Venting Only suicidal when I'm sober.

[illvoid]

Hi. Not sure where to put this. I feel like I only have suicidal thoughts when I'm not under the influence of something. My drug of choice has always been weed, but I'll pretty much take anything just to feel "normal" at this point. I don't know how to cope with this, especially as I live with my parents & currently do not have a job. I feel like a complete failure. I need substances just to stabilize enough that I'm willing to stay alive. I really don't think I have much to live for. I don't want to live my whole life high but don't see any other option.

 

[soonatpeace777888]

I'm kind of the same way.

Drugs = Free Happy

That's why there is a demand for them.

 

[Hotsackage]

for me its alcohol. we all need something to lighten up our mood, modern medicine doesnt have all the answers

 

[Cute_&_Loving]

I can understand that..... the thing is we can only get better if we sincerely want it. Unless we do, there's no other way. And what sucks even more is that it's such a hard work without and guarantees we can succeed.....

 

[Zebulon]

For me the only thing that works really well is ketamine and alprazolam. But my problem with benzos is they are to awesome, so I just try to use them when i really need them.
Benzo addiction is a bitch and I only have like 3500mg in alrpa and 2500mg in clona. Should last me years, but Im scarred it will run out if I start using regulary.