Venting Only reason I am still not CTB is because can't find DMC

[g0ne1nthew1nd]

I know there are hints everywhere on the site and I have written all the ones I could find down so I can figure it out but I feel so stupid for not being able to figure it out. I might just go with another method if I can. Everything is numb yet it feels painful and I just want to CTB. I don't want help I have alr tried everything I just need to CTB. Every single day has been do what I need to and try to be secretive about how I feel so people don't catch on before I even get the chance. I can't wait to finally find DMC and be in peace.

 

[g0ne1nthew1nd]

What stops me is a lack of courage, determination, and bravery. The survival instinct can be a big problem.

yeah I am very nervous but I feel like once I get it I'll feel better and then when I'm scared again it'll alr be too late

 

[TheHolySword]

what hints do you have? what have you tried so far?

 

[g0ne1nthew1nd]

what hints do you have? what have you tried so far?

ukraine, "A", gets to us and arrives in 15 days (ish), is really nice, stopped saying it has anything to do with CTB bc controvery, and there used to be an "IC". Ive tried therapy, new friends, new life, mental hospital, new coping, focusing on healthy things, unhealthy copes pretty much anything but there isnt anything that fills the numb

 

[FuneralCry]

I just wish for peace from all the suffering as well, I wish there's the option to just simply cease existing and never suffer ever again, I understand finding it painful to exist, I hope that you find the relief you search for.

 

[g0ne1nthew1nd]

I just wish for peace from all the suffering as well, I wish there's the option to just simply cease existing and never suffer ever again, I understand finding it painful to exist, I hope that you find the relief you search for.

Thank you, every time I see you on a post I feel comforted so you responding means a lot <3

 

[NonEssential]

I'm not gonna find out what/who it is for I'm too poor to go for the SN method lol

 

[g0ne1nthew1nd]

I'm not gonna find out what/who it is for I'm too poor to go for the SN method lol

lol I'm planning on saving up and doing anything I can for extra money but yeah its very expensive

 

[sadalways]

All i'm gonna say is I found it through another search engine. Only thing is i lack the money currently and i'm not sure how legal it is to import along with other issues like getting antiemetics i wish you the best though. It sucks we have to go through so much bs in life and when we're sick of it, going out is also a huge pain.