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draekmir

draekmir

I rate life 0 stars
Sep 9, 2023
82
Everything feels so melancholic and meaningless at this point. All my fears and worries are fading away. The void awaits. I'm excited.
Ctb countdown starts today, I need to confirm it's really SN and the purity and pick up my meto from pharmacy then it's peace out
I ate some chicken fried rice with veggies last night not expecting to get my SN today hopefully that won't mess anything up. I've also had about a 1/4 can of monster so far today. Small sips to keep me going
It's 4:55am here, shipping tracker says SN will be here between 10:30 and 2pm but no later than 8pm I'm going to fast the rest of today
 
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Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Always was, is, and always shall be.
Jun 22, 2020
6,089
I've had my SN for about 3 years and haven't been able to look at or touch the jar hardly at all for some reason. Yet I like knowing I have it. Everyone should have a way out even if they never really intend to use it, that's how I feel. Life is hard and you never know what it may throw at you. Anyway congratulations to all who at least have gotten SN. Just knowing I have it has been a huge help.
 
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アホペンギン

アホペンギン

Jul 10, 2023
2,203
You cant trust anyone here.
I can't even trust you, you can't trust me, no one can trust anyone.
Like you said to me which I won't forget, everyone is just an IP address…
I've had my SN for about 3 years and haven't been able to look at or touch the jar hardly at all for some reason. Yet I like knowing I have it. Everyone should have a way out even if they never really intend to use it, that's how I feel. Life is hard and you never know what it may throw at you. Anyway congratulations to all who at least have gotten SN. Just knowing I have it has been a huge help.
Hey, I just wanted to tell you something about your SN. You don't have to listen to this but the PPH said it (or something else, I don't remember honestly.)

So, if you had your SN for 3 years or more, it is recommended that you buy new SN, even if its unopened. I advise you to test the SN, maybe and see if its pure if you ever decide to ctb with it someday and if its not pure or you want to be safe regardless, you should buy new SN. I'm not saying this to put any stress on you but its important information.

I wish you the best.
 
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P

peaches

Student
Oct 19, 2022
105
Is there anything I can do to prove that I'm legit faster than that? I would really like the SN in the next 1.5 weeks cause I will be homeless and I want to go out on my own terms and with some dignity. I hope I'm not annoying but this is really frustrating and makes me feel helpless and angry. But I guess I understand you wanna protect the sources and I hope you understand my situation as well.
Someone correct me if I am wrong, but I thought openly sharing resources or providing resources was discouraged on this site because of the risk of it getting shut down.
Ctb is more closeted and threatening to the general public than anything else.
 
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アホペンギン

アホペンギン

Jul 10, 2023
2,203
Someone correct me if I am wrong, but I thought openly sharing resources or providing resources was discouraged on this site because of the risk of it getting shut down.
Ctb is more closeted and threatening to the general public than anything else.
Its best to share sources in PM but sharing it in the forum is NOT ALLOWED. We have to avoid losing so many sources yet so many people still to this day post sources within the forum.
 
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peaches

Student
Oct 19, 2022
105
Its best to share sources in PM but sharing it in the forum is NOT ALLOWED. We have to avoid losing so many sources yet so many people still to this day post sources within the forum.
Thought so. Thanks for clarifying.
 
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draekmir

draekmir

I rate life 0 stars
Sep 9, 2023
82
I can't sleep I'm just listening to music literally counting down the minutes until the SN arrives
Does anything think the chicken fried rice I had last night for dinner would affect me being able to ctb today? Also had about a 1/3 of the can of monster at this point but wont drink anything for at least 2 hours before SN except small sips of water to take meto
 
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アホペンギン

アホペンギン

Jul 10, 2023
2,203
I can't sleep I'm just listening to music literally counting down the minutes until the SN arrives
Does anything think the chicken fried rice I had last night for dinner would affect me being able to ctb today? Also had about a 1/3 of the can of monster at this point but wont drink anything for at least 2 hours before SN except small sips of water to take meto
Its very stressful waiting for the SN to arrive, hopefully it arrives soon. Its also boring waiting, lol.
If you haven't eaten for 8-9 hours then it won't affect anything, if you feel hungry then that means nothing will happen. Make sure to defecate as well because I don't think anyone would want their body to be found in its own shit.. Just my opinion, though.

Remember to take some painkillers as well.. small sips of water.
I think its better to not drink for 4 hours, its what is recommended in the PPH and its what I did when I attempted.
 
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draekmir

draekmir

I rate life 0 stars
Sep 9, 2023
82
Its very stressful waiting for the SN to arrive, hopefully it arrives soon. Its also boring waiting, lol.
If you haven't eaten for 8-9 hours then it won't affect anything, if you feel hungry then that means nothing will happen. Make sure to defecate as well because I don't think anyone would want their body to be found in its own shit.. Just my opinion, though.

Remember to take some painkillers as well.. small sips of water.
I think its better to not drink for 4 hours, its what is recommended in the PPH and its what I did when I attempted.
If you don't mind me asking what was the reason for your attempt failing? I know almost every case I've read about a failed attempts was because of being found early but there are a strange few outliers that concern me
 
アホペンギン

アホペンギン

Jul 10, 2023
2,203
If you don't mind me asking what was the reason for your attempt failing? I know almost every case I've read about a failed attempts was because of being found early but there are a strange few outliers that concern me
I threw up a lot and after I threw up the 3rd glass I called the hospital. Thats why I failed, nausea.
 
suicidal flapper

suicidal flapper

Student
Jul 15, 2023
102
I'm probably going to be in the same boat at some point down the road soon. It's painful that life is so cruel that ending of your pain sends that much anxiety
 
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draekmir

draekmir

I rate life 0 stars
Sep 9, 2023
82
I'm probably going to be in the same boat at some point down the road soon. It's painful that life is so cruel that ending of your pain sends that much anxiety
I don't know if you read any of my replies since the start of thread but I'm a lot more calm now and more excited than anything. I'm ready...
Screenshot 20230919 082529 794 this wait is the worst part of deciding this is how I want to go. I wish it could just be here already I don't need more time to risk SI kicking in 😅
 
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draekmir

draekmir

I rate life 0 stars
Sep 9, 2023
82
I'm at my psychiatrist appointment little does she know this is my last visit I'm just here to get the prescription for my meto to send to the pharmacy. I unfortunately don't have the money to get aquarium test strips
 
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アホペンギン

アホペンギン

Jul 10, 2023
2,203
I'm at my psychiatrist appointment little does she know this is my last visit I'm just here to get the prescription for my meto to send to the pharmacy. I unfortunately don't have the money to get aquarium test strips
Thats true.. this will be your last appointment and she is completely unaware of that. I feel bad for her because your death will be a surprise and very sudden but it is what it is..

Its best to have aquarium test strips but I understand the problems with money. At least do the blood test, its better than nothing…
 
draekmir

draekmir

I rate life 0 stars
Sep 9, 2023
82
So I will be doing a blood test and will post a picture of my SN for you guys to see, no sources obviously
Thats true.. this will be your last appointment and she is completely unaware of that. I feel bad for her because your death will be a surprise and very sudden but it is what it is..

Its best to have aquarium test strips but I understand the problems with money. At least do the blood test, its better than nothing…
Also don't feel too bad this is only my 2nd appointment at this psychiatrist she doesn't really know me
I haven't ate in at least 10 hours or drank anything other than swallowing my own saliva for 4 hours. I got all my affairs in order timed emails and donating a lot of stuff to goodwill. No real need to say bye to family or anything IDC about them. I'm just ready to get my SN which will arrive in the next hour to 3 hours according to my tracking
I haven't ate in at least 10 hours or drank anything other than swallowing my own saliva for 4 hours. I got all my affairs in order timed emails and donating a lot of stuff to goodwill. No real need to say bye to family or anything IDC about them. I'm just ready to get my SN which will arrive in the next hour to 3 hours according to my tracking
 
アホペンギン

アホペンギン

Jul 10, 2023
2,203
So I will be doing a blood test and will post a picture of my SN for you guys to see, no sources obviously

Also don't feel too bad this is only my 2nd appointment at this psychiatrist she doesn't really know me
But the thing is, the blood test only proves that nitrite is present in the SN rather than proving the purity. I'm sure you heard this a few times but its very important to know which is why many people advise to use the aquarium test over the blood test if possible.

I'd actually like to see the source, I can sometimes see if the website is sketchy or not and from that I can tell if the SN is legit but sometimes I can't tell and you don't want to give sources so I won't force you nor do I aim to make you feel obligated to give me your source as I already have my own sources.

Thats fine, then. If you have been seeing her for years that'd be really bad on her behalf 😂
 
draekmir

draekmir

I rate life 0 stars
Sep 9, 2023
82
But the thing is, the blood test only proves that nitrite is present in the SN rather than proving the purity. I'm sure you heard this a few times but its very important to know which is why many people advise to use the aquarium test over the blood test if possible.

I'd actually like to see the source, I can sometimes see if the website is sketchy or not and from that I can tell if the SN is legit but sometimes I can't tell and you don't want to give sources so I won't force you nor do I aim to make you feel obligated to give me your source as I already have my own sources.

Thats fine, then. If you have been seeing her for years that'd be really bad on her behalf 😂
Unfortunately without stealing and risking being locked up losing my chance to ctb my way that's not an option. I have just enough to pick up my meto today and that's it
 
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AnonGermany

AnonGermany

Student
Jul 9, 2023
157
But the thing is, the blood test only proves that nitrite is present in the SN rather than proving the purity. I'm sure you heard this a few times but its very important to know which is why many people advise to use the aquarium test over the blood test if possible.

I'd actually like to see the source, I can sometimes see if the website is sketchy or not and from that I can tell if the SN is legit but sometimes I can't tell and you don't want to give sources so I won't force you nor do I aim to make you feel obligated to give me your source as I already have my own sources.

Thats fine, then. If you have been seeing her for years that'd be really bad on her behalf 😂
No matter where you buy your SN from, no one can tell if its legit/enough purity without testing it. People have been receiving different purities from the same seller before due to different production dates, storaging etc.
 
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draekmir

draekmir

I rate life 0 stars
Sep 9, 2023
82
It's finally here but unfortunately I gotta wait until I can be home alone now, unfortunately my roommate knows what SN is so I'll have to take pics and do blood test as soon as I'm alone. Hopefully won't be long
It's in my hands ong 🥹🥹🥲🥹🥲
*omg
 
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Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Always was, is, and always shall be.
Jun 22, 2020
6,089
I can't even trust you, you can't trust me, no one can trust anyone.
Like you said to me which I won't forget, everyone is just an IP address…

Hey, I just wanted to tell you something about your SN. You don't have to listen to this but the PPH said it (or something else, I don't remember honestly.)

So, if you had your SN for 3 years or more, it is recommended that you buy new SN, even if its unopened. I advise you to test the SN, maybe and see if its pure if you ever decide to ctb with it someday and if its not pure or you want to be safe regardless, you should buy new SN. I'm not saying this to put any stress on you but its important information.

I wish you the best.
I have read the PPH just yesterday and it does NOT say that. I would appreciate if you do not try to give me advice, thank you.
 
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アホペンギン

アホペンギン

Jul 10, 2023
2,203
I have read the PPH just yesterday and it does NOT say that.
Okay, I understand. I heard that information somewhere and thats why I said I wasn't sure. You don't have to listen to me though.. I'm stupid anyways.
 
Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Always was, is, and always shall be.
Jun 22, 2020
6,089
Blood mixed with SN turns dark chocolate brown. You don't need to know the purity if that happens.

Scroll to the photos in this thread:
 
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draekmir

draekmir

I rate life 0 stars
Sep 9, 2023
82
IMG 20230920 024825810 not sure how well the picture shows but it's definitely yellowish. Tried like one grain and id definitely describe the taste as salty. Did a blood test and almost as instantly as it touched my blood it turned a way darker color
I think I got some legit stuff. Now the down side is (and the reason I've been avoiding getting on all day) I have bad news... my doctor has previously said they were going to prescribe reglan aka meto but ended up prescribing me Imitrex and Zofran instead so idk what to do anymore. I can't afford to fail I can't be here by October
 
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