Over 35? 40? 50? 60?.... Can share?

[SchizoPolyGymnast]

Then why are you on a suicide website if everything is so positive for you.

Are you bothered by me being here, or are you just curious?

I have a disability. I'm not suicidal all the time, but when I am, it's a crash and burn affair.

 

[Jamesbond]

Are you bothered by me being here, or are you just curious?

I have a disability. I'm not suicidal all the time, but when I am, it's a crash and burn affair.

Just wondering what makes you want to be on a suicide website if you're happy and doing well, of course I'm not bothered by you. Just trying to understand why

 

[SchizoPolyGymnast]

Just wondering what makes you want to be on a suicide website if you're happy and doing well, of course I'm not bothered by you. Just trying to understand why

Gotcha! The reason I am happy and doing well is because of SaSu. It's the only place where I feel confident that if anything is happening in my life, someone will be there, I won't be censored to the point of absurdity (Instagram, I'm looking at you), and I definitely won't have 911 called on me. If I can make friends, give advice, and offer emotional support along the way, that's even better.

 

[Jamesbond]

Gotcha! The reason I am happy and doing well is because of SaSu. It's the only place where I feel confident that if anything is happening in my life, someone will be there, I won't be censored to the point of absurdity (Instagram, I'm looking at you), and I definitely won't have 911 called on me. If I can make friends, give advice, and offer emotional support along the way, that's even better.

That makes sense sort of. Don't you ever worry it will drag you down when you have dark times being so used to being on here. Since I made my decision I have become hyper focused on here and the idea of killing myself is becoming less scary to me

 

[SchizoPolyGymnast]

That makes sense sort of. Don't you ever worry it will drag you down when you have dark times being so used to being on here. Since I made my decision I have become hyper focused on here and the idea of killing myself is becoming less scary to me

I'm waiting until my parents are gone, then I will reassess. I have a favorite method picked out. But for now, I'm not miserable. I'll take it.

 

[MillennialApathy]

I'm 35. My reasons are mostly financial. Unemployed and have zero safety net. If I had a job and the ability to afford the standard cost of living, I'd be able to muddle through. But without income, within capitalism, I'd rather ctb than suffer through homelessness with zero resources.

I also suffer from existentialism. The inability to simply 'exist' in life without every aspect of it being behind a paywall I will never be able to afford is the the other factor why I'll be leaving this physical experience.

If I had other options such as a job, a place to live, or other tangible support, I probably wouldn't CTB and would simply muddle through the rest of my existence. Since I have no financial options and no where to safely acquire options, I'll just see myself out.

 

[Jamesbond]

I'm waiting until my parents are gone, then I will reassess. I have a favorite method picked out. But for now, I'm not miserable. I'll take it.

Are they sick or something? Sorry if I sound cold I don't mean to, I struggle with people and understanding reasons. I've had to completely switch of the part of my brain that can think about any impact my death will have on anyone else. I don't see anyone anyway but for me I can't afford to think about anyone else

 

[SchizoPolyGymnast]

Are they sick or something? Sorry if I sound cold I don't mean to, I struggle with people and understanding reasons. I've had to completely switch of the part of my brain that can think about any impact my death will have on anyone else. I don't see anyone anyway but for me I can't afford to think about anyone else

No worries, I get it.

My parents both have a potentially dangerous heart arrhythmia, and my dad had a stroke. My mother has had multiple surgeries. I have been their caregiver for years. They are doing well right now, and I want to make the most of my time with them while they are still here. I will lay them to rest when the time comes, and then maybe I will follow. I figure my job will be done at that point.

Thank you for taking the time to understand. I'm happy to answer any questions you have.

 

[StoneCactus]

I'm in my 40s and I'm potentially looking at prison. Which is survivable except for the fact that I'm autistic and Jewish in a US state where you basically have to join a race-based gang to survive and the whites hate Jews. If I get into GP there's a very good chance someone like the Aryan Brotherhood will do terrible things to me, possibly even worse than killing me.

 

[unluckysadness]

I'm 43, male, France. I have multiple health issues including cervical dystonia which causes me muscle spams and chronic pain. But my mental health is maybe worse than my physical condition. Agoraphobia since I was 16, traumas since my childhood and so on... Never had sex, never been in love with someone. I only experienced violence, humiliation and pain. In fact, I should be dead since a long time but my SI is so powerful. Shit...

 

[SchizoPolyGymnast]

I'm in my 40s and I'm potentially looking at prison. Which is survivable except for the fact that I'm autistic and Jewish in a US state where you basically have to join a race-based gang to survive and the whites hate Jews. If I get into GP there's a very good chance someone like the Aryan Brotherhood will do terrible things to me, possibly even worse than killing me.

You're not alone, my friend

 

[Jamesbond]

No worries, I get it.

My parents both have a potentially dangerous heart arrhythmia, and my dad had a stroke. My mother has had multiple surgeries. I have been their caregiver for years. They are doing well right now, and I want to make the most of my time with them while they are still here. I will lay them to rest when the time comes, and then maybe I will follow. I figure my job will be done at that point.

Thank you for taking the time to understand. I'm happy to answer any questions you have.

That makes sense, I looked after my grandad for a long time when he had dementia, a long time ago now. Felt lost when he died

 

[imagonner]

43, Greece. Already have a failed suicide attempt from jumping from the 3rd floor during a panic attack 3 years ago. Recovered from it with the help of my wife,her family and therapy.
In August I was hospitalized for the first time at a psych ward for a month because I had a big fight with my family and brother. This lead to a divorce, losing my job, anhedonia and generally not giving a shit about anything anymore.
I got a new job but everyday I think about CTB, I have my FSH setup ready at my basement, almost went ahead with it twice but somehow convinced myself to abort.

SN is very easily available in Greece (sold at shops with lab equipment for schools) but don't really feel like going that way, jumping or FSH would be my choice but getting lazy, to do anything really, at my free time I just lie on bed and do nothing.

Maybe tomorrow wil be the day. I've ran out of quietapine so don't know how the fuck i'll manager to survive the weekend.

hi, you still around? can you actually get sn in greece? as greece is in the eu, sale of sn is supposed to be controlled and only sold to businesses.

 

[PeaceSeeker83]

43 male from Australia. Long term and chronic mental health conditions and no longer interested in life. Not interested in living another 3 plus decades let alone another day/week. Have 5 possible methods, but it depends upon what I can acquire, afford or be approved for. Focused on SN method for now.

 

[ctb_warrior]

36 m India. MDD with suicidal thoughts. Given life enough chances but life is more adamant than my efforts

 

[Tired_birth_1967]

63. Depression, anxiety accompanied by anger, heightened sadness, and suicidal ideation since a very young age. I do not believe in anything supernatural and consider life an accident. I am married, and I do not usually share my desire not to be alive openly with my wife. Being married only adds to the burden of being alive because I love her, and every little negative thing that happens to her affects me—especially if I cannot resolve it.