it would make more sense to try to accept yourself more and dare to interact with others more rather than desperately try to be better looking. In the end I doubt that even looking a lot better will change your situation.
Typically it is not people who are bad looking who miss out on a normal social life, but those who don't dare to interact with others. So if your ultimate aim is to have a normal social life, you should learn how to be more outgoing and make friends. I don't know, if you have a chance to access therapy? If you do, I would advice you to try psychotherapy, because your focus on your looks and not daring to interact with people doesn't sound healthy. And it sounds like you are still very young, so it could really make a big difference for your life, if you get these issues fixed.

 

[laydownandrot]

I'm sorry your feeling so bad about yourself. Honestly I think it would make more sense to try to accept yourself more and dare to interact with others more rather than desperately try to be better looking. In the end I doubt that even looking a lot better will change your situation.
Typically it is not people who are bad looking who miss out on a normal social life, but those who don't dare to interact with others. So if your ultimate aim is to have a normal social life, you should learn how to be more outgoing and make friends. I don't know, if you have a chance to access therapy? If you do, I would advice you to try psychotherapy, because your focus on your looks and not daring to interact with people doesn't sound healthy. And it sounds like you are still very young, so it could really make a big difference for your life, if you get these issues fixed.

Yeah I'm not bad looking, it's mostly my mental that's holding me back tbh. I don't know if it's entirely genetic or what, but I've been depressed for so long I've just accepted it as a permanent fixture of my life. Think I was on antidepressants when I was 12, saw a psychiatrist for years after that but it never went anywhere, now not on either. I guess I just wanted to get a feel of what life is supposed to be to see if that would make me happy.

 

[coolcow1289]

I've also gotten into "looksmaxxing" because I have a skin condition, and reading about dermatology I ended up in those spheres. They actually helped me a lot. Simple stuff like sunscreen, not washing your face with shampoo, etc.

But in general you need to disregard what other people think. In fact, you actually should spite them for it. Someone doesn't like you because you're short? They're shallow and vain and you're superior to them because of it. Anyone who wouldn't date you because of some physical characteristic is not worth the time of day. That's the way you have to approach the world if you want to keep your dignity. Its easy to lose your dignity in this society.