Overcome fear of hard methods

[deadfrog]

Hello! Unfortunately I'm still alive. I was in a coma after my last attempt, but survived, which I'm really angry and upset about. Now I'm looking into harsher methods of suicide, with very low chances of survival. Those are also more gruesome and painful, so I'm asking how do I overcome the fear of that pain and the fear of something going wrong and me surviving somehow? I feel ready, life is only going downhill and I have no hopes or dreams or reasons to live for. I am done. But when I come close to actually committing, I panic. I hate myself for being so weak. I just want to get it over with. I don't want to suffer anymore.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, trying to cease existing going wrong and leading to way worse suffering and torture is also what I fear and I see so much cruelty in how such can happen with no limit as to how much agony one can feel, I always suffer so much from how painless, guaranteed death is denied, it's so horrible to me how we exist in this anti-suicide world where the suffering and torture of existing is seen as to force and prolong no matter what, I also just wish to be free from it all, I hope you find the relief you search for.

 

[deadfrog]

I understand, trying to cease existing going wrong and leading to way worse suffering and torture is also what I fear and I see so much cruelty in how such can happen with no limit as to how much agony one can feel, I always suffer so much from how painless, guaranteed death is denied, it's so horrible to me how we exist in this anti-suicide world where the suffering and torture of existing is seen as to force and prolong no matter what, I also just wish to be free from it all, I hope you find the relief you search for.

I feel you. I hate how suicide is always seen as something bad, when sometimes it could be such a relief. For me, death would be the best thing that could happen. I wish I could just take a pill and die peacefully, with no chance of waking up again or even waking up in a worse state. I hope I can find a way to die soon and I also hope that I will finally succeed and don't have to suffer anymore. The next time I can leave home without causing suspicion (I am mostly housebound due to chronic illness) I will do it and just hope for the best. Hope I don't survive and be trapped in a comatose prison. That is my biggest fear. Being locked in my own body completely paralyzed and unable to communicate. Let's all hope it won't come to that. Thank you for being here and sharing your thoughts!

 

[nobodycaresaboutme]

Hello, I'm sorry you didn't make it and are now suffering from the previous attempt. I think that methods with low chances of survival don't always mean that the process is more painful. Please take a look at the resource compilation thread. Overcoming SI is your personal journey, and it can be very hard or long. You are not weak just because you are not ready right now. There are so many members feeling like this here. It'll be nice to browse this site and interact with us to explore the way you finally decide to go. Whatever decision you take I wish you the best.

 

[zizzou]

I think the trick is to work up an overwhelming amount of emotion. Like a manic episode of sorts. Spiral or something. When that happens to me Im confident I can do it

 

[itsgone2]

Hello! Unfortunately I'm still alive. I was in a coma after my last attempt, but survived, which I'm really angry and upset about. Now I'm looking into harsher methods of suicide, with very low chances of survival. Those are also more gruesome and painful, so I'm asking how do I overcome the fear of that pain and the fear of something going wrong and me surviving somehow? I feel ready, life is only going downhill and I have no hopes or dreams or reasons to live for. I am done. But when I come close to actually committing, I panic. I hate myself for being so weak. I just want to get it over with. I don't want to suffer anymore.

Can I ask what put you in the coma?

Yes harshness is needed. I have many reasons to fsh tonight. It's not even fear now. I assume only si.

 

[deadfrog]

I think the trick is to work up an overwhelming amount of emotion. Like a manic episode of sorts. Spiral or something. When that happens to me Im confident I can do it

That's so true I've noticed the same thing with myself!