One of the reasons why I want to kill myself is because I feel lonely since I have never had a girlfriend. I have never had a love life or a sex life. The way my perpetual singlehood makes me feel unwanted is deeply depressing. A lot of people have killed themselves because of perpetual singlehood so I won't be the first person to do so.
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Superdeterminist
Enlightened
- Apr 5, 2020
- 1,876
I appreciate your post about this. I relate a lot to it as well. Seeing other enjoy relationships is really painful for me when I have never enjoyed that myself. I already know that relationships are "not all they're cracked up to be" and can even cause further issues for a person. But that does nothing to mitigate the frustration from never being able to try it for yourself.
I resonate with this a lot. Thank you for the support. I am sorry that you are also experiencing the same agonizing loneliness. I wish we were romantically lucky as much as our peers.
I'm considering suicide for exactly the same reason. I totally understand the pain, the pain that you're unattractive and unlovable and worthless. Watching couples talking and hugging and kissing is like driving a But I still have a silver of hope as I'm young (younger than 20) so I'm giving life a few more years. I'm truly sorry that you are in this situation. Hope that you find peace soon.
fox_wannabe
Enlightened
- Jul 7, 2021
- 1,112
I used to feel very sad about being single, but being lonely fucks other areas of my life to. Like my job prospects and friendships.
StarryStarry
Cat Lady
- Oct 25, 2021
- 749
Loneliness is one reason, but it isn't the only reason. Maybe if I had someone in my life I wouldn't be thinking of ctb. Who knows?
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 42,622
I know that loneliness can be painful for many people. I'm sorry you have to go through this, life is so unfair. This life can be unbearable when you are suffering so much. I wish you the best in whatever happens.
It didn't help me when I got into relationships it made me feel more depressed because at the root I can never accept this body
It's one of my reasons too. I'm so sorry that you're suffering. Hope things get better for you.
veryhappyhuman
Specialist
- Aug 25, 2021
- 340
It's fucking hopeless and pretty much the entire reason for my ctb. I'm touching 40 and have never even felt the touch of a woman. A couple of one-sided love instances didn't get anywhere.
Just yesterday I politely smiled at someone who'd joined my workplace less than a week ago and she looked up but... didn't even acknowledge it? This despite us sitting literally next to each other lol. This is a person who doesn't know anything about me so it can't have been for something wrong I did. Oh well.
It's almost like women can sense some kind of negative energy around me that repels them. That makes sense NOW, given I AM nothing but negative energy now. But years ago when I was a lot more positive, laughing, joking, spreading good vibes, "putting myself out there" etc etc, it was nothing different. I hate being all r/niceguy-ish like this but it's literally just what happened. I don't feel like blaming anybody else for my predicament though. Clearly there's something wrong with ME, that I just can't for the life of me figure out. All the usual advice I read on the internet hasn't worked out -- personal hygiene, sense of humor, taking care of myself (gymming etc), having hobbies... nope nada. It's like a fucking mystery that I ll probably never find the answer to.
I've been lonely for long enough that I've had delusional cope thoughts like "movies like 40 year old virgin were made because clearly there's a significant number of them" lmao.
Just yesterday I politely smiled at someone who'd joined my workplace less than a week ago and she looked up but... didn't even acknowledge it? This despite us sitting literally next to each other lol. This is a person who doesn't know anything about me so it can't have been for something wrong I did. Oh well.
It's almost like women can sense some kind of negative energy around me that repels them. That makes sense NOW, given I AM nothing but negative energy now. But years ago when I was a lot more positive, laughing, joking, spreading good vibes, "putting myself out there" etc etc, it was nothing different. I hate being all r/niceguy-ish like this but it's literally just what happened. I don't feel like blaming anybody else for my predicament though. Clearly there's something wrong with ME, that I just can't for the life of me figure out. All the usual advice I read on the internet hasn't worked out -- personal hygiene, sense of humor, taking care of myself (gymming etc), having hobbies... nope nada. It's like a fucking mystery that I ll probably never find the answer to.
I've been lonely for long enough that I've had delusional cope thoughts like "movies like 40 year old virgin were made because clearly there's a significant number of them" lmao.
Yup, I been lonely since age 14 and the longer I stay the more bitter miserable and negative I become. I lost that sociable happy carefree self long ago due to this disease
