"Online stalking" for fun and OPSEC

[noname223]

With online stalking for fun I am not actually referring to online stalking. But people call that online stalking for fun. Searching for instagram, Linkedin, Facebook profiles of people you know or people you once met in life but lost contact.

I am glad there is no much information connected to my real name or pictures from myself. The biggest risk is probably me using AI chatbots and dating apps.
I don't have many accounts online and the only outlet where I post is on Sanctioned Suicide. I fear though one could identify my style of writing on English pretty easily if I switched the platform.

I don't work and never will be able to work. But I once worked and my boss wanted to put his staff with face and clear names on his business website. So glad (retrospectively) I was fired before that happened. I hated the job and felt ashamed for it.

It feels like you can easily get exposed/blackmailed if there are many photos/information of you on the internet. I don't feel comfortable to use dating apps because of privacy issues. Though, it is one of the few ways to meet someome nowadays so I use them. I probably don't want to find out what happens to information on these apps. I mean if you are a woman and show a bikini photo it is a gambling bet whether you will end up with deep fake technology naked and in porn videos on the internet one day.

Do you search for other people online? Actually, if I meet someone in real life and learn the full name the first thing I do is doing a google search. Lol. I don't do this with everyone but people who make me curious.

 

[Dejected 55]

So many people willingly post information and pictures all over the Internet and then get mad at people who read their posts or seek their photos. I'm not talking about people making threats or faking photos... I'm just talking about stuff people put out there and then seemingly don't want everyone to see.

People are kind of dumb about this sort of thing. If you went outside and screamed in the street, you can't get mad at people for listening. You make a public post of text or photos... you are literally begging people to look and listen and respond. You can't do that and then get mad when they do.

Social media has private profiles... but even with those you want people to see so you invite people to be "friends" with you and anyone you allow to see can always share your posts with someone they know that you do not.

Assume anything you ever share or post online can and will be seen by anyone, everyone, and in perpetuity. There's no other assumption to make. IF you don't want the information or pictures out there, don't share them. It's that simple.

If people steal something from you, that's different. But most of the time what happens is people regret doing a thing or saying a thing OR they want some people to know but don't want others and somehow get mad that they can't control public information once they release it.

The best way to keep a secret is to tell no one. Once you tell anyone a secret, it is no longer a secret.

 

[DistraughtWolf]

Crazy that some people use word "stalking" when they post publicly everything about their lives.

If it bothers so much that someone could go through everything they've posted online, maybe they should limit the stuff they share or just limit access to the stuff they post as much as the platform allows.

 

[Dejected 55]

Crazy that some people use word "stalking" when they post publicly everything about their lives.

If it bothers so much that someone could go through everything they've posted online, maybe they should limit the stuff they share or just limit access to the stuff they post as much as the platform allows.

Yeah. It's stalking if someone hides in your yard and peeps in your window. It's not stalking if you go outside in your front yard where everyone can see you.

It's stalking if someone follows you around all day to see where you go. It's not stalking if you post online your plans and the people you give access to your posts who live near you decide your idea of a good day seems good so they try to have the same day at the same places.

 

[interna]

i think there's nuance. even if its publicly available, i do think it counts as stalking someone if you go out of your way to retrieve said public info, as in finding personal records, inactive accounts, old pictures, family members and whatnot

 

[Forever Sleep]

I wouldn't say I've done it excessively but sure- time to time, I'll search for past work colleagues/ past crushes- to see what they're up to.

I wouldn't say it was a fun experience though. I tended to get so envious of people doing well. It's partly why I eventually quit social media. All that comparison.

 

[Dejected 55]

i think there's nuance. even if its publicly available, i do think it counts as stalking someone if you go out of your way to retrieve said public info, as in finding personal records, inactive accounts, old pictures, family members and whatnot

Define, "going out of your way" though... In this context. Say you are old enough to have had an old MySpace account and some remnant of that Web page is still out there. If you posted something on it publicly and someone finds it years later because they search for you online... how is that stalking?

Conversely... if you meet someone new and you are interested in them and you met them where they work so you go back there and don't see them so you ask another employee when your next shift is. They don't have to answer... but is that wrong? A lot of men and women do this sort of stuff. Also, people recommend ALL the time for women and men to do "research" before dating someone. You meet on a matchmaking site and start looking around the Internet to see what you can find about them in case they aren't who they present themselves to be now. That seems prudent.

Or maybe you like someone and they have a birthday coming up so you ask their friends and family questions to help determine a good gift because you don't want to ask the person and spoil the surprise. Is that stalking?

Also... bottom line... not counting violence, the main differentiator between "stalking" and "romantic gesture" is whether the person likes you or not.

I knew a woman once... she was married... and the story of how she met her husband felt stalkery to me. They were both in college, and randomly met at a party in college. They talked a little but that was it. The semester ended and she went back to her home state for the summer. Dude searched her out, found out where she lived, and showed up on her doorstep. They started dating and got married. BUT had she not found him attractive at that party meeting, she would have been instead relating the story of the time a guy stalked her and showed up at her house uninvited!

Stalking is in the eye of the stalked... to butcher a paraphrase.

 

[buriedinmyhead]

Every once in a while I'll google myself, and I'm always glad to not see my face anywhere (I don't post my face on public profiles). My name is also common, so that helps.

 

[Lamentice]

It feels like you can easily get exposed/blackmailed if there are many photos/information of you on the internet.

Not if you really don't care about those photos/information and who sees them (and technically, if nothing really ever disappears on the internet, I certainly have stuff out there people might assume I give a shit about--but I really don't); don't ever plan on being a public figure or something--and even if I was, diddly fucking shit.

Like this site: I would prefer no one in my personal life ever know I use it, but if they found out, oh well.

 

[Pluto]