Other people's opinion of you.

[Walilamdzi]

I keep noticing myself getting fixated on the idea that I've alienated people by saying something wrong, or that they think badly of me due to minor things I've done in the past which they probably don't remember. I don't know why it matters to me, and everyone is probably too busy getting on with their lives to even think about these things. I wish I felt like people had a positive reaction to me though.

 

[Divine Trinity]

Expectation is not based on reality, and anything not based in reality is fantasy. When something goes unexpected we think, in some variation, "it 'should' not have happened". Reality is it did, but we're upset about it anyways.

It's not because of the result itself but because of disappointment. When you have expectations, naturally it leads to a fear of disappointment. That fear develops into numerous problems overtime in various aspects of our lives, and society.

Clarify: Disappointment is a form of mental (ig "emotional") pain, typically we avoid, cope, or act aggressively to painful things.

In the case of the disappointment, we tend associate the pain of disappointment to the person/thing that triggers our response. In reality we do it to ourselves, because our expections is based on assumptions and beliefs. To cut this short, people project their anger at themselves towards others when something doesn't goes the way they deem it should. I'm not sure how to prove it, but I think expectation is taught to us from our environment, not an internal mechanism like joy or grief.

No matter how old we get we'll always be a big baby, some think hiding the fact from other makes them "mature". If this all makes any sense.

 

[Memento Mori]

i am air to them or bad, or a mixture of both. but secretly, i am the great lunatic sadistic leader of the illuminati! and i enjoy walking around these fools like i'm just a regular businessman on his way to work.

 

[coileanbeag]

yeah it's having a negative thought process for everything that happens in life, but it's really prominent in the social side of life.
It all goes back to when we were in tribes and the opinion of others matter in order to still be included and survive as a human on its own couldn't survive easily. social anxiety was introduced to make sure we acted right within the tribe
I watched a video on yt about it once. And I think it makes sense, I could've misinterpreted it though. Nowadays it's not needed but it's still deeply rooted in our brain
(｡ ́︿ ̀｡)

 

[EddieAllenPoe]

It's funny you should say this. I was just listening to someone talk about this exact topic on YouTube. I was reflecting on how I have had my own fears of worrying about what other people think. The video I was listening to talked about how people tend to use "motivated reasoning". It doesn't matter to most people what is actually true. They just want confirmation for what they believe. This can make it hard for you to be yourself. I don't think you're the only one that struggles with this!

 

[WaterUnder]

It's funny you should say this. I was just listening to someone talk about this exact topic on YouTube. I was reflecting on how I have had my own fears of worrying about what other people think. The video I was listening to talked about how people tend to use "motivated reasoning". It doesn't matter to most people what is actually true. They just want confirmation for what they believe. This can make it hard for you to be yourself. I don't think you're the only one that struggles with this!

I read an article on that same topic recently. Wish I could cite it, because I think you'd really enjoy it. I just don't remember where I read it.

 

[brbr]

I have the constant feeling that everybody hates me (but I'm a junkie, nobody likes junkies D: )
Is it just me?

 

[TAW122]

I guess it is the subconscious part of human nature to want validation and acceptance by others, even if we try really hard to override our basic programming, both societal and genetic. I experienced similar things too, people think either poorly of me or they just don't want anything to do with me and yet they don't really say what it is. I'm pretty isolated in day to day life as well, and on top of working (or was working until my temporary position ended), I just don't have much time for socialization.

 

[coileanbeag]

I have the constant feeling that everybody hates me (but I'm a junkie, nobody likes junkies D: )
Is it just me?

well if it means anything, I like you :)

 

[Mr2005]

I'm a better person now but one that the average person likes less

 

[RememberWhatUCameFor]

in the big 5 personality trait model this kind of thoughts/behavior are referred to as neuroticism

 

[Youthanasia]

Most would think i'm a jackass but hey, a sick german once said

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music

So I like to just follow this logic